December Quinn, Erotic RomanceStacia Kane, Sexy Urban Fantasy

Okay, move is complete; update your bookmarks!

2009-07-17T18:54:00.002Z

Check out the new site at Staciakane.net and the new blog at http://www.staciakane.net/blog/.

I hope to see you all there!

Deadline day

2009-07-13T18:12:00.000Z

Can't talk. Working.

See you Thursday.

Endings, beginnings, and tidbits

2009-07-09T21:22:00.005Z

So. First things first.

You guys know I'm having a new website designed. (If you didn't, um, I am.) It's going to go live next week, I believe; very soon.

And... I have decided, after much thought, to retire the Blogger blog.

The blog will stay here. I will still use my Blogger identity because I still read a lot of Blogger blogs (when I can). And ALL of the old entries are being imported into the new blog, so once your bookmarks are updated (if you're bookmarking me), you'll still be able to hunt around and find what you're looking for over there, without having to wander back and forth.

But the new site will be a Wordpress site (I'm a bit nervous about that. Wordpress didn't work well for me in the past but I have messed with it a bit since and I have high hopes). And I wanted an integrated blog, one that was an actual page on the site and not a separate page. I wanted one I could design to look like the rest of the site (or rather, that my web designer, the fabulous Frauke from Croco Designs, could design to look like the rest of the site. And I wanted to streamline a bit, and not have to wander all over the internet to update all my blogs with the same content.

So I had to give up a blog. And to be honest, livejournal is a bit easier for me to use; I like the Friends page there, where I can ee all my friends' updates without having to do all the clicking. And this way I can compose my posts in Wordpress and they will automatically copy over to livejournal (I may have to go modify them to get the tags in, I'm not sure).

It makes me a little sad, to be honest. But I really do want that site/blog integration. I'm trying--I'm going to try--to be better about my website, and not just focus on the blog while the site sits ages out of date. I think that will be easier now, at least I hope it will.

And for those of you who are my Blogger pals, well, I really hope you'll come visit me there. It may be the end of me doing a blog on Blogger but it's the beginning of a new, stylish blog at Wordpress, so I'm--cautiously--excited.

I'll post a link as soon as it's live.

Oh! I have also decided on a topic for our Summer Series. Yes, I know it's a bit late in the summer to start. And no, it won't be as long or as involved as the Strumpet series. But I'm going to be discussing critique partners: What to look for, what to avoid, how to give a good critique, and how to know when to take advice and when to ignore it. So if you have any questions about those topics, or about anything to do with critique partners or beta readers or anything, please leave them in comments (you can do so anon if you wish) or email me with them or whatever. We'll probably start next Thursday the 16th and run through the middle/end of August.

Something else cool is happening. And yes, before I mention it I should disclose that the people involved are my good friends. So, you guys remember when eBay was really fun? When it wasn't all clogged up with professionals selling the same items at inflated prices, but was just people? When it felt like a community? Because Lootslinger.com does. They're a new auction site opening late this summer. I can't give all the details, but the goal is to have fun again; to get to know people, to sell some cool stuff and buy some cool stuff--legal stuff, NOT pirated copies of stuff (they're very committed to copyright protection).

You can check them out on their Facebook page and follow them on Twitter. And you should. Ask them questions. Tell them what you want. Because it's going to be really cool, and because they actually care.

Oh, riight. I have a book release at the end of the month

2009-07-06T17:06:00.002Z

With everything going on, and my spotty schedule here, I haven't been talking about the impending release of Megan Chase book 2, DEMON INSIDE. But it is being released, July 28, which is only 22 days away. Eek!

Publisher's Weekly says it's "sometimes amusing, sometimes terrifying," and that "fans will enjoy the developing complexities."

Romantic Times gives it four stars and says:

Spirited heroine Megan Chase returns in a swift-moving story full of chills, thrills and exploding demons. Get ready for an action-packed rollercoaster ride. Kane’s unique take on the supernatural is entertaining, and flaming hot sex with a fire demons heats up the pages

.

Darque Reviews says:

Ms. Kane packs this book with action at each turn, and a sizzling romance that heats up every page. Demon Inside plunges readers deeper into a world where demons and danger go hand in hand. I’ll be looking forward to the next Megan Chase adventure.

I posted another excerpt of the book on July 4th on the livejournal; a fun, sexy little scene, that's actually one of my favorites in the whole book.

And I'm gearing up for some interviews and giveaways and other fun stuff, which I'll mention as soon as everything is set. :-)

Also, the new website should be ready to go live after the 13th, which is pretty exciting. And I'm going to try to do some sort of spiffy thing for that, and will have more news soon.

One of the things I'll be doing with the new site is setting up a "street team." Which is basically a little gang of readers (I'm calling mine the Downside Army, heh) who help promote the books by doing simple things like dropping off postcards at their local bookstores, or talking about the books, or whatever. (NOTE: This does NOT include such unethical practices as moving my books to the bookstore front tables in place of someone else's books, or rearranging shelves in bookstores, or ganging up on lukewarm reviews on Amazon. Seriously. I would be extremely uncomfortable and unhappy if such things were done in my name; all it does is screw other writers, create more work for booksellers, and make everyone involved look bad. This is supposed to be fun, not guerilla warfare.)

In exchange for these tasks, Army members are eligible for special giveaways and bonus content, and whatever else may strike my fancy.

It's a volunteer thing, of course, and you participate at whatever level you're comfortable with. Say you don't have a local store or don't feel like going in to rave at the staff members about the book(s). Don't do it, then. Write a review on Amazon instead (an HONEST one). Or start a discussion about it. Or post about it on your own blog. The idea is to get some buzz going simply by doing what you would do anyway about/for a book or author you like, but to get some gratitude-based payback from me for it. Not that I'm not thankful to everyone who talks about the books or has emailed me or reviews them, just...This is a little more than that, is all.

Once the site is up I'm going to set up a special email address for the Army, and you'll be able to sign up if you want.

I think that's good for today. But I do have more to discuss on Thursday. :-)

A whole bunch of stuff

2009-06-29T19:04:00.002Z

Yes, sigh, I missed last week. There's been a ton going on here, most of which I'm about to bore you all with, so here we go.

I've been working my butt off on DEMON POSSESSED, and am generally pretty pleased with it. Last week I wrote a bit that genuinely upset me; it's kind of odd to do that, because on the one hand I hope it affects readers the same way, but on the other hand, not so much that they throw the book across the room. I'm really proud of it, though. One of the things I try to do is make sure my characters, in general, behave like adults. I dislike characters who throw whiny little hissy fits over nothing, or fly off the handle over things normal people would just shrug off. So I'm pleased to have (I think, anyway) accomplished that. And of course since I know what happens next I'm more proud than upset, but...yeah, it's weird thinking of what reaction readers might have. It doesn't change how I work--and this particular story arc has been planned since the very beginning--but it is there. (It also feels both cool and odd to be writing scenes I've had in my head since 2006.)

On top of that, we're moving. In a nutshell, the house next door to my mom's was rented. The tenants left. The owner of the house, who is a friend of my mom's, came down to oversee their moving. Hubs and I wandered around the place, loved it, and took it. So we have a new house. At the moment we're renting, as we haven't been back in the country long enough to buy, but early next year we'll be buying it. Which is very odd. So, I have a new house. Our shipment came Wed from England, which was weird--seeing all of our things again was cool, but it was sad too. (Oh, someone asked in response to the UK rights sale post if we would have left England had this happened while we were there. Probably we would have eventually, yes, but not as soon as we did.) Anyway, getting our belongings back was lovely, but of course, there are always problems. A broken candlestick and mixing bowl weren't that big a deal, but the fact that the movers LOST OUR FUCKING TV STAND is. That stand matches our sideboard; they were the first pieces of furniture we bought in England and remain our only truly "good" pieces; solid walnut and wrought-iron. We paid an outrageous (for us) amount for them because we both fell in love with them, and they are of course no longer available. So we're pretty pissed off about that and are waiting to see what the movers can or will do for us.

Aside from that, though, the house is fucking gorgeous and I'm incredibly excited to move in fully, which we will do as soon as we have mattresses.

More things from the last week: You can imagine what I think about the latest stupid RWA scandal. While I appreciate those who want to Change From Within and blah blah blah, I think it's beating the old gray mare. The RWA has become so irrelevant and useless it's a caricature of itself, and I simply cannot fathom why anyone would want to remain a member of a so-called writer's organization that can't be bothered to study the industry even a tiny bit.

And speaking of things which became irrelevant and a caricature of itself...yeah. Michael Jackson died. I don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, the guy basically went insane in the last twenty years or so. He became someone unrecognizeable. Someone I couldn't feel comfortable liking even if he had been producing music I enjoyed; by the time "Bad" came out, in fact, I'd pretty much moved beyond pop music and stopped paying attention. And, you know how I feel about people who abuse children, and whether or not sexual misconduct took place, it is not appropriate to sleep with little kids who are not your own.

But the other night hubs and I were watching VH1. And they played "Thriller" in its entirety. And I started to cry. Because that was so much a part of my childhood. I remember sitting eagerly in front of MTV, waiting for the World Premier of that video. I remember recording it. I remember loving it. I remember owning the album and trying to figure out how to moonwalk. I'd forgotten how good it was, how good he was, how young and talented.

And I couldn't stop thinking that the time to mourn the loss of that man was twenty years ago, not now, but we never did. We never had the chance.

And it made me wonder why some of us (and I'm not including myself in the "Michael Jackson" stratosphere of talent, but people who work in the arts in one way or another, as a whole, which apparently does include me. My agent says I'm creative so I guess it's true) try so hard to destroy that talent and to destroy ourselves. Why that element of self-loathing never seems to go away, and why we embrace it so hard and refuse to let it go and feel good about how it eats us from within. Does everyone feel that way, or are we just bizarre in general?

I had something else to discuss, as well, but I don't remember now what it was. So maybe that will have to wait until Thursday.

News

2009-06-18T16:18:00.003Z

So, remember I said I had some news? And I've been hoping to post it for several weeks? Today's the day.

I am *incredibly* pleased to announce that we've sold UK publishing rights to the first three Downside books (UNHOLY GHOSTS, UNHOLY MAGIC, and CITY OF GHOSTS) to HarperCollins UK!! I'm thrilled to be working with Harper, and I'm especially thrilled the books will be widely available in UK bookstores. I've been informed that UNHOLY GHOSTS is scheduled to be released in November there, same as here, which would be awesome and I'm really hoping it works out that way. I remember having to wait the extra time for a book's UK release, lol, and I hated it! I will of course keep everyone posted as soon as I get new info.

It seems somehow fitting, in a way, as I was living there when I wrote them. And I think there is a lot from that experience in the books. So I'm really, really pleased, and I'm really, really hoping that when they come out or soon after, I can head back out there for a visit. I'd LOVE to do that.

Of course, the irony does not escape me. My agent called me to tell me about this around the first or second week of May; we'd been back in the US for a month or so. NOW we sell UK rights? Sigh. What Agent Man called "a tidy sum" will do us a hell of a lot of good here, but it would have done us a hell of a lot of good there, too. Anyway. Like I said, I'm hoping to head back out at least for a week or ten days or so, so keep your fingers crossed for me?

That's really it for today, I'm afraid. I did have a couple of other things to talk about but they'll have to wait. I got an email solicitation the other day I'm dying to tell you all about with a big helping of rolleye attached, but I am working like a little bee. Rest assured you will hear all about it. And whatever else may come up. Right now the only thing in my head is Megan, and Greyson, and Malleus, Maleficarum, and Spud, and Tera, and the terrible trouble they're all in at this moment. Sigh, the world's about to crash down around their ears. Think I'll manage to make it all right in the end?

Deadline is eating my brain

2009-06-15T16:54:00.004Z

My actual life has pretty much ceased to exist at this point, because all I'm really doing is thinking about, worrying about, planning, or writing DEMON POSSESSED. So, in lieu of post, have a list of the five songs that make me sad and emo and all that stuff. (Inspired by Caitlin Kittredge and Cherie Priest, who have both posted their own lists.)

Five Sad Songs (in no particular order):

1. "Cant' Find My Way Home" by Blind Faith. Oh, man. It's like the emo perfect storm; jangly guitars, falsetto singing, humming. That alone would be depressing enough, but add the lyrics about being wasted and unable to find one's way home--which, you see, is a metaphor for LIFE and how we're all just trying to find our way home, man--and you have a song guaranteed to make me feel sad, lonely, and small. Don't get me wrong, I actually like the song. But there's no doubt it's a buzzkill; if I'm not already depressed it will get me there. (And if I am depressed, it's the perfect accompaniment.)

2. "Gloomy Sunday" by Billie Holiday. Seriously? I cannot believe nobody's mentioned this one yet. "Gloomy Sunday" was actually BANNED from the radio in Hungary (it was written there and originally recorded by someone who was not Billie Holiday) because of the suicides it incited; at least eighteen. In the US it was marketed as "the famous Hungarian suicide song" and at least two people were found dead of suicide with the lyrics in their pocket. Which is no surprise, really, if you've ever heard the song. "The shadows I live with are numberless"? "My heart and I have decided to end it all"? Seriously. Did they give away a free razorblade with the record?

The composer of "Gloomy Sunday" killed himself in 1968.

The website where I found the lyrics offers the song as a ringtone. I doubt it will work with my BlackBerry, but I am totally checking iTunes. Is that wrong of me?

3. "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. Not the hideous cover version that came out a few years ago, that removed all of the raw emotional misery of Gray's version, but this one. The real one. Which is about a man whose life is so awful he's begging someone to play music so he can escape into it and not have to feel anymore. About someone who has nothing to believe in except music, and uses it as a crutch, the way we less emotionally healthy people use alcohol and opiates. I have no idea why Gray wasn't a bigger star; I love his voice, I feel his pain, I think it's a touching song. (What? This is my list, I can say what I want. I know a grown man, who used to deliberately cut himself onstage with his band, who cries when "Just Walk Away Renee" is played. Get your judgy hands off me, man!)

4. "Candle on the Water" by Helen Reddy. Hey, I can't help it; I'm a child of the seventies. This is the incredibly sad love song from Pete's Dragon, for those unfamiliar. We own a Disney CD, for the kiddies; hubs and I practically break each other's fingers in our haste to hit the "skip track" button when this song comes on. It is a lovely song. Reddy has a beautiful voice. But geez...the schmaltz and the Deep Emotion and...oh, I don't even know why. But if I let this one play I'll be sobbing by the end of it. I'm a very sick woman, I think.

5. "Bad Day" by Samiam. Okay, I know. It's kind of unfair including a song by an emo band. But I've always liked Samiam (I saw them in, oh gosh, 1992?). And a lot of their songs are in fact quite cheerful. This one isn't. It starts out with seeing a dog hit by a car and runs into a litany of Bad Things and emotional isolation and how a Smile Would Look Wrong On My Face. If you can't get in touch with your inner self-hating miseryguts while listening to this one...well, you're probably entirely too cheery a person to hang out with me.

So there you go. I do have a much longer list, which includes almost the entire Bob Dylan and later Johnny Cash catalogs, along with some Hank Williams and, of course, Patsy Cline (I dare you to listen to Sweet Dreams and not cry; even if the lyrics don't do it, that voice should, because I honestly believe Patsy was one of the greatest female vocalists--if not the greatest--who ever lived). But it felt a little like cheating to start throwing country music in there. I also didn't put in songs which have been known to make me sad but don't always, like "Angie" by the Rolling Stones or "Long as I Can See the Light" by CCR (which is based on a book, did you know that? A really good book; Moonfleet by J Meade Falkner.) Or any number of blues songs, or "Danny's Song" by Ann Murray (is it supposed to be depressing? Who can tell with Ann Murray? She's a slippery little sucker) or of course the entire long, boring, story-song Dan Fogelberg ouvre, which my parents used to make me listen to, and which makes me cry out of sheer appalled misery that such works were actually recorded and produced. Dan Fogelberg: oh, the humanity.

So. Go forth and produce your own lists now, and I will have news to post on Thursday.

A quick contemplation

2009-06-08T17:56:00.003Z

So I am actually, honestly, in the process of getting a new website up. I spent a chunk of my day yesterday answering all those great questions everyone asked, which was fun.

But several of them made me stop and think, as did a question asked by the web designer herself: What about December Quinn? Where are those books? Are there any new December books coming out?

No. There aren't. At least not now, and not in the near future.

The December website itself is down. Gone. I let the hosting expire (though I still own the domain name and will keep it; I'll point it at the new Stacia site). The Stacia site will have a link to the December page on the Jasmine-Jaid site.

But I don't have any plans to write any more. I haven't written as December in about two years now, actually; although I've had releases in that time, they were books I'd written before. I'm not writing erotic romance, or romance in general, anymore.

That shouldn't be taken as any sort of criticism of romance or erotic romance as a genre, because it isn't at all. I love romance and I loved writing it. And never say never; it's entirely possible I could get an idea for a great romance that I'm desperate to write next week, and get moving on it. But right now, and for the last year or so? No, I just really haven't felt the urge; I haven't been thinking in that direction.

I didn't get bored with writing romance. I didn't make a conscious decision to stop writing romance. I just...stopped. My ideas started going in different directions. My work took a different turn. I started writing something else and found it suited me. I don't know why. Why do we write anything we write, you know? Where do ideas come from? Why does one idea fill us with excitement and another just doesn't?

I have no idea. But I do know that December is pretty much retired. I'm still proud of her and her books, but they're not where I am anymore. One day I may be again, who knows.

It's a little sad for me, but that's life.

Later today or tomorrow I'll be posting another excerpt from DEMON INSIDE.

Things to share with you

2009-06-04T23:31:00.003Z

I think I'm a sharing person. I'm a sharer. It's in my nature.

(Okay, that's total bullshit. I'm like Alex P. Keaton making a sticker for Andy that says "I KNOW WHAT'S MINE." Seriously. I'm just drunk, because we went to dinner at this Greek restarurant that has $5 martinis, and I had the Dulche de Leche martini--OMGfantastic--and the Mai Tai martini, which was also delicious. On an empty stomach. So I am drunk, a bit, and in a loving and giving mood.)

Anyway. There is one thing I am always willing to share, even though I hoard french fries like the Nazis hoarded gold.

Books.

And when I read a book that totally and completely sucks me in, that makes me wish desperately I was part of that world and knew those people, or that stays with me long after I finish it, I share it.

Like Caitlin Kittredge's STREET MAGIC.

I think I've talked about this book before (have I talked about this book before? Because I think I have.)

Here's the thing. STREET MAGIC? SO awesome. Seriously. So awesome. You must read it.

This is the blurb:

Her name is Pete Caldecott. She was just sixteen when she met Jack Winter, a gorgeous, larger-than-life mage who thrilled her with his witchcraft. Then a spirit Jack summoned killed him before Pete’s eyes—or so she thought. Now a detective[MSOffice2] , Pete is investigating the case of a young girl kidnapped from the streets of London. A tipster’s chilling prediction has led police directly to the child…but when Pete meets the informant, she’s shocked to learn he is none other than Jack. Strung out on heroin, Jack a shadow of his former self. But he’s able to tell Pete exactly where Bridget’s kidnappers are hiding: in the supernatural shadow-world of the fey. Even though she’s spent years disavowing the supernatural, Pete follows Jack into the invisible fey underworld, where she hopes to discover the truth about what happened to Bridget—and what happened to Jack on that dark day so long ago…

Sounds good, huh?

But STREET MAGIC is so much more than that, and it's about so much more than that. It's about redemption and darkness. It's about the sexiest mage ever put on paper. It's about secrets and what hides behind people's eyes and about how hard t is to connect with others no matter how hard you try. It's about loneliness and perfection and how we all keep trying to find it but fail. It's about how what appears to be true really isn't, but you know the truth in your heart.

All wrapped up in TOTALLY AWESOME. I got to read this book in ms form some time ago and was totally blown away.
Seriously. THIS is the UF we've been waiting for. This rivals de Lint and Gaiman for sheer kickcassness. No, I'm not joking.

Okay. We all know Caitlin and I are friends. I'm not going to pretend we're not or that I don't have some sort of personal bias here. I love Caitlin, and I think she's a fantastic writer on a technical level, just not a great storyteller.

But guys, you know me. I don't recommend stuff unless I really, honestly and truly think you'll enjoy it, do I?

I have *never* felt so much like recommending a book as I do STREET MAGIC. Go buy it. You won't be sorry.

Um. I also highly recommend Richelle Mead's latest Succubus book, SUCCUBUS HEAT, which I just finished last night. It's excellent. The best Georgina book so far.

Also. Several years ago--I guess about seven now--the hubs and I went to a small local Star Trek con being run by a friend of ours. As we wandered around we saw a man sitting by himself at the end of the signing aisle. We wanted to go talk to him, the hubs especially, as he was a big fan. But the man looked so grumpy, so out of sorts, that we were afraid to. We didn't want to intrude on what was either private unhappiness or just general pissed-offedness. And frankly, the man was charging for autographs and we didn't have any extra cash.

The man was David Carradine, and he died last night in an apparent suicide.

I can't speak to what anyone might be feeling when they take their own life. I won't lie and say I know how it feels, although I won't lie and say I've never been close to that, either, or that I don't know what it is to think about it, to want to do it (you can tell I'm drunk, can't you? I'm Opening Up). But this is horrible. It's a terrible thing. And I don't really have anything else to say about that.

But I do have one other book to recommend, on a similar note. John Green's LOOKING FOR ALASKA. It's a YA; it's about love and loss and the future, and three days after reading it I'm still half-caught in its world. Grab it. You can buy it at the same time as STREET MAGIC.

You won't regret either purchase, I promise.

Edits and stuff

2009-06-01T16:47:00.008Z

Ooooh...and this new coffee I just bought is delicious; Ghirardelli organic Cinnamon Chocolate Almond, especially when I add some French Vanilla creamer to it. Now, I take my coffee black a large percentage of the time--when I drink it, which isn't a lot--so don't jump all over me about my hideous oversweetened tastes. Sometimes I like to try something different, is all. And this stuff is seriously yum. I can happily drink this all day, oh yes.

And why am I drinking so much coffee?

Because work time is upon me.

Today is June 1st. I have thirty days to finish DEMON POSSESSED. So if I am rather scarce for the next month, you know why. I shall try not to be scarce, as I've been so scarce the last few months, but I can't guarantee my presence. Deadlines are deadlines, and I have me one of them.

I'm having fun with it, though. Which is nice. Getting back into the Demons world after so long--it's been almost two years since I've written these characters--was a bit of a challenge at first but once it clicked again, it clicked again, and I'm really enjoying myself. We've had some sweet moments and some funny moments and some sexy moments, and I'm about to start the lead-in into the Moments Which Might Make You Want To Kill Me. Um. Yes, some Bad Things happen in this one. But you must trust me.

Anyway. In the midst of plotting and giggling and worrying, copyedits for the second Downside book arrived; the one which used to be DOWNSIDE GHOSTS and is now UNHOLY MAGIC. Which, btw, is up on Amazon!!

No cover yet--you know I'll share that with you guys as soon as I get it, and I'll post the blurb then as well--but the listing is there, and I'm excited about it.

Especially since...well. I've had a bit of a change of heart about that book. It was my Problem Child before, for several reasons, which I will outline for you now:

* It followed UNHOLY GHOSTS, about which I was more excited than I've ever been about any book I've written

* It followed UNHOLY GHOSTS, which I considered, and still kind of do, to be the best book I've ever written

* It was written while UNHOLY GHOSTS was on submission, and I was terrified it wouldn't sell, which made it hard to write the sequel

* It was the first book I've ever written that required extensive edits (more on that in a minute)

Second books are hard. When you write the first, you have the thrill of discovery; you're creating a whole new world, and whole new people. It's exciting as hell, seriously.

The second? Well. It's still exciting, but that little extra oomph that comes from building a world from the ground up is gone. You're playing in an already-created pond. You're revisiting familiar characters. While that has its own rewards and thrills, they're different. It's awesome to expand the characters and take their stories further. It's awesome to write "what comes next." But it's not as easy as writing the first, at least not for me.

UNHOLY MAGIC was hard to write. It was a second book. It was a second book in a series I wasn't sure was going to sell--I believe I was around 2/3 done with it when we got the first offer--which made me wonder, as I wrote, if there was even a fricking point. And it was heartbreaking, because I was (and still am) so violently, deeply in love with the characters and the world that I couldn't bear to think I might not get to introduce other people to them. I had an agent, and that was extra pressure; what would happen if the book didn't sell? Could I produce something else he'd like as much? Nobody ever talks about how scary it can be to sign with an agent, in that suddenly someone else expects things of you, but it can be a little nerve-wracking.

You all know I'm a pantser, not a plotter. Well. All this stress and worry made UNHOLY MAGIC veer off into odd tangents. It took me something like 13 weeks to write, which is longer than any book has ever taken me. Eeep! It didn't just flow! UNHOLY GHOSTS flowed; I wrote the first draft in seven weeks (well, eight weeks, but for a week of that time we were out of town or I was sick, so techinically it was seven weeks). So if UNHOLY GHOSTS flowed, and I love it so and think it's great, then maybe the non-flowy book is...um, not great?

Things got worse when I got into edits. I ended up cutting over 30k words from that book; a gargantuan amount for someone who rarely cuts more than a few thousand here and there. Whole sections of the book were ripped out, rewritten, and restitched; it was kind of terrifying. I didn't know what I'd written, I was too close to it. Trapped in it. All I could think of was that UNHOLY GHOSTS was good and easy to write, or rather, it came easily and was a deeply exciting challenge, whereas UNHOLY MAGIC was blood, sweat, and tears every step of the way, and not what I'd hoped it would be.

And that is the way I've felt all along. At least until I finished CITY OF GHOSTS, the third book, which true to form I now think is probably just not very good. But UNHOLY MAGIC was the real sticky one, the one I just could not warm up to.

Well. I finished the copyedits last night. It was the first time I've read the book all the way through since...geez, since line edits, seven months or so ago.

And you know what?

I liked it.

I did. The book doesn't suck. It really doesn't! It's pretty good, I think. It held my interest. I didn't want to stop reading it. I found some good lines in it, some writing I was really proud of. Some nice character moments. Some scary bits and sexy bits; I was surprised, actually, by how sexy the sexy bits were.

My point isn't to brag about The Wonders Of Me or to convince you to preorder UNHOLY GHOSTS and UNHOLY MAGIC right now (although, of course, you could. Y'know, if you wanted to). It's not to pat myself on the back. Really.

It's to share a little bit about my editing process and thoughts. And to say that even though I generally hate my work, I do eventually find a place where...I don't. So those of you who also hate your work? You too will probably eventually find a place where you don't.

You are really not necessarily the best judge of your work. I'm not the best judge of mine. My agent, my editors, my cp pals, have been telling me UNHOLY MAGIC is a good book for months, while I frown and bitch and whine and envision readers coming after me with torches and sticks because they hate it so much and I've let them down so horribly.

I feel better about the book now. I think readers will like UNHOLY MAGIC. I think it's a good sequel, it's a good expansion of the story and world; similar enough to work, but different enough that it doesn't feel like a carbon copy or like I'm working from a formula (I'm not, of course.)

So there you go. A full year after writing it, I finally like UNHOLY MAGIC.

CITY OF GHOSTS, on the other hand... Sigh.

Everybody's doing it

2009-05-29T02:42:00.002Z

...so I won't.

Yes, this is inspired in part by my pal (and fellow League member) Nicole Peeler's vlog post over at the League. And of course Mark posted a couple of vlogs at Bitten by Books on Tuesday, the first of which featured about ten seconds' worth of footage of me. (And, btw, just so everyone knows, I adore both Nicole and Mark and think their vlogs are great.)

And that's pretty much all you're going to get. I do not wish to vlog. I do not like the way I look on-camera. I do not like my voice. And really, what in the world am I going to say? Shall I take you on a tour of my bedroom? Drive around town with you? Bake a cake and show it to you? What?

Here's the thing. Perhaps, once again, I am simply bizarre. Because I hate watching videos online. I want to read stuff. I especially hate those video instruction manuals some downloadable or whatever computer programs come with. I don't want to watch a demo, dude. Just write out the fricking instructions so I can read them. That way I can skip the stuff I don't need and get to the stuff I do; I can reread that stuff over and over again if I like. I don't want to wait while the viedo loads. I don't want to listen to somebody drone on and on.

So really, what could I possibly say in a vlog that wouldn't be better if I just wrote it? Aside from me flashing the camera--which will never, ever happen--what possible benefit could there be to me sitting in front of the camera and talking? (My new Mac does have a camera embedded, btw, which is nifty but I can't see using it.)

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Not to mention, as soon as something becomes popular and hip, I confess I lose interest in it. This is a small part of the reason why I never saw Titanic: if everybody else is doing it, it must suck. (This is subjective, of course, as witnessed by the fact that the hubs and I have seen Star Trek twice already.) This is why I don't watch reality TV, really. I used to watch ANTM but stopped in England; is that show even still on?

I freely admit I miss out on some good stuff this way. I also freely admit that I really, really hope this is just another example of my oddness, as I am of course hoping that thousands upon thousands of eager readers, who do not have my weirdo hang-ups, flock en masse to the bookstores to buy my books during their first weeks of release. Please? Seriously. Please.

On a different note, here are three things I'm excited about:

1. News I can't share yet. Hopefully next week.

2. My new website. No, it isn't up and ready yet, but again, hopefully soon. It's going to have some really cool stuff on it, I think, including one thing I'm *very* excited about.

I am also putting together an FAQ for it, so once again, if you have any questions, any at all, please ask them in comments. About me, about the books, about writing...anything!! I just might pick one random questioner to send an Amazon or B&N gift card to, so...seriously, ask me something.

3. The Faerie is one of the world's pickiest eaters (no, I'm not excited about that, keep reading.) We recently decided this business of eating nothing but plain pasta with a little butter, chicken nuggets, fries, yogurt, cookies, and potato chips needed to end. So we've started bribing her, basically; when she uncomplainingly tries a new food, she gets a sticker. Five stickers gets her a small toy. It has worked delightfully. She is now a fan of macaroni & cheese, hot dogs, fruit cups, and Chef Boyardee. No, we can't keep doing it forever, and we won't, but at least it has opened her picky little mind and she isnow more willing to give things a go.

With that in mind we bought a chart today at the teacher's supply store and had it laminated. We're putting both girls on a sticker system for various behavior-related things (Princess will get cash bonuses for certain above-and-beyond chores, and we will use the stickers to keep track). So, it should be interesting, and hopefully fun, and will make life easier.

2009-05-26T16:06:00.005Z

First, yes, I didn't post yesterday because of the holiday. It still feels weird to celebrate US holidays (I got so used to sitting around half the day wondering where everyone was, then remembering it was Memorial Day/Labor Day/MLK Day), but we did; we grilled burgers and hot dogs with my mom and her husband, and a good time was had by all.

Afterwards we sat around on the screened porch discussing all sorts of things. I specifically recall a long period of discussion about Wallis Simpson and Nazis, in which the hubs and I talked about our honeymoon visit to the Imperial War Museum in London. (If you ever have a chance, you really should go; it's a very cool museum.) Our general agreement, unsurprisingly, was that both Wallis and the Nazis were Very Bad.

Of course, the day did set me seriously behind on my wordcount. But sometimes it's important to sit around with family. Especially when part of that sitting around is remembering the people who fought and died for us, and why.

But cooking in someone else's kitchen is weird, isn't it? You don't know where anything is, and you keep reaching for things--your trusty wooden spoon, your favorite pan, a specific seasoning or spice--that aren't there. It can put one a bit out of sorts. I always feel like everyone is watching me when I try to cook in someone else's kitchen. It's generally fun to do, but still. I miss my own kitchen. I really miss all my cooking tools and things, which are not expected to arrive for another few weeks; not to mention we have no home to put them in. They'll all go into storage, but at least at that point we'll be able to go there, open a box at random, and actually touch them. Ahh.

It's especially hard because the house has satellite TV. Which means there's like a million channels, large numbers of which are either sports or infomercials. Point being, the only channel I know by number so far is The Food Network. And so that is what I have been watching, pretty much nonstop. The Food Network. Which I do love; I mean, there's always something on the Food Network, right? It may not be the greatest show, but it's something. So it's on almost all the time, and it's making me want to cook. Which you all know I like doing, at least most of the time.

But in the main it's nice background noise. Something I can tune out while I type, but when I glance up there's invariably something interesting happening.

Sometimes I listen to music when I write. It works especially well when I'm stuck, but not as well when the words are flowing. I either don't hear the music at all, which is more likely, or I stop to listen to a particular song and lose the flow.

Okay. One other thing:

Mark Henry is over at Bitten by Books today, doing some video-blogging and hanging out with readers. Pop on over there for some fun.

But before you do, tell me. What do you have on in the background? Does it change according to what you're doing?

Agents = People. Not fish.

2009-05-21T16:12:00.002Z

Okay, okay. I know it's a figure of speech. I know people use it all the time. And I know they use it for different reasons, and that I could very well be the only weirdo who sees it this way (hey, wouldn't be the first time).

But it drives me nuts when I see people posting or blogging or whatevering about "landing an agent."

I'm not sure why the phrase gets under my skin so much. It just feels...braggardly (a word I coined on Twitter last night. Feel free to use it. Someone else probably invented it first but I'm taking credit, at least until they step forward).

Seriously? I picture a writer posing for one of those Prize-Marlin pictures, with the hapless agent suspended by a large hook, a dribble of blood down his or her chin and wide, staring, frightened eyes. It's just not a good image, guys. It kind of creeps me out.

And here's the thing. Landing a fish implies a sort of physical battle; a test of wills between the fish and the fisherman. It implies mastery over a wild thing; that a contest of strength and endurance was entered into and victory was achieved. Getting an agent, or interesting an agent, or signing with an agent? Not remotely like that.

Now, I do see the analogy. I do. Querying agents can feel like a test of endurance, certainly. And it does require some strength. It's tough to send out those letters and not know what will come back. It's tough to get rejections from people you really thought you'd like to work with, people who you really thought would "get" you and your work. It can be exhausting. It can be soul-crushing. And while I am, as you know, a member of the "suck it up" school, I do understand and remember how hard it is, and how it feels when you think this book you love so much, this book you really think is special, isn't going to go anywhere or do anything. Yes. It hurts. (I just don't think we need to talk about it.)

But querying agents isn't You Vs. Agent. It isn't, any more than finding a mate is You Vs. Them. (Which is another phrase I hate, for basically the same reasons: "catching" a husband. Hardly anybody says it anymore, because it sounds so silly and antiquated. Something to think about, huh? Anyway. "Catching" a husband makes it sound as though I set up a snare in the woods and waited in the bushes with a club and a wedding ring for some hapless guy to wander along and step into my trap. It just sounds...ech.) When you date, you're looking for the Right Fit.

And so are the other people.

You don't hear agents talking about "landing" a new client, do you? (I certainly never have.) No. They sign new clients. There's no implication that they have somehow Mastered The Wild in finding a new writer to represent.

It just presents an image I dislike. I didn't "land" my agent. I didn't haul him onto the deck of my pontoon boat and gut him while he gasped and writhed. I don't look at what happened that way. I don't see the getting of agents as me setting some kind of pheromonal Venus Flytrap and hoping an agent would blunder into it. I don't see myself as being some kind of victor, the Teddy Roosevelt of Big-Agent Hunting, with heads mounted on my wall.

(Someone on Twitter last night mentioned this in relation to record contracts, like how bands are said to "land" a record deal. But it doesn't bother me so much in that instance. Why? Because record contracts, being printed paper agreements and service deals, are not human either.)

I adore euphemism. I love the images words can create. It's fun, and exciting. And yes, "landed an agent" can be a very vivid one. But it's also one that implies some sort of trickery, a painful struggle in which an unwilling victim is finally brought down through force of will and heavy fishing line. And it just grates on me when I hear it used in reference to agents or other human beings. It sounds a little pretentious, a little braggy (or braggardly, if you like).

It's just a pet peeve. Take it as you will.

Several thoughts on several things

2009-05-18T15:24:00.002Z

So here we are, trying to get back in the groove. The third Demons book is due July 1st, which means Some Serious Work Ahead for me.

But, it also occurred to me yesterday that it's May. Which means it's almost June, which means it's almost summer, which means it's almost time for another Summer Series. (My typo almost led me to write "It's almost sumer," which would imply a superagricultural Mesopotamian event about to occur, but no.)

Which means I have to decide to what subject to dedicate at least part of my summer blogging. Any suggestions? What would y'all like to hear me blather about? I doubt it will be quite as involved and lengthy as the Strumpet series--remember, July 1st deadline--but if the topic is meaty enough I'll simply delay it until after said deadline has passed, when I have a bit more time.

(I haven't forgotten my plans to expand last summer's Strumpet series and turn it into a PDF, by the way. Look for that by the end of the summer, too, as part of my new website.)

I feel all disoriented still. It's weird but great to be back, but it's also hard to settle back into a routine. At least, a routine other than the "Watch 'Good Eats' in bed every night on DVD" one we've got going here. I do love Good Eats, though. We also have several seasons of The Office (US) to catch up on, as only the first two have been shown in the UK (I think--that's all we've seen, anyway).

What else? I had several topics to discuss when I started this post (hence the title) but it all seems to have disappeared into the ether. Sigh. Perhaps part of my problem is that, while I'm digging the Mac, I'm finding web-surfing more difficult than it was. Not because there's a problem--sort of--well, okay. Here's the thing. When I type a web address in the address bar, it isn't saved there in Safari like it was in IE. This is how I used to flit around the net; I had several addys up there and the rest in my Bookmarks. Now I don't have my Bookmarks and I don't have a drop-down address list thingie, so I have to manually type the addresses in, which sucks. Any advice?

Oh, and here's something interesting. Moviegoods.com has done a list of the 100 Sexiest Movie Posters--at least, according to them. The hubs and I strongly disagree with some of their choices; it appears in at least a few cases they're looking at it in a "Half-naked woman automatically=Sexy" way, or going for one with a famously sexy actress on it rather than an actual sexy poster. (We also feel it's a bit of a cheat to include Bond movie posters, because, duh.) What do you think, if you feel like following the link and taking a look?

Goodness this is a dull post. I apologize, everyone. I will be back up to snuff soon. My mind is otherwise engaged at the moment; I'm still not sure how happy I am with my revised version of CITY OF GHOSTS, and what to do about that. Everyone else (that is, my editor, Caitlin, and Psynde) likes the book and says it's great; they liked it even before the revisions that I think made it better. But I can't help but think of what it *could* have been.

Yes, I know this is in large part simply how I work. And how a lot of others work. I love my books for the first 30k words or so. After that I generally think they're garbage. Rereading them usually assuages that, but...it's not really happening for me anymore. The last three of my books that I've read I have not particularly liked, or rather, I haven't felt they were anywhere near good enough. Perhaps this is because I know they're going out into the world, into (hopefully!) the hands of people who actually paid money for them? People who will be justifiably angry if they buy the books and find they're a jumble of incomprehensible mess? (Intellectually I know the books are not a jumble of incomprehensible mess. But still.)

I suppose it's better to think of lots of people buying and hating them, than of nobody buying them at all. Neither brings me much joy, though.

Oh, and by the way, the second Downside book is now called UNHOLY MAGIC. That is the permanent title. CITY OF GHOSTS, which has been through quite a few title changes, is officially CITY OF GHOSTS again. So, the first three books in the series are officially:

UNHOLY GHOSTS
UNHOLY MAGIC
CITY OF GHOSTS

And I will have back cover copy for UNHOLY MAGIC pretty soon.

Now I've whined long enough.

Trying to get back to normal

2009-05-14T14:52:00.002Z

Or at least, normal for me.

I intend to get back to my regular Mon/Thurs blogging schedule starting today. Of course, I am also on serious deadline for the third Demons book, but I do intend to try. (I did tell y'all we had a deal for the third Demons book, didn't I? Because, um, we do. But I'm pretty sure I mentioned it already.)

We've had a pretty eventful few weeks, we have. Being in Miami again was...interesting. Good, but strange. It felt weird to be Just Visiting in a place where we'd lived for so long. At the same time it was awesome to drive around and know exactly where we were at all times, and to go to all our old haunts--or most of them, anyway, as to our horror we found a restaurant we used to visit weekly had closed. We made up for it with countless Target visits. :-)

We were offered the opportunity to stay in Miami, in fact. And oh, how we considered it. Time softened the edges of our old hatred for South Florida; that happened before we returned to the US. A while ago we watched "Stephen Fry's America," which was a really good BBC special in which Stephen Fry drove around the US in a converted old-style English taxi. Good show. He drove down to Miami, and it was hysterical, actually; a minute-long shot of him behind the wheel with his lip curled, saying "Well, this is just...horrible. It's all gray and awful, the people are terrible, this is a hellhole." Hubs and I laughed, but...yeah, maybe Miami is a hellhole, but it was OUR hellhole, and being away from it for so long made us realize that deep down we love the place. Really, truly love it, hurricanes, flying hand-sized roaches, and all.

But sadly, that doesn't mean it's the best place for us to live at the moment. Rents and the cost of living in general are very high, so high it would have made life difficult. The schools aren't the greatest--or rather, they aren't in the areas we could afford to live in--and that is obviously a big concern when e have two little ones. The friends and family we have down there are all planning on getting out, and in one case did while we were down there; a great pal of ours had a fantastic opportunity in another place, and took it, and the timing just happened to be such that we only got to see him twice before he left.

We also got to go to the Mai Kai, which is this huge awesome Polynesian restaurant with killer cocktails. They do a live show, too, but we'd seen it already so didn't watch. We just ate and drank and had a great time.

But the point is, much as we've realized we love South Florida, it just doesn't feel like the right place for us now. We said we'd give Atlanta a try and we decided we need to stick to that. So here we are. With our fingers crossed that we didn't just shoot ourselves in the foot.

I am also now using a Mac. Interesting. I like it so far. :-)

Also, we saw STAR TREK. OMG fucking awesome. Seriously. If you haven't seen it you need to go. NOW. In fact, I'll go with you, as we're already scheming when we get to see it again. I honestly can't remember the last time I had that much fun at a movie. And I've seen enough TREK that I caught all the inside jokes, I believe, but even if I hadn't or didn't I would still have had a blast. The funny thing is, the movie had what I always thought was missing from the original series and most of the later ones (with the exception of DS9, which is my favorite of the series): sex and humor. They were both in the film. Yay! (Yes, I know all the series had their sex/humor moments. But not enough for me.)

Also at the theater, in addition to my large popcorn (OMGpopcornhowImissedyourdeliciousness) we tried those new mini Hershey's Kisses, the candy-coated ones? Delicious!

I realize this post doesn't really offer a lot of value, and I apologize. But hopefully we'll be back on track soon.

Oh, and just to give some kind of writing-related info, I have also done the following in the last couple of weeks:

1. Reviewed galleys for DEMON INSIDE (second Demons book)

2. Reviewed galleys for UNHOLY GHOSTS (first Downside book)

3. Completed first editor-led revision on CITY OF GHOSTS (Third Downside book). Still needs some fine-tuning before I hand it back in but in general I'm happy with it. Word count at the moment is around 109k; I anticipate it will stay around there.

4. Started DEMON POSSESSED (Third Demons book).

Am I Caught Up Yet?

2009-04-29T14:18:00.009Z

Um...no. I shudder to think of all I've missed and am still missing, sigh. But I am at the moment back in Miami--well, just outside Miami--and having a great time at my BFF's house. Which is pretty cool. Yesterday we visited our old comic shop which was exciting; they've expanded! And we got a very warm welcome, which was awesome.

I should probably discuss RT but to be perfectly honest most of it is just a blur at this point and everyone else has been talking up their experiences anyway. I got to meet everyone--well, I'd already met Caitlin several times of course, but everyone else. That was seriously cool. And they're just how I expected them to be. Twitter followers are already aware of the hell that was the pirate dinner theater, and of the copious amounts of booze which found its way down our respective throats. I am still trying to get my voice back after straining to be heard over the noise everywhere, but it's cool. I think I actually sound kind of sexy.

Some highlights, well, everything pretty much was a highlight--except the serious lack of accessible internet at that hotel--but these things stand out:

Okay, technically this is not RT, but. The hubs and I took the girls to Disneyworld the day before RT. Disney anything is so not my thing, but I managed to amuse myself for the most part by smoking, wishing for booze, and giving dirty looks. But one thing did cheer me up. Outside the Pirates ride there's a booth where they carve rings. We got them for Princess (who has an unusual name so whenever we find something we can personalize for her, we do) and Faerie. But the rings are rather delicate, so not for me... Until I saw the chunky MAN rings. And had a thought.

Yes. I am now the owner and proud wearer of the world's most awesome, tacky badass ring: a big chunky silver one that says KANE. I know. You all want one too. There are many like it--or I'm sure there will be--but this one is mine. And yes, it fucking rocks.

Also visited the Small World ride for the first time ever, which was surprisingly not as bad as I thought, but that might be because I never had a bad trip to flashback on in there.

Then came RT, and the great stuff was...

Hanging out with Caitlin again. I can't believe I won't see her again until September. Also got to meet Richelle Mead, which was really cool, and Jackie Kessler, whose boys are marrying my girls. And of course got to hang with Kaz Mahoney a bit again, which was great.

Dakota Cassidy. She smolders, baby. And is awesome.

Mark Henry was, of course, just as funny and cool and everything as I thought he would be, and he and his wife are cute as buttons together.

Michelle Rowen, Miriam Kriss, and I almost peed ourselves laughing at the pirate dinner theater.

I got to meet my CP, finally!! Unfortunately Anna wasn't feeling very well, so I felt bad trying to drag her out to places or to hang with me at the bar. I did have a great time smack-talking her when I signed copies of Demon's Triad--like "The best parts of this book are mine," etc.--but she wasn't feeling up to reciprocating. Or perhaps she just knew there was no point, muahahaha.

Also got to hang out with Christine D'Abo and Carole Nelson Douglas, which was totally fun.

Mario Acevedo is so awesomely bloodthirsty. It totally turned me on.

Had a GREAT evening chatting with Patrice Michele and Jeri Smith-Ready, both of whom are just awesome, fascinating, great people.

Honestly, I met so many cool people I'm afraid to mention them all would just take forever. Michelle Bardsley. Jeanne Stein. LA Banks HUGGED ME. Sat next to EC author Stephanie Julian at the signing and had a great time chatting, in between talking to actual readers! People who bought my books! Some people brought their own copies for me to sign which was really amazing. Also had a great little chat with Tina Burns from Loose-Id and met Angela James from Samhain, in addition to getting a big old hug from Raelene Gorlinsky; all three of them were interviewed here on the blog in summer 07, if you recall, so it was especially neat. I felt like a mover and shaker, y'all.

And I have to go to Target now, and force myself not to get a big whipped-cream-covered Frappucino at the Target Starbucks. I am having some serious trouble keeping my diet with all the yummy food around. So far I'm being pretty good, but the temptation to go crazy with the peanut butter M&Ms and the Lay's potato chips and Chips Ahoy and Papa John's and Wendy's and everything else is pretty bad. Not to mention all the things I could bake, or the ice cream, or the restaurants... Sigh. I have to keep reminding myself of the new small clothes I bought.

But I am having a great time. :-)

Here I Am!

2009-04-20T02:01:00.002Z

Sort of.

No, I'm not really back back. I'm still travelling--currently in Orlando, and will be at RT as you know--but I wanted to pop in and say hi anyway.

Some highlights of the last couple of weeks (if you want to call them "highlights"):

1. Incredibly rough sea crossing. Everyone got sick but me. I was very proud of that until I got horribly sick the day after arrival (more on that in a minute).

2. I did meet a couple of lovely German ladies on the boat, though. We smoked and chatted quite a bit.

3. Felt disoriented on arrival in NYC. Had trouble getting my land legs. Hmm.

4. Awesome lunch with awesome editor. Even more awesome meeting with awesome Del Rey people. I felt like I was making a big chatty idiot of myself but they were nice anyway. Proceeded on to dinner with other awesome editor. Had great time. Thought was quite drunk but realized as time went on that not only had I not actually had that much to drink--comparatively speaking--but had also downed enormous quantities of water and quite a bit of food. Began to wonder if drunken feeling was not in fact delerium, as floor had not stopped moving since got off boat.

5. Sick as a DOG. Oh, yes. Stomach flu time. Had to cancel lunch with agent. Had to cancel pre-lunch lunch with editor pal. Had to cancel after-lunch meeting at Pocket. Had to cancel dinner with agent pal. Spent entire day thinking I was probably about to die. No, seriously. I was sweaty. I was shivering. I was extremely ill. Couldn' keep anything down. Horrible.

6. Left NY, still felt sick.

7. Virginia. OMG what a gorgeous state.

8. Witnessed accident right in front of us in SC. Was totally one guy's fault. Gave statement to awesome, manly sherrif.

9. Couple of days in Atlanta. Finally felt better yesterday, which was Saturday for those keeping rack. Told you I was sick.

10. TARGET!! MOUNTAIN DEW!! WENDY'S!!

11. Headed to FL today. Saw PT Cruiser inferno on side of highway. Seriously. Big ball of flame. Ack!

12. Florida!! How I missed you. I hated you when I lived here but still.

...and that's basically it so far. I'll try to check in more often now, since I have a power adapter for my laptop.

2009-04-14T13:00:00.000Z

Recommend A Book

2009-04-06T10:41:00.003Z

Okay!

As I type there's a very nice man packing up all our DVDs, and of course the Faerie is insisting on helping him hold the boxes shut and tape them up. :-)

So. A few weeks ago I posted about sameness in urban fantasy, and mentioned that I was considering opening up the blog periodically to book recommendations. The response was fairly enthusiastic, so here you go.

Recommend a book. One you loved. One you think other people might love. Any author, any type of story. Talk to each other about books; what you like, what you look for, what you don't.

I won't be here to keep an eye on things, so...I'm sure I don't have to tell you guys to be nice and polite.

I'm also sure I don't have to tell you that this thread is for READERS to make recommendations. If you're a writer, you're also a reader. Recommend somebody else's book if you like.

I'm also sure I don't have to tell you that my regular readersknow each other, and know who they are. And that through their other internet wanderings they know other readers, and who they are. Quite frankly, if you're a self-published author leaping in to do drive-by promo, you're wasting your time. Seriously. Please don't do that.

Okay, all. Have fun; I hope you do, and I hope you find something new and useful, and I hope you all participate.

I'll try and pop in when I can. Hugs to you all!

***Late breaking addition!!! Demon's Triad, the superdirty erotic paranormal novel Anna J. Evans and I wrote together, is now in print!! We'll be signing this book at the Romantic Times convention; here's your chance to get a copy ahead of time! Be aware, though; the warning on the listing is ACCURATE. This is a very dark book, and may not be everyone's cup of tea; m/m content, f/f content, sexual violence, non-gratuitous incest and rape...Seriously, guys. I think it's an awesome book but it is intense.***

I think about stuff

2009-04-02T10:18:00.003Z

Okay, lots of stuff to cover and get through and all of that.

First, the other day I cam across this cool blog/site called Best Fantasy Books.com. Another site had a link to this post about ARCs and reviews that I thought was really interesting.

Most of my thoughts on the subject are covered in my comment, which is the fifth comment down:

I think the disconnect comes from something I’ve seen a lot, which is the idea that reviews are written for the gratification of authors, or solely in order to provide them with pretty shiny quotes they can put on their websites and blogs. But they’re not. Reviews are for readers, plain and simple.

And more than that, reviews don’t sell books if the books aren’t readily avilable either. I might see an enthusiastic review somewhere. I might then jot down the title of the book and look for it on Amazon or next time I go to the bookstore. But when I do those things, I’m looking for something to read THEN. If the bookstore doesn’t have it I’ll grab something else. If Amazon or B&N.com or Borders or whatever is going to have to order it for me and I’ll have to wait three weeks or six weeks for it, I might very well not buy it then either, especially if I have the money in hand and don’t know if I will when the book ships and I’m charged for it. Or heck, I don’t know I’ll get the book at all.

A really, really stellar review for a book that speaks to a very specific interest of mine might inspire me to go the extra mile. But in general, if the book isn’t readily available, I’ll buy something else. Reviews are for readers, to help them choose books at the store. While it’s always fun to get a shiny quote, and it’s always nice to see small-press books get some attention and reviews, the fact remains that if the book isn’t available there’s little point.

See, here's the thing. I'm pretty sure that the good reviews Personal Demons got contributed directly to the nice level of sales the book had; certainly it sold more than I'd expected it would. But that's also because those reviews were backed up by the book being available in stores. The book had a professional (if small) publisher, with professional distribution that got it on the shelves. So when people read one of those nice reviews, they could go to the store and buy the book. In that sense the reviews were extremely helpful.

But they were also legitimate reviews. Well-written reviews, which stated what the reviewer liked or did not like. Those ego-stroke reviews you see vanity press authors giving each other in a big, sloppy, "This book is the most wonderful thing ever, it totally swept me away and I couldn't put it down" circle-jerk? Useless. You think readers don't see through those things? Of course they do. Readers by definition are not stupid; they read.

But I do seem to see more and more the attitude the Best Fantasy Books gentleman describes: entitlement. I sent you a free book, so you owe me a review. More than that, you owe me a good review. If you read any of the review blogs or websites you'll see this more and more; reviewers being harrassed by authors, called names, yelled at, argued with, all because they either did not review or did not like the book in question.

This is an unprofessional attitude, frankly. Nobody owes you shit.

Which brings me to Agentfail.

Here's what bugs me about things like Agentfail. It's a great idea. It could be a really useful and informative discussion. Instead, it ends up becoming much like the last discussion the lovely BookEnds ladies (I really like them, and their blog; I had occasion to deal with Ms. Faust back when I was querying Personal Demons and was left with nothing but positive impressions); a gang of unagented writers complaining--raging--about the query process, with such viciousness it makes the stomach churn.

And in doing so they obscure the legitimate points that have been or might be made. The "No response=no" policy, for example. I don't have a problem with it. I never have. I certainly don't understand why it inspires such fury in people, or why they feel entitled to a response from people they don't know. If I send JK Rowling a fan letter, I don't expect that she's going to respond to me. Just like if I send the guy who lives two streets over a letter asking if he'd like to meet for a drink, I don't expect him to respond to me. Because neither of them owe me shit. Why would you not only expect that a total stranger go out of his or her way to speak to you, but then get angry because they don't use your name and include a few lines about how special you are?

Yes, I know the agent/querier situation is different. It's a potential business relationship. Okay, then. Here's an example. When we were planning our wedding I bought a box of chocolates. The company who made the chocolates was a small company that apparently does custom work as well. I emailed them and asked if they would be interested in making chocolates for my wedding. They never replied.

Oh, well.

I didn't feel the need to burn them at the stake. I didn't feel the need to start spreading their name all over the internet because how dare they IGNORE me when I sent them an unsolicited email for a job which did not interest them.

Here's the thing, guys, and I know it might be hard to believe but it's true. When your project is sellable, agents will respond. It really is that simple, and I knew that two or three years ago, long before I started seriously querying. If you're not getting replies, it's because nobody's interested, and while that's tough to deal with it is the simple truth.

That isn't to say I approve of "no reply=no" as a policy, or rather, I don't have a problem with it but do think agents who have that policy should set up an auto-responder for their email so the querier knows the thing was received. It's not hard and it saves everyone a lot of trouble.

But again, that reasonable request--have an auto-responder--gets lost under piles and piles of "You're not giving me feedback/you're not using my name/you're not calling me up to say hello/how dare you ask me to write your name on the query and then send me a form reply," comments, couched in combative and abusive language.

I realize I look at this from a different perspective now. Quite frankly, I want my agent reading the stuff I send him and working on deals for me, rather than spending extra time giving feedback to people he doesn't represent. Every minute he spends on that is a minute during which he could be doing something for me. Sorry, but it's true. I (and all his other clients) pay him 15% to work for me, to read my submissions and work on them, to vet my contracts, to use his connections on my behalf.

You, on the other hand, do not pay him a dime to query him. Which means, to put it bluntly, I'm paying his salary during the time in which he's reading and responding to your queries.

Don't get me wrong. I don't mind this. I don't even think of it this way; I'm just using this as an example of how my view of it is different now, and why agents handle queries the way they do (because it's first and foremost in their mind, as well, or at least it should be; clients should be the priority). I don't begrudge the time it takes for him to handle his queries--or do things for his other clients--and I don't know a single writer who does. But again, I never thought I was entitled to anything from an agent. I never thought I deserved feedback (although again, I agree that a personalized response on requested materials--at least on fulls requested after partials--would be nice).

My point isn't that writers don't have the right to complain or be upset or hate the way things work or be irritated or have opinions. My point is that when the opportunity comes up to discuss issues in which agents could handle things differently or better, the anger doesn't do anyone any good. The sheer hatred permeating that thread, leaking from my laptop screen in a choking mist...does nothing to make the points expressed look better or more valid. It just makes it easier to dismiss all of the comments and complaints as the frustrated rantings of a mob of wannabes.

And it's depressing.

Okay. Moving on. Yes, we leave here next week; the movers are coming on Monday. My Monday post will be a short one; I'm going to open the blog to book recommendations from all of you, and I'm hoping that you'll all have a great discussion while I'm away, so please, link to the post, tell your pals, whatever you want to do. (Or don't, in which case I'll just feel unpopular and unloved because nobody's commenting on my thread.)

I'm not sure what my internet access will be. I will try. Later today or tomorrow I'm going to try and download Twitberry (or Tweetberry, whichever it is; I have it written down somewhere) so I can Tweet from my phone. So if that works, you'll still be able to follow me on Twitter.

I am able to update my Facebook page from the phone already, so if I don't manage to stop in here, and you're not on Twitter or whatever, you can check in there if you like.

(BTW, yes, I am fully aware that your lives will move on exactly as before while I'm away from the internet, and that it's not like my absence--or at the very least, very sporadic presence--for the next month or so is going to cause a huge gaping hole in the internet from which no one will recover until I return. :-) But A) it makes me feel better to list this stuff, as I then feel as if I have some control over the move and all the Big Scary Changes; and B) some of those who follow me or keep up with me in various places online are real-life friends or family members who might reasonably be expected to want to keep tabs on me and make sure I'm safe and sound.)

Turned in the final draft--or rather, my final draft--of the third Downside book yesterday. Final word count: 105,761. New title (yes, another one): GHOST BOUND.

We're currently looking for a new title for the second book; we want to change the title structure up a bit with the second book rather than doing it suddenly with the third. Still want the word GHOST in there if possible. I know you guys don't know much about the story or characters, and I'm not going to tell you because that would be a big old spoiler, but make some suggestions anyway, huh? Maybe it will spark something, who knows.

Goodness this is a long post! And I could have sworn I had something else to talk about too, but I don't remember it.

More on UF as a genre

2009-03-30T11:43:00.004Z

Okay, a couple of quick things first:

First, and most importantly. Last night I noticed Mrs. Giggles--whom you all know I adore--linked to my Jade Goody entry and wrote an excellent and very informative post about Pap smears and the types of cells/cell abnormalities found in them. It's well worth a read; great information there. But more importantly, Mrs. G. makes a point that I neglected to make: whether or not you are sexually active, you should be getting your pap smears annually. I don't care if you're a nun, once you reach a certain age--Mrs. G suggests 18--you need to do them. And she is 100% correct. I'm ashamed that I didn't mention this myself. Please...get the test, whether you're having sex or not. I need you to live so you can buy my books. :-) (No, seriously, buy my books or don't, but get the test. It could be the most important thing you ever do.)

Second, this will be my last bloggy-type blog post for a while. Thursday I'm just going to post some scheduling/update things and possible freak out a bit more. Next Monday the movers are coming; I will probably pop in for a very quick post, as I plan to open the blog to reader recommendations, which I'd like to start doing once every few months. After that we'll be in transit for the next few weeks.

Third, we had a lovely time in London this weekend. Got to meet up with fellow writer, the excellent Kaz from lj, and have a couple of drinks on Friday night, and share some giggles and gossip. Unfortunately, thanks to the vagaries of the transit system on Sundays, I did NOT get to see my friend Yeyo from lj, which I'm very unhappy about; she's been a good friend to me for almost seven years, and I'm heartbroken that I didn't get to say goodbye to her and her wonderful hubby in person. But we did get to the British Museum and the Natural History museum, and to just be in London one more time; I do love London. Sigh.

Okay. Remember my post about UF as a genre, and how it's changing? I had no idea when I wrote it that the post would be such a big deal; it's still getting comments and was actually quoted in an NPR interview with Mario Acevedo, which was pretty exciting.

Anyway. Like I said it's still getting comments, and I want to address a couple of those here in a new post.

First, a very nice lady posted the URL to her UF/paranormal mystery Yahoo group, which I haven't joined yet but fully intend to. At the time she posted they had over 400 members, all avid readers. So groups like that are, IMO, great places to join and be a part of, in addition to reading blogs like Urban Fantasy Land (of course!) and Bitten by Books, or livejournal groups like Urban Fantasy Fans. (And please, if you belong to or know of another fan/reader community, leave it in comments!)

Second, I had quite a few comments about the level of sex in UF, or where the line is between paranormal romance and UF. This is a really interesting question for me, because I know the Demons books come pretty close to straddling that line. In my mind they're UF, because although the Megan/Greyson relationship is a big part of the first book (and figures prominently in future books), ultimately the book is about Megan vs. the Yezer & the Accuser. She has to defeat the Accuser on her own. It's about her and her story and how she changes, and the second is the same.

The Downside books are definitely UF. There is some romance and some sex--I'm going to get to the sex part in a minute--but ultimately Chess solves the mystery and Chess has to fight the bad guys, every time. She may get a little help from her friends, and she may fall in love along the way, and she may deal with a lot of issues related to her sexual or relationship choices, but in the end it's just her doing what she has to do. And the romantic subplot stuff is a much smaller part of the books on the whole (with the possible exception of the third book, which it looks like we now might be calling SPELLBOUND GHOSTS.)

Now, one of the most recent comments the entry got was this:

I hate picking up a UF (and sometimes a SFF novel) and finding a thinly veiled romance. I am simply not into romances as a rule and really don't care to read about someone having teh hawt sexxorz.
While I appreciate that people head in the UF direction precisely because of the copious sex and romance, it is not for me. I have even taken to picking up a book in the store and skimming page by page counting the sex scenes and considering the length of the scene. 0-1 is ideal, up to 3 dependent on the length and detail. Anything above that is an automatic 'no'. I have no problems with relationships, searching, acquiring, troubles and what not. It can provide interest. I like things to be a bit more realistic than the standard romance instant lurv. I just wish books were better labeled. I have picked up novels listed as paranormal romances and found a great story with little to no sex and a more or less realistic approach to relationships. I have also picked up books labeled Scifi, fantasy or fiction with more insta-lurv and sex than a skin-a-max late night movie marathon. Hence the page by page skimming in the store. This is not to say that I haven't purchased books with, in my opinion, too much sex, I have. The story just has to be very good and I can just flip past the areas that to me, aren't important. These are very rare. I do have to laugh at myself though, wanting realistic relationships in novels which have nothing to do with reality.

I was going to reply to this in the comments but it interested me so much I thought it would be a good separate entry in itself.

First, I've gotten a few comments along the lines of "There's too much sex for me." And what troubles me about it--one of the things, anyway--is the way the commenter always seems to feel kind of sheepish about it, or like they expect to be attacked. Guys, there is no reason in the world why anyone, anywhere, should have to apologize for their reading tastes. Never. Ever. (Unless you like reading kiddie porn or something, of course.) But just because you don't want to read erotica? You have every right not to read erotica if you don't want.

I'm kind of the opposite, because I won't buy a romance if there's no sex scene and I'll skim in the store for that. :-) If there's no sex it goes back on the shelf. And I don't apologize for that. As readers of The Strumpet Series know, I believe sex scenes are important; I outlined my reasons in this entry specifically. In a nutshell, though, they are that I believe sex scenes--if well-written--show us something about the characters and their relationship that we couldn't see any other way, that they are fulcrums on which entire plotlines and character arcs can shift, and that leaving them out in essence hides things from the reader and leaves them out of important parts of the story.

But let's be honest. Not every sex scene is going to do that. They should, but they don't always. And let's be honest too, some readers just don't find them interesting or appealing. I think that's a shame, because I believe a well-written sex scene is a thing of beauty and adds a lot to a story, but I would never tell anyone they HAVE to read them if they don't like them.

But I do think this points to the other thing which troubles me, and it's one where I think those blogs and groups I linked to above can help. Because UF is a fairly new genre--which is to say, it's been around for a long time but has just gelled into "UF," everyone seems to have a different idea of what exactly it is. There are people who believe UF is exclusively first-person heroines, for example. There are people who believe that if a human is in love with a paranormal creature, it's a paranormal romance no matter how much or how little of the book is devoted to the relationship.

So it's hard to label the books correctly. It's hard to know exactly where to look and what to look for. I've seen a few people who feel PERSONAL DEMONS is a paranormal romance rather than UF.

The thing is, what used to define genre romance was the HEA--the Happily-Ever-After ending. That separated romance from anything else. But now there are books sold as romance that don't have it. There are books sold as UF that do.

And the level of sex isn't really a good indicator of genre either, as the commenter pointed out. PD has one sex scene; DEMON INSIDE has two. UNHOLY GHOSTS and the further Downside books have at least one each; two at the most. Because I do believe they're important; they're part of the story. But PD skirts the line of paranormal romance whereas UG doesn't at all, I don't think.

All of which is a rather long and convoluted way of saying this is a complex issue, and one that will probably get more so as time goes on, which is why groups and blogs and communities are important.

I dislike the mislabeling of books in general. Books should be easy for readers to find; you should get what you want without having to hunt around too terribly much. While I am absolutely an advocate of trying new and different books, it's hard to try new and different books when you don't know where those are either. This is why I want to open the blog to recommendations on Monday and why I want to keep doing so on occasion; it's why I recommend various genre blogs and groups.

But I'm really interested in your thoughts on this. How do you as a reader decide what genre is which? Where do you make the distinction? What do you look for in UF and how is that different from what you look for in para romance, if you read both?

Like I said if you know of a UF group or blog that I don't have, please leave it in comments. I'd like to keep specific titles out of this one, as we'll do that next week and hopefully that thread will keep going while I'm away.

So you tell me. What do you think?

Some news and things

2009-03-26T12:12:00.003Z

Okay, I have a few bits and pieces today!

First, yes, I am pleased to announce a deal has been made for a third Megan Chase novel. From PM:

Stacia Kane's DEMON POSSESSED, the third book in her Megan Chase paranormal romance series, to Paula Guran at Juno, by Chris Lotts at Ralph M. Vicinanza (US).

I'm very excited about this third book; I think it's going to be a heck of a lot of fun to write, and we're going to answer a lot of questions and resolve some Big Things in it. I don't have an exact release date but Paula and I are hoping for early spring 2010; since you guys had to wait so long (and waited so kindly and patiently) for the second book we want to get the third one out as quickly as we can. It's going to keep me pretty damn busy for the next few months, but that's a good thing.

I also have cover art for DEMON INSIDE, the second book in the series:

I just finished copyedits for that book last night, and was pleased overall with the story and writing; as I've said, it's darker than the first, and believe me if I'd realized when writing it (I wrote it before PERSONAL DEMONS was released, remember) how popular Malleus, Maleficarum, and Spud would be I would have tried to feature them more heavily, but in DEMON INSIDE edits Paula and I both tried to see ways to give them a little more on-stage time and just couldn't; there just want's room. They're still there, of course, and two of my favorite moments in the book involve them, but you MM&S fans will have to wait for DEMON POSSESSED to get a massive fix of the Misters Brown; the book was plotted before PD came out, too, but I missed the Misters myself, when writing DEMON INSIDE, and so was really happy that the events of DP will give them plenty of room to play.

I have some sort of stomach bug or something that the Faerie brought home from her school, and so feel lousy, ugh. And I was going to do something fun today but since I have news and a cover to post I'll hold on to it until next week.

Could have sworn I had something else, though, but... I guess not. So there you go, anyway. There will be a third Demons book next year--less than a year from now, in fact, is the plan--and the second book has a cover as you can see above.

drumroll...Cover & Copy for UNHOLY GHOSTS...drumroll

2009-03-23T18:43:00.006Z

OCTOBER 27, 2009...

THE AFTERLIFE IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

The world is not the way it was. The dead have risen and constantly attack the living. The powerful Church of Real Truth, in charge since the government fell, has sworn to reimburse citizens being harassed by the deceased. Consequently, there are many false claims of hauntings from those hoping to profit. Enter Chess Putnam, a fully-tattooed witch and freewheeling Debunker and ghost hunter. She’s got a real talent for nailing the human liars or banishing the wicked dead. But she’s keeping a dark secret from the Church: a little drug problem that’s landed her in hot and dangerous water.

Chess owes a murderous drug lord named Bump a lot of money. And Bump wants immediate payback. All Chess has to do is dispatch a very nasty species of undead from an old airport. But the job involves black magic, human sacrifice, a nefarious demonic creature, and crossing swords with enough wicked energy to wipe out a city of souls. Toss in lust with a rival gang leader and a dangerous attraction to Bump’s ruthless enforcer, and Chess begins to wonder if the rush is really worth it. Hell, yeah.

(squeeeeee! I LOVE this cover so much I want to marry it, look how awesome!!! It's lost alittle clarity as I had to shrink it in my cheapo Photoshop knockoff program, I think, but...squeeeee!)

2009-03-22T12:00:00.002Z

So Jade Goody has died.

Of cervical cancer.

At the age of 27.

Cervical cancer is one of the slowest forms of cancer there is. If caught early, cervical cancer is nearly 100% treatable.

But Jade Goody's cervical cancer was not caught early. You know why? Because Jade Goody was unfortunate enough to live in England, where regular (not annual, I hasten to point out, but regular, by which the NHS means every three years) pap smears are not given to young women until they reach the age of 25. Twenty-fucking-five.

Many forms of cervical cancer stem from strains of HPV, HumanPappillomaVirus. HPV is a sexually transmitted disease.

That's why in the US, pap smears are recommended for all women once they become sexually active. Because sexual activity automatically increases your risk of HPV exponentially. And because even without HPV, you are still at risk (I get irritated when I see people behaving as though HPV is the *only* cause of/risk factor for cervical cancer. It's NOT) once you become sexually active.

A loose scan of my memory gives me the names of three or four of my female friends, including myself (I'll get to that in a second) who were treated at one time or another for cervical dysplasia--precancerous cells on the cervix. To a woman treatment was short and simple, and fairly non-invasive. Easy.

Pap smears save lives. Period. End of fucking story.

At least, it's the end of the story for Jade Goody, dead at twenty-seven, leaving her two small sons behind. Who wants to be the one to explain to those boys that their mother is dead now because England couldn't be bothered to spend the money for a simple test that would have saved her life? And, far worse, that rather than simply admitting they can't afford it but urging women to get them anyway, by not even recommending the test until age twenty-five they imply strongly that the pap is a waste of time, that there's no point in getting one before you hit twenty-five, even in a country with one of the highest teen birth rates in the world (Goody surely could have afforded private insurance or to get the test on her own, but she'd been told it was unecessary)? Which would certainly imply a very high rate of teen sexual activity, wouldn't it? A country which decides to save money by crushing the lives of young women and treating them as though their health is unimportant, that the pap smear is unecessary and silly? Do you want to explain that to them? I sure don't.

It's not just paps, either. Right after we moved here my husband asked his doctor about getting an annual physical. At thirty-three, with histories of cancer and heart disease on both sides of his family, he'd been getting annual check-ups for three years as recommended. The doctor laughed at him. "Oh, yes, well, that's just insurance companies in America wanting to make more money," he said. "You don't need an annual check-up until you hit fifty."

(No, this is a different doctor from the one who told him, when he went in with bronchitis and could hardly breathe, "You look healthy enough. Give it a few more days, and if you start coughing up blood come back." But the point is the same, isn't it?)

So Jade Goody is dead at twenty-seven, because she grew up in a country that told her pap smears were a waste of time. Whereas I consider her death to be a waste of time; time she could have spent raising her children and living a life.

I got my first pap smear at eighteen, because I knew I was supposed to get them once I became sexually active; it was something which had been drilled into my head by teen magazines and Health teachers and the world at large. Because I didn't have health insurance I went to Planned Parenthood and paid $35, if memory serves (they bill you on a sliding scale there. Years later I also went to PP for an HIV test, don't remember what I paid for it; I didn't think I was at risk for HIV and I wasn't, but I am a bit of a hypochondriac so wanted to be certain.) It wasn't too bad; it didn't really hurt or anything. They sent me my results; all clear.

I got another at nineteen. Another at twenty, and twenty-one. Twenty-two I skipped, but went again shortly after turning twenty-three.

That's when they dinged me.

I had moderate-to-severe dysplasia, confirmed by a biopsy done with a colposcopy (which is like a really bright light and a dye or something that shows the doctor where the "bad" cells are during the examination so he can take samples from those spots). My gynecologist--a fantastic man who went on to deliver both my children--booked me in for a LEEP biopsy, whereby a loop of wire with an electric current running through it was used to remove the cells. The only really unpleasant thing about it was the lydocaine shot; not painful, but I had an uncomfortable reaction to the lydocaine. It took about an hour.

I did not have HPV, by the way.

I went back every six months for the first year or two to get another biopsy & colposcopy. After three years I was considered "clean" and could go back to regular annual paps. Those have been clean too, ever since, although of course I've only had one since I've been (not pleasant; no chair with stirrups, you have to lie down, tilt your hips up and spread your legs, with no little paper blanket or anything, which is both uncomfortable and undignified) here because history of cervical cancer or not, the NHS considers women's health to be unimportant (another friend of mine came up against a stone wall when trying to get a mammogram at thirty-five, after every other woman in her family had been disganosed at various times with early-onset breast cancer.)

My other friends who'd also had cervical cancer, who'd had crosurgery (freezing) or LEEPs like I had or cone biopsies? All had the same outcome. One incidence; closer checkups after, eventually sliding into regular annual checks again. We were all very lucky to live somewhere that paps are taken seriously. We were all very lucky indeed.

We were also all, to a woman, under twenty-five.

The youngest was eighteen. The oldest was me, at twenty-three.

Think about that for a minute. If I had grown up here instead of there, I might very well not be alive now. I might be alive but without my two children; had the cancer spread I probably would have ended up with a hysterectomy.

Dead or infertile by the age of twenty-five. All of us. All because in order to save money the NHS pretends there's no point in doing a test, an important test which has been proven to save countless lives. Think for a minute about the women you know; have any of them had it? How old were they?

There's been a movement here since the Goody diagnosis to lower the age for pap smears to twenty, in accordance with what the other UK countries do. Which is better, but not enough.

Pap smears should be done annually once you become sexually active. End of story. On a message board a little while back some women were having a discussion about this, and one was saying (at twenty-one, I think) that she was terrified to go get the pap, that she cried at the thought of anyone who wasn't her fiance seeing her ladyparts, that she was panicky and sick and blah blah blah. And you know, I felt bad for her; I can't imagine what that kind of fear would be like. It's not one I've ever had. A doctor is a doctor. To me it's no different than having my hands examined.

But I told her something. She didn't like it and probably still thinks I'm a big old bitch for it, but I didn't apologize then and I won't apologize now, because it's true. If you're not mature enough to suck it up and get a pap smear, you are not mature enough to be sexually active.

Seriously. Responsibility is part of it (the same holds for birth control). Pap smears are part of being a grown woman and not a child. I have two daughters, and you bet your ass they're going to get their paps every year when the time comes, if I have to drag them in and hold them down on the table myself. Because they are so, so, so hugely important.

It's just too bad the NHS doesn't think so. And that now another young woman is dead because of it. I never watched Jade Goody on TV or really knew very much about her; reality TV isn't my thing, in general. But I am absolutely furious that she is dead, when she didn't have to die. I am furious that her government killed her by pretending she wasn't at risk for a disease which strikes thousands of young women every year. I am furious that they behave as though my experience and the experience of so many others is unimportant or an aberration; I cry to think of all I might have missed had I been born and raised here instead of America.

A young woman is dead today, of an entirely preventable and treatable illness. And I feel sick about it. And I hope the NHS does too, because they should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

PLEASE, if you are reading this and you are female, or if you're reading this and you know some females :-), PLEASE encourage them to get their pap smears. Please. It is so important.

NOTE: Last night I noticed Mrs. Giggles--whom you all know I adore--linked to this entry and wrote an excellent and very informative post about Pap smears and the types of cells/cell abnormalities found in them. It's well worth a read. But more importantly, Mrs. G. makes a point that I neglected to make: whether or not you are sexually active, you should be getting your pap smears annually. I don't care if you're a nun, once you reach a certain age--Mrs. G suggests 18--you need to do them. And she is 100% correct. I'm ashamed that I didn't mention this myself. Please...get the test, whether you're having sex or not.

(I'll be in a better mood tomorrow, I promise, and I'll post the OMFGAWESOME cover and back copy for UNHOLY GHOSTS, and you do not want to miss those!!!)

Some thoughts and updates and stuff

2009-03-19T14:08:00.004Z

So. It occurred to me earlier that my blogging is going to be a bit sketchy for a while.

Our move is almost upon us. We leave the UK in about three weeks. I am totally freaking out.

Here's the thing. I *hate* change. I am the only person I know who once seriously considered giving up a promotion at work because it meant rather than being downstairs, my desk was upstairs. It took me a couple of weeks to get over that. No, really. Two weeks of feeling sick at work, and wrong, and missing my old cubicle buddies (who, let me emphasise, I still had plenty of contact with).

At another job, they redecorated and I cried about it. No, really. (Privately, of course; I didn't snivel where people could see me. But it just felt so wrong. It wasn't the same! It wasn't familiar! Waaaah!)

So as you can probably imagine...I am having a difficult time. I haven't slept more than four or five hours at a stretch in over a week (and yes, part of this is the aftermath of finishing the book). My stomach is in knots. Tears constantly tingle the back of my eyes; everything is changing. Our girls will have their last days at their respective schools in a few weeks; we're dropping off letters to the administrators confirming it and all that. We're going places and thinking "We're probably only going to be here X more times."

Have I mentioned that I'm totally freaking out and that I HATE change?

It's not that I'm not excited. I absolutely am. I can't wait. It's not that I don't think we're doing the right thing, because I absolutely do. And while there will be some things I'll miss...yeah, not that many, really. (Except fish & chips. Oh GODS how I will miss that, because I love it so much. Okay, that's making me want to cry.)

The worst part about all this freaking out? It's making me a bit...odd. I had the same issue before our wedding; about a week and a half beforehand I, who am (is that right? it doesn't seem right, but "is" doesn't either. This is a perfect illustration of my point, btw) usually pretty good at picking up on others' moods/attitudes, become totally incapable of doing so. I literally cannot tell if someone is joking or being bitchy or what. This makes me irritable. I don't like the way it feels.

Anyway. All this wordiness can be summed up with; I am not a happy camper at the moment and am thus trying to tread lightly. Please be gentle with me?

It can also be summed up with the following:

*I will be away next Thursday

*I will try to keep my regular Mon/Thurs schedule but can't guarantee it; as we get closer to the time I will be freaking out even more, which is boring to read about, in addition to having all kinds of stuff to do (including actual work; I still have an April 1 deadline)

*I will probably NOT be around, here or elsewhere, from April 7th-April 17th or so. I will try, but we'll be traveling for most of it. (This is actually one of the things I'm totally excited about; we'll be in NYC briefly and I get to have lunch with Agent Man, and lunch with editors, and meet the absolutely amazing people at Del Rey and Pocket, and I'm really, really so excited about it I might scream like a little girl).

*I'll try to check in at least once when we stop off at my Mom's place for a breather.

*I will be at the Romantic Times convention in Orlando; I arrive April 21st. I will be at the big EC party Wednesday night, I will be at the Saturday signing. The League of Reluctant Adults is doing a Club RT event Thursday morning with some great prizes; I'll be there. I'm doing a panel on creating an online presence on Friday at 12:30 (I think). I'll probably be in the bar the rest of the time.

*After RT I'll be visiting family and friends; so again, more sporadic posting. I hope to be all settled and ready to be Back by the second week in May.

You guys are going to totally abandon me, aren't you? I'll be gone so long you'll just forget about me. Sigh.

Anyway. I *will* have my BlackBerry the whole time, so I will still be reachable by email, but seriously. If it's not really important, you probably won't get much of a response if any (it's hard to type on that tiny keyboard. Easier than texting on a regular phone, yes, but still). Please don't take it personally if I don't reply; I have no idea how much time I'm going to have. That doesn't mean you shouldn't feel free to email me. Please do if you like. It just means I might not be able to reply.

So there you go.

Have I mentioned that I am totally freaking out? Seriously. Panic.

Thoughts on finishing a book

2009-03-16T00:24:00.010Z

I was going to blog today--well, tomorrow, actually, because it's 12:25 am right at this moment--about pantsing, and how sometimes really cool stuff just appears, and I've had two incidences of that in the last two days and it was awesome. And I might go ahead and blog about that at the League in the morning; I probably will.

But right now...right now I feel awful.

I just finished the book.

It should be a good thing. And it is, really. Finishing a book is a Good Thing. We *should* finish books. Especially contracted books.

But this one--new title DEVOURER OF GHOSTS--is the third Downside book. The last contracted Downside book. And I have no idea if I'll get to write more.

I certainly hope I will. I hope the series is popular enough, sells well enough to justify another contract. But there are no guarantees, as we all know; especially not in this business.

So right at this moment, instead of celebrating, instead of gleefully sitting back and having a cocktail, I am bereft. Totally and completely.

Sure, I'm not done done. I have edits. I have a subplot to strengthen and a Baddie to make badder. I have copyedits for DOWNSIDE GHOSTS. Heck, I have edits and line edits and copyedits for this book. It's not like I never get to visit this world again, or play with these characters I love so much--and I do, I really, really love them. I'm looking forward to actually reading this book first page to last, as I haven't done that yet.

But I don't know how much more playing I'll get to do. I don't know if I'll get to create new stories for them, to expand what's there. I have some scenes already waiting in my head, some plot twists and moments and scares; I have no idea if I'll ever get to write them. I have full plots for the next two books, in fact, including an entire weeklong ceremonial celebration complete with blood sacrifices and roaring fires and haunted streets...and I might never get to write any of it.

Intellectually I know I'll get over it. That after a few days I'll have found something else to work on--I'm actually 17k into a new project and I am looking forward to making some heavy progress on that--and, hey, if things don't work out I can spin those ideas into a new world and it just might work, right?

Intellectually I know I feel this way when most of my books end. It's worse for the non-series books, when you really *are* done with those characters when you write THE END. I've never cried after finishing a book until now, but I usually feel like it. Writing a book takes an enormous amount out of a person, or at least, out of me. By the time it's done I'm usually sort of a drooling goon, unable to think or talk about anything else, unable to see anything else, I'm so focused on bringing a good ending home; my eyes burn, my hands ache, my right arm is sore from moving the cursor, my knees stiff from being folded in one position for so long. I haven't gotten a solid night's sleep in a week; I wake up three or four times, jerked from dreams in which the characters act out scenes in my head. It's always like that for me as the book starts wrapping up, but this one has been worse.

So I know all this. I know I'll get over it and be okay, that I'll go to sleep now and wake up feeling much better and ready to start editing. But it doesn't help, not right now. Not when I'm facing saying goodbye. This is the series that got me an agent and my first NY deal; the one that paid for us to go back home in a few weeks. And I just love it so much and I feel so lonely and uncertain.

The part that was up to me, the real heavy lifting, is done. I know pretty much what needs to be done in edits. Aside from the subplot and strengthening it's just fine-tuning: fiddling with sentence structure, eliminating redundancies, etc. I've done what I can do, what I needed to do, and I'll continue to do so, but soon it won't matter at all. It won't matter what I think or how I feel. Because the book will be out there, in the hands of readers (um, or not, which of course is the real fear), and what they think of it will make all the difference. That's scary. Very scary. This is a very dark series, about drugs and poverty and ghettos; in this climate, are people really going to want to read about my punk-rock ghetto no-hopers? I sure hope so, but there's no way to tell, is there.

So there you go. My unvarnished thoughts on finishing a book, specifically this book, which is the last book under contract. I hope I get to write more. I want to write more, desperately.

But I might not get to. And it's hard to think about and it makes me sad. And that's where I am at this moment; just sad. And hopeful, and nervous, and scared, and wishing I could start it all over so I don't have to say goodbye.

Sorry, everyone. I'll have cheered up by Thursday, I promise.

New Secret Sunday Snippet from UNHOLY GHOSTS

2009-03-15T13:25:00.002Z

...is up over at the Livejournal, so go check it out!

I'll be deleting it first thing tomorrow morning, probably around 2 am EDT, so...get it while it lasts. :-)

Tomorrow I'll be crowing about the joys of pantsing and the new title for the third Downside book.

What does silence mean?

2009-03-08T13:27:00.008Z

While spending a few minutes checking my lj friendslist yesterday, I came across Jim Hines's post about some big race discussion that's apparently been happening right under my nose and I wasn't paying attention.

I've seen this mentioned in passing elsewhere but given that I was on two deadlines and am trying to make heavy progress on a new project, AND have agreed to participate in a Mentoring program at the Romance Divas forum (yes, I am a mentor now; scary, huh?), my internet time has been even more limited than it usually is. Well, hell, I don't have to tell you guys that; I've been blogging regularly for, what, three years now?, and missed two scheduled posts last month because I simply didn't have time.

So I don't know what all this is about. I've spent some time following links but am still rather confused about the whole thing. And frankly I'm not sure I want to know; I avoid internet drama whenever possible, so generally when I see posts that seem to be referring to such things, at best I skim them.

There are subjects we don't approach here on the blog. We don't generally discuss politics, as you know; and if you're new to the blog, you might want to check this short post about keeping the blog light and fun, or, especially, this post about why politics are not a part of my blog and never will be. (Interestingly enough, I discovered a link to that post a while ago from a gentleman who referred to me as "that person" and said I was wrong because those of us who are educated and know the facts have a responsibility to educate others. Which amused me highly, it really did; I especially liked his bland and arrogant assumption that people who disagree with him or anyone else do so because they're stupid and uneducated, and not because they simply have different values or ideals or, you know, their own minds. And thus need to be lectured by someone who views himself as so much more clever and informed and valuable than they are; another one who must be a real hoot at parties. Which illustrated to me the point I made in that post perfectly. Anyway.)

In fact, that political post is pretty helpful as background reading here, I think. Because again, the purpose of this blog is to be fun. To have fun. To entertain. Yes, I do posts about writing and publishing, and those are meant to educate--but hopefully in an entertaining fashion. I don't see it as my job to tackle big issues or be some sort of guru (even if I actually thought myself capable of being such). I don't see this as a place to expound my political or religious or moral or whatever views--we do dip into morality on occasion, yes--because I want the blog to be an inclusive place where everyone feels welcome. Everyone. Because you are. I think and have long thought that my readers are awesome; smart, friendly, fun people, and that we're always happy to see someone new pop in and comment. There are too many places where that doesn't happen; where new commentors are ignored, where commenters who disagree with the blog's admin are ripped into and made fun of, are called names, are followed back to their own blogs and picked on there. Where questions are answered with vitriol and respectful comments with insults. This is not one of those places and it never will be. I hate those places. No matter who runs them I have never liked them, and avoid them.

All this is my way of saying that I genuinely had no idea all this drama was happening everywhere.

And I say that because in following some of the links left in Jim's posts I noticed several people bemoaning the lack of comments or support by fantasy writers.

I hardly think I'm important enough to count. I am essentially unknown; I'm not a "big voice" in any genre--I'm hardly a voice at all. So I really don't think anyone is watching me or my blog and being disturbed by my silence, but I'm going to break it anyway simply so there will be no doubt.

And really, my link-following has only skimmed the surface. I don't know how the discussion started or who did what to whom and why; I have an idea based on the bit of reading I did but how it all snowballed and blew up everywhere I don't know. And I'm not posting this in order to take sides or join the fray.

And I will say this as well. I love this blog and I love my blog readers. They are wonderful, warm, intelligent people. I'm not going to tolerate people coming here and starting shit with them. I doubt that will happen. But I'm saying it anyway.

So here is my basic statement. It's based on what I've read and it's based on seeing readers wondering why more fantasy authors haven't spoken up (and to be fair, I am certain that the vast majority of my pals have no idea this is going on either). I don't want there to be doubts and questions about why I haven't said anything. It's because I didn't know. And now that I do I am going to say something, but again, this isn't a topic I wish to have endless discussions about. I'm not joining anything. I'm just saying my piece, because even the small ampount of reading I did showed me that some truly horrible things have been said and done and I don't want there to be any doubt that I disapprove of such things.

Judging people or stereotyping them based on the color of their skin is wrong. Implying, even if you mean it kindly, that all people of a particular color or ethnicity think or feel the same about any given issue is wrong; there is as much diversity in minorities as there is anywhere else. Because we're all people.

Treating people like shit is wrong. Treating them as though they are less than human, as if they exist for your personal gratification, as though their feelings don't matter and you can just do whatever you want to them, is wrong. Ignoring the possible consequences of your actions on another person's life and/or livelihood is just wrong.

Threatening people is wrong.

Taking petty revenge on people is wrong.

Refusing to listen to other people is wrong. Discounting them and/or their veiwpoints because you don't agree or don't like what they have to say is wrong.

Judging people or calling them names simply because they don't agree with you is wrong.

We're all human. And being human means we're kind of scummy. We all have thoughts of which we are not proud. Whether it's socialization or simply the fact that at heart we all still have a greedy little "Mine! MINE!" baby who is jealous and hateful, we ALL sometimes have thoughts of which we are not proud. The human mind is a bizarre and wonderful and terrifying thing.

When I was three years old I grabbed a metal spoon from a kitchen drawer and bashed my brother over the head with it. For no reason, at least not that I can recall (I actually don't remember the incident at all). He was just sitting in a chair watching TV.

What was going on in my mind? I don't know. What I do know is, I had a thought--to bash Ray over the head with the spoon--and I acted on it. Today, I might still have the same thought; one of those crazy things that just pops into your head, like wondering what would happen if you walked up to a stranger in public and said, "You know what? I fucking hate you," and walked away, or if you pushed someone for no reason, or any number of crazy things that pop into my mind and I am pretty sure pop into everyone's minds at one time or another. But today I would not act on it. I might be secretly amused or horrified, but I wouldn't act on it. Because I'm not three anymore.

I believe racism, sexism, discrimation or whatever in any form, among reasonable people, are the same thing. We ALL have unpleasant, embarrassing, or downright hideous thoughts from time to time. Hopefully not many; hopefully not too bad. But you can't control the crazy, unlike-you thoughts that pop into your head, any more than I can control the fact that once every few years I dream I kill someone and am trying to hide the body, and the sick, horrible sense of shame and despair that dream engenders, and the intense relief on waking and realizing I have not in fact killed anyone (this generally leaves me feeling great for days: I didn't kill anyone!)

What you CAN and SHOULD control is the expression of those thoughts. And what you can and should control is how you react to having something you said commented on. You offended someone? Just apologize. Why do we all need to be right all the time? What difference does it make, really? Even if that's not what you meant. Even if you think the people interpreting your words are batshit crazy for thinking that. Just apologize. Try to figure out how or why you offended them. And let it go. Period.

It's easy. It doesn't matter. You can still think you're right, even, if you insist. But just apologize. It's not being a doormat. It's not admitting you're a racist or sexist or you discriminate against unattractive people or mice or Weeble-Wobbles. It's just apologizing, and everyone gets to move on. And I think if we all consider it we'll realize that most of the big problems in our lives could be avoided if we'd just quit having to be fucking right all the time and allow other people to think and feel their own thoughts, in their own wacky brains, where they are at any given moment probably contemplating running naked through the office or fucking the elderly receptionist or peeing in the hallway, because those are the kind of loony uncontrollable musings their brains create. (What? I can't believe I'm the only person in the world who's ever wondered what people would do if I peed in the hallway. You know, acting as though nothing was wrong and everyone does it; just lean against the wall, lift my skirt and push my panties to my knees, and have a go right there on the floor. I'd never actually do it, of course. But I can't be responsible for the bizarre fantasies in my head--as long as they remain in my head--and neither can anyone else.)

It's not pleasant to be called on those thoughts. It's not pleasant to be called a sexist or a racist or a sizeist or anti-gay or whatever else, when you firmly do not believe you are and do not want to be. But it's also not pleasant to be the one on the receiving end of a comment or action that hurts or offends you, or makes you feel less than human. So in that situation you have two hurt and confused people, and the best thing to do is for the one who did the hurting, no matter how inadvertent it was--and we've all hurt people inadvertently, every one of us--to apologize. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to hurt you." It's very easy. Note that there's no "I'm not a purple-jean hater!!" outrage attached to that. It's simply "I'm sorry."

And it goes both ways. The one receiving the apology could also apologize thusly: "I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, and I didn't mean to hurt or insult you, just to point out that your comment could be construed in a way you didn't intend." See? Again, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong, or what anyone meant. What matters is both people have been accorded the dignity every human being should be accorded, and both parties have a chance to move on with dignity, and reach a new and deeper understanding.

This is what being an adult is, to be frank.

And that's basically it. Like I said I'm not aware of the whole discussion. And to bring myself up-to-date would take hours and hours of time which I frankly do not have. In fact, not only is it time I don't have, but I get the distinct feeling that those hours would be spent growing more and more upset and disillusioned and frustrated and sad, and would leave me unable to focus on work or anything else, and I still have two books to finish and a website to build and an apprentice to mentor. ("Apprentice" is the term the program in which we're participating uses.)

And really, does it matter if I know the whole story or not? I've said my bit. I'm tired of anger and entitlement and the idea that other people don't matter. I'm sick of seeing it everywhere. I don't want to see it anymore.

Every person sitting in front of a keyboard and typing out all those words with which you disagree? They are people. Human beings. Maybe we could all remember that? Just try to keep it in mind, is all. There's no excuse for treating them like they're something less than that. Less than you. Less than anything. I avoid blogs and forums where people are treated that way. I avoid blogs and forums where being vicious to other people is encouraged. Those are not places I want to spend my time.

I write about pain. I write about isolation and disillusionment and the utter and complete lack of belief that life is worth living. I write about blood and magic and filth and evil and death. I write about abuse and hatred. I write about loneliness and misery and secrets and the uncertainty of life and people who have nothing but honor, people who can't connect with other people, people who bleed rivers of pain if you cut their skin.

Quite frankly, my worldview is already twisted enough; there's plenty of misery floating around in my head already. I don't need to go find more. That's why I try to keep the blog a positive place and that's why I avoid getting into arguments etc. online, and avoid visiting websites and blogs where people are regularly turned into cannon fodder.

And I guess that's it.

The Books are Out There!

2009-03-05T12:42:00.003Z

Sigh. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

So, lately I've been seeing a lot of posts and comments and discussions online relating to the idea that ALL urban fantasy has become samey and dull. That it's all circling the were-vamp drain, full of designer labels, with the same worlds and characters and plot devices.

And it puts me in a little bit of an awkward position, in a way. Because I totally, totally, TOTALLY disagree, but saying so makes me feel a little...weird. Like I'm putting readers down--which I never, ever want to do, ever, because readers are awesome--or jumping up and down in front of them screaming, "But, ME!! And ME! Look at ME!!" Which I also do not really want to do.

But, um, look at me. :-)

No, no. I'm going to talk about my books a little bit, yes. But really I want to talk about other writers' books. And I want to talk about how my opinion and image of urban fantasy is exactly the opposite: I believe the genre is about to make a huge, expansive leap, that the days of urban fantasy automatically equalling hot chicks in leather weilding guns and fucking vampires or weres are done with.

And here's where it might sound like I'm scolding or yelling at readers, but that is not the case at ALL. Not one bit, never. But guys...the stuff is out there. The books are OUT THERE. They are. They're coming. They're in stores now. They're in pre-release. They're being signed by agents and they're being bought by editors and they are in the works, and this genre is about to explode and I honestly believe that's the case.

But you have to look for them, and you have to know where to look.

It's not your fault, darling reader. It isn't. You buy books based on a recommendation, or you see a cool-looking cover or read a review or whatever. And that's the way it's supposed to work. You don't have time to play book detective and spend hours running around the internet looking for unfamiliar authors. And nobody expects you to, least of all me.

But here's where I think the problem lies. You, as a reader, know what sorts of things you like, and I think in a way the system itself is geared to make sure you stay in your little reader box, if you know what I mean. Say you buy Caitlin Kittredge's excellent Second Skin, which was just released and you totally should be buying immediately because we all know Caitlin is the awesomest. Anyway, you make this very sensible purchase. Say you make it from Amazon. Now, what does Amazon do? Amazon shows you more books about weres, because Amazon assumes you like books about weres.

This would be the case with any book you buy. But given that, yes, there are a lot of were & vamp books out there, and given that they sell well if they're good (like Caitlin's are)...it can seem as though that's ALL that's out there. Because it's all you're being shown.

I think the crossover between urban fantasy and paranormal romance is an issue as well. There are people out there who dislike UF because it doesn't have that HEA (Happily Ever After, for the uninitiated) ending which is so necessary to genre romance. And you know, if genre romance is what you're after then I totally understand that. You want a HEA ending. If that's what you want it's what you should get; it's what you as a reader deserve. Why should you have to read something that isn't what you want or are looking for? You shouldn't.

But I can't help thinking...maybe if you tried a non-HEA UF or two...you might find you don't mind the missing HEA so much. You might be happy to wait for it, to get involved in a long and complex emotional relationship (not that genre romances don't have complex emotional relationships, that's not what I'm saying) that spans several books. Why not give it a try? Because if you're looking for paranormal books outside the vamp/were area, UF has them in spades, and you might be surprised by the emotional depth of the stories.

And that goes for the fantasy fans who are unhappy that UF has too much emphasis on romance, that they are somehow a "girl's genre" because the heroines have sex and look for love. Well, you know what? UFs have romance in them because whether you personally feel that way or not, the vast majority of people want romance in their lives. They want to find someone to share their lives with. They want to find love. Hell, they want to get laid. I'm always stunned when I see or hear people comment that they don't like romance in books; to me it's like saying you don't want romance in life either (and by romance I simply mean love and passion, not flowers and soft music, neither of which I particularly like). These are basic human needs, people; why should UF heroines be any different? Most books, in any genre, have some sort of romantic subplot. What's wrong with that?

And, why is it that books written by women are judged by the amount of romance or sex in them, but books by men aren't? Harry Dresden's looking for love; I don't see anyone putting those books down. In fact, it sometimes seems as though UF written by men doesn't even figure into the equation when people talk about samey UFs. The Dresden books are nothing like Mark Henry's fantastic zombies; Mark del Franco's Connor Grey books aren't like Anton Strout's Simon Canderous books; Charles de Lint isn't John Levitt. And none of those books are like my PERSONAL DEMONS, or Jackie Kessler's HELL'S BELLES, or Richelle Mead's SUCCUBUS BLUES. They're just not. At all.

It just frustrates me a little, I admit, to see the genre I love so much reduced to "They're all alike; they're all just rich vampires who own nightclubs and sleep on designer sheets," or whatever. When there are so many stories and world and characters out there, and so many more coming. When I personally feel like we're on the cusp of something so much bigger. In June Caitlin's STREET MAGIC comes out; a fantastic, fantastic urban fantasy about mages and magic and a hidden London, with one of the sexiest UF heroes I've ever read--no, make that THE sexiest. In November (yes, we get to me now) my UNHOLY GHOSTS will be released, and I'm sure you can all recite with me what the book is about: punk rock, greasers, ghosts, black magic, blood rituals, witchcraft, drug dealers, ghettos...and not a were or vamp in either of them. My cast is all-human, baby, with a few ghosts thrown in for spooky good measure. So is Caitlin's. Nicole Peeler has a Selkie book coming out in the next year or so.

And I know there are more. Tons more that I'm just not thinking of at the moment.

Remember my "Heroes" series? The simple fact is, books about dull people doing nothing out of the ordinary don't sell. They just don't. Do you want to read a book wherein your neighbor sits around watching TV all day? Do you want to read a novel about a complicated tax question? No, probably not.

And I firmly believe there is not another genre out there where the characters are as unique and exciting, the world as intricate, and the stakes as high as urban fantasy. And I firmly believe that in the next year or so we're going to see the fruits of all those books that came before; they way they fired our imaginations and made us think of possibilities. Sure, there will always be a place for vampires and weres, because there are readers to buy them. I love vampires.

But weres and vampires are not the only characters in UF. Not at all. You just have to look for others. Visit the League of Reluctant Adults. Check out the Fangs Fur & Fey community on livejournal. Visit the fantasy section at the bookstore if you usually just buy romances, and vice versa. Branch out. Ask people. Ask booksellers. Tell them what you want, like, for example, that they should order twenty or thirty copies each of STREET MAGIC and UNHOLY GHOSTS for all of their stores, because you're going to get all your friends to rush in and buy them the day they're released.

They *are* out there. You just have to look for them.

The Movie Time Capsule. Or something.

2009-03-02T17:53:00.002Z

Hey, so I can't think up a good title today, so what?

Actually, titling is an issue I'm having these days. I'm 2/3 done with the third Downside book and it is still saved in Word as "Chess3" because the title I originally planned, CITY OF GHOSTS, was apparently a major film a few years ago and I'm leery of using something with that many Google hits. So that needs a title, bad.

I'm also just about 1/2 of the way through a new project which Agent Man and I both love, which has no title. It's currently saved as BLOOD AND FAE, which is not really very good. Especially since both blood and Fae figure in the plot, it's not really about either of those things.

So anyway. The hubs and I were discussing titles in the car the other day, which led to movies, which led to movies that piss us off for one reason or another, which led us to A League of Their Own.

I hate that movie. I really, really hate that movie.

Or rather, I hate the ending of that movie. It pisses me off like almost nothing else.

What message are we supposed to take from that horrible ending, where in order to make her bitchy, miserable sister happy--to give her happiness she doesn't deserve, as she is loathesome--the Gena Davis character throws the championship? Is my heart supposed to be warmed by that? Am I supposed to think that's sweet?

Or am I supposed to think that if the Gena Davis character were my teammate, I would have ripped her eyeballs out of her head with a teaspoon?

Or, am I supposed to think that when it comes down to it, women just aren't very good at competing, poor little dears, and they will always make emotional decisions rather than rational ones, and cannot ever get past their personal feelings and live up to their responsibilities?

Seriously. The fact that this ball of patronizing sexism was passed off as a movie for women to enjoy astounds me. It reads like something from a 70's anti-women's-lib screed: You can't trust women because they can't separate their emotions; you can't put them in charge of multinational corporations because they won't do what's best for the company, only for themselves; they're incapable of making sound decisions based on facts and not feelings.

And it was such a cute movie until then. I really enjoyed it. But what the hell good is it to have a movie where women are railing against sexism and determined to prove they can compete just as well as the men can--that all the silly little skirts and make-up tips are a big joke because women are tough and strong and can play a hell of a ballgame just like men--and then have the entire ending turn on the fact that at least one of them cannot in fact do that? So instead of having a film about how women really *can* do things, you have a movie about how women *say* they can do things but really are irresponsible and silly and will let their teammates down to make their sisters happy?

It just frustrates me and irritates me. Gena Davis's character had a responsibility and she threw it away--threw away the hopes and dreams of people who supported and cared about her--in order to please someone who clearly did not particularly care about her because she was too busy caring only about herself.

I think this is doubly on my mind of late because I'm dealing, in the third Downside book, with a lot more emotional crap than I have in the first two, as my MC struggles with the consequences of hurting other people emotionally, and realizes that she herself does have those inconvenient things called feelings and that she can't pretend she doesn't. So there's a lot of facing-up-to-things and a lot of thoughts and worries about feelings that, while they existed in the first book and a bit more in the second--Chess was never an automaton or someone so Tough And Hard she ate nails or anything like that--weren't really focused on then.

And it's difficult to find a balance, between trying to write an awesome, creepy, scary, exciting urban fantasy (trying to write, I said; I'm not claiming my books are any of these things although I certainly hope they are), and trying to write a book where people are having emotional issues and those emotional issues feel organic and real; which is to say, the characters think about them even at inconvenient times, and are confused about them, and hate having them, and want certain things emotionally and feel embarrassed and silly for wanting those things, and generally don't know how to deal with them. Especially as they're emotional issues with which the characters have never dealt before, and that makes them vulnerable.

How do you decide which decisions are practical and which are emotional? How do you handle making an emotional decision when you know you should be making a practical one but can't help yourself?

For me the difference is in how the character themselves feel about the decision they've made. My biggest issue with that stupid League of their Own ending was that we as the audience were seemingly pushed into feeling that Davis made the right choice; her disgraceful, disrespectful, cruel little trick on the rest of her team was played off as the moral and caring choice. I found that offensive, personally; I wouldn't have had such an issue with the film had her character been castigated for what she'd done--the way she deserved to be.

So I work hard, generally, to show that there are consequences to incorrect decisions and that emotions breed complexity. You can't just tell someone you're sorry and have that make everything okay. You can't ask for forgiveness and expect to be given it immediately. You don't get to make all of the decisions in emotional situations involving other people.

It's a fine line to walk, I think. And I hope I'm walking it well, that my characters' emotional issues aren't overpowering the rest of the story but aren't suddenly disappearing and reappearing, leaving the reader to wonder what the heck is going on. I guess we'll find out.

How do you handle your characters' emotional decisions? What is your favorite book or film in which those decisions were made?

Guest blogger--R.F. Long

2009-02-26T17:40:00.002Z

Note: regular blogging will resume Monday. Thanks everyone!

R.F. Long is a regular commenter on my livejournal, and an all-around great gal. So when she mentioned she had a new release coming up--The Scroll Thief, from Samahin Publishing--I invited her to pop on over and write me a guest post. Which she has done, admirably. Why not pay her back by buying her book? Check this out:

Love is the wiliest thief of all.

A Tale of Ithian

Malachy and his sister rely on his talents as a thief to survive the dangerous streets of Klathport, former capital of the once-great kingdom of Ithian. Stealing a few papers should have been a simple job. Instead, it nearly costs their lives and throws them into an improbable alliance with a shape-shifting official, a desert tribeswoman, and a healer of enchanting beauty.

Cerys is far more than a simple healer—and the roots of her mission go deeper into the past than anyone can know. She needs Malachy’s skills to recover a stolen scroll, one that can be used to rewrite history and, in the wrong hands, release the dark powers of the Demon Realm.

Her mission was supposed to atone for a dreadful, long-ago act. Instead, it unleashes a chain of events which sees them pursued through city and desert by the fearsome Dune Witch and a killer known only as His Lordship. Romance, tragedy, and adventure blend in a tale of a magical land on the brink of war, and five unlikely allies who, by putting their lives—and their hearts—on the line, have the opportunity to finally set things right.

But at a terrible cost.

Awesome, right? So go on! After you read the post, of course. Or, no, you can go buy it and come back later, that's okay too.

Fantasy World Building

I love it when a novel seizes your attention, when you just can’t put it down until you find out what happens next. Many factors contribute to this magic spell – plot, characters, conflict – but nothing will undermine it as quickly as world building which causes the reader to pause, to question and to scratch their head and go “huh?”
World building in “real world” novels is in many ways easier – it’s a matter of research and depiction, of filtering the appropriate information through the story without info-dumping it all on page one. There’s a shorthand to it that a large number of your audience will understand immediately.

But in fantasy novels its easy too, isn’t it? You just make it all up as you go along and hope for the best. You just have to know where to start.

Well, not really. I find that the world building that works for me relies strongly on consistent use of interlocking elements and determined questioning of the elements that make up the world. Just like plotting, an author has to sound like a four-year old, when it comes to every part of their fantasy world – Why? Why? Why?
When you’re creating a brand new fantasy world, or even offering a new slant on a very old one, it pays to consider the history and geography that have created the civilisations, the social, political and economic backgrounds which have brought about the current circumstances, the religious and magical developments which alter everyday life.

Do the different races live in harmony or are they divided? Are there social castes or a rich/poor divide? What sort of ruling class control each country? How would a hereditary royal court in a feudal society react to the rise of a militant theocracy in the neighbouring country? What if previously dormant magic was activated in a public manner, in a country in which magic is outlawed? What if someone could break a curse that has plagued them for centuries, by turning back time and destroying the culture which has developed since?

Many fantasies dwell in a pseudo medieval European world populated with fantastic creatures and magical beings, so beautifully defined and parodied in Diana Wynne-Jones “Guide to Fantasy-land”, which has led many modern writers to seek alternatives. This has led to a stunning diversification in the fantasy environments we encounter today – Lian Hearn’s Otori saga, for example, is set in a fantasy version of medieval Japan.

My novel, “The Scroll Thief”, draws on my honeymoon in Andalusia, the area of southern Spain which in the middle ages was the Moorish realm of Al-Andalus, known for magnificent architecture, sciences, medicine and poetry. We visited magnificent palaces and gardens, and when I came to describe the Realm of Ithian and its shabbier descendent of Klathport, I had the perfect starting point. The echoes of a war between such a place, ruled by the family of a Goddess incarnate and a more visceral, secular land to the north. And with that basic set up, the questions began – Why? Why? Why?

Of course in knowing when to start with world-building, a writer also has to know when to stop. No one likes an info-dump and too much world-building laid out by an over-eager writer, determined to introduce their reader to the fabulous new world they have woven. As much as you might research, develop, and no matter how rich the tapestry you might weave, not everything can make it into the story. Ultimately, many elements might never be used, not in this story, but they are there, backing up the rest, supporting the world built to house the characters and their conflicts, to allow the plot to play out. In the end, it’s time to let the world building stand on its own, and let the story take over.

A few things

2009-02-16T20:23:00.002Z

Okay. First--and this is very exciting--Unholy Ghosts is available for pre-order on Amazon!!

Check it out!

Yes, as with Personal Demons, I will be doing fun contest-y things related to pre-ordering, listmaking, chat-topic-starting, etc. etc. And yes, if you do those things now you can enter them in the contest later. And yes, I will likely be doing the conest in the late summer/early fall--or whenever it is that I get ARCs--which means at least one if not more of you will be getting your hot little hands on a copy well in advance of the official release date.

Hee! Seriously, I am so excited.

I am also incredibly busy. I am halfway through the third Downside book at the moment and have set quite a lofty word goal for myself for this week; it's Princess's half-term week, which means I get to stay up a bit later to work.

So lofty is my goal, in fact....that I will not be here on Thursday. I just can't. I have set myself quite a task--30k words this week--and really need to get my butt in gear if I want to have this book finished by the end of the first week in March. Now, granted, my goal is actually 20k words on the Downside book and 10k on another project which Mr. Agent and I are very excited about and which I need to get out there quickly because, you know, we're moving in seven weeks (ACK!!) so after about the middle of March my working time is going to be severely curtailed.

So, sorry. I won't be blogging on Thursday. I may pop in with a quick little post if I have time but I probably won't.

And, sorry, this one is a bit short as well. I'd planned for it to be longer but I ended up getting caught up in something else for a little while and now it's almost nine PM and I have a LOT of work to do.

Sigh.

A novel in three acts: Act Three

2009-02-11T21:58:00.006Z

So, here we have the final act. It's the easiest to write, but the hardest to write about; at least, I think so.

Again, before we go further, remember: this is my way, and the way of a few writers I know. It is NOT the way of every writer I know; it is not the only way; it is not an iron-clad rule or something which requires complicated flow charts (although the post Patrice Michelle linked to in comments for the last post, which was a post she wrote about, essentially, keeping a flow chart, is a great post and a great method for people who can work that way) or strict word-count deadlines (I'm using a 90k book as an example, and ending the acts at 30k, 60k, and roughly 90k, but you may vary by as much as 10k words or whatever and that's fine). No secret gun-toting Writing Police are going to show up at your home in the dead of night and arrest you for not doing this or not doing it properly or whatever.

These are just guidelines. It's the way I keep the story from getting away from me and the way I keep my pacing on-target. It's not something to obsess about. It's not something to force yourself to do. As Patrice said, if you're writing your first novel or your second or you're still feeling your way through this writing thing (which we all are to some extent, really, no matter how many books we've written), don't get all tangled up in this. You can always go back later and see how you've done and fiddle with it then.

Okay?

So. We've now written our first act, in which we laid out all of our clues and introduced our main characters, and we ended that act with a bang. We've written our second act, where we deepened our mysteries and conflicts, and added depth to our subplots. We also ended the second act with a bang; hopefully a hell of a big one, which turned everything around, but again, this depends on the book.

Our third act is about solving our problems. Whodunnit? What happens with our detective Jennifer's grandma in the home and her ex-lover? Does she end up with him again, or is she suddenly realizing she's got a thing for one of the cops or the drug dealer or whatever? What deadly jeopardy is Jennifer in--or about the be in--when the second act ends, and will she survive act 3? Will anyone? In comments to the last entry Patrice and I discussed how the information a character receives shouldn't come easily. It's not true for everything but for most of it; well, that's where your story actually comes from, right? The difficulties and complications of getting necessary information and/or aid? It wouldn't be a very interesting book if in Chapter Four Jennifer found an eyewitness who told her exactly what happened, and then they just went and caught the Bad Guy, right? (Unless you're going for courtroom drama, of course.)

Anyway. Patrice suggested that sometimes information is paid for in lives, or in giving up things which are important to the characters. And that's very true. So the question of whether everyone survives to act 3, and whether everyone will survive act 3, is a pretty big one. What is your MC going to lose in the climax? What will she gain? Is what she gains going to be worth it?

I digress. The point is, Act 3 is where everything comes together. All those subplots we started, and all those clues we planted, all those threads we expanded on? It's time to wrap them up.

And it's fun. The tricky thing about the third act, though, is making it fun and interesting for the reader as well. Oh, sure, they're going to be interested in your climax and the solution to the mystery or resolution of whatever the conflict is. (Personally, I adore those big Agatha Christie-esque "drawing room" scenes; I don't need a lot of action, I just want to read those slowly and savor them.)

But they're not very fashionable anymore, so usually what we end up with is a big action-filled climax, and I love those too. But you have to have raised the stakes high enough. And you have to keep enough tension going, enough conflict going, that it doesn't feel like you're ticking things off a list.

I generally up the pacing in the third act, which I think helps; shorter scenes. More active ones. A little less internal monologue. The reader feels the tension building, even if they're not conscious of it; they know something is coming, because the shorter scenes move the book along faster, and of course they're aware of how far into the book they've gotten, but it's pacing and increasing conflict which really works magic when we near the book's climax.

To me the third act is like knocking down dominos, for lack of a less-cliched image. I've set all these things up; I have loose threads waving in the breeze. Now I start grabbing them and tying them together.

In act 2 we had Jennifer place her grandmother in a nursing home, which happened to be run by the mother of one of the victims. Now is the moment when one of the nurses at the home can make a casual comment which rings a bell in Jennifer's head; perhaps Jennifer realizes the nurse had a heretofore unguessed motive to kill the first victim. And the second. (I feel guilty making a nurse the Bad Guy, btw; my mother is an emergency room nurse. Sorry, Mom. For the record nurses are AWESOME.) And of course, she had access to the drug which killed them both.

Now Jennifer has to figure out how to get out of the room and call the police. Perhaps the nurse twigs on to Jennifer's newfound knowledge? And insists that she take Jennifer's grandma to get a spongebath or something? And the director of the home, who of course has no idea, backs her up. Now Jennifer's grandma is a hostage, and Jennifer knows the nurse will kill her. Maybe the nurse thought Jennifer had figured it out before, and slipped something into Jennifer's drink.

This is all well and good; we have a climax. But we have other subplots which need to be tied up, and we need to do it before we get into our climax; not all of them, necessarily, and of course if we're writing a series we need to leave some open-ended questions, but some of them.

How you do this is up to you (hey, I warned you the third act was hard to write about.) For a 90k book, I generally start the real run-up to my climax at around 70k; in the above example, this would be when Jennifer arrives at the home. That way we're around 75k or so when she gets drugged and solves the mystery; it gives us some room to play. Your runup may be longer; my climaxes tend to be longer, involving as they do complex rituals and secrets and abandoned asylums full of zombies.

But if you've set up your first two acts properly, really, the third will essentially write itself. Honestly. You'll have some scenes and resolutions in mind; you'll have arranged events in such a way that logic will move you smoothly from one scene to another. And that is extremely important. The last thing you or anyone wants or needs is one of those blink-and-you-miss-it climaxes, or one where everything just falls into place and it ends up being more of an anticlimax than a climax. We've all read books like that, where we fly through 320 pages of excitement and then the hero shoots and kills the bad guy and that's it.

You don't want to do that. You want to make sure you planted enough seeds, and grew them, in the first two acts, that there's plenty of stuff to work with at the end. You want to try and tie at least one subplot directly into your climax; in PERSONAL DEMONS I had the msytery of Megan's past; it was a minor point throughout the book but without it the climax never could have happened, and it figured prominently therein. In our Jennifer example, without Grandma and her poor health we wouldn't have solved the murders. Perhaps Jennifer's ex is involved here somehow too? Maybe he calls her and she says something, an old private joke, which warns him she's in trouble so he can call the cops? However you do it, the key (IMO) to an interesting and fulfilling climax is to bring as many story threads as you can into it, and end them all with the biggest bang you can muster.

Here's the thing about structures like these. Whether you're using a three-act structure or a four-act structure or a twenty-two-act structure (NO, I've never heard of that and know nothing about it, ha) is that at some point, you have to stop setting your book up.

It has to stop. Your book cannot be 300 pages of setup, a climax, and an ending. Well, okay, if you want to look at it a certain way, that's what all books are, but you know what I mean and don't pretend you don't.

The longer your subplots are part of your story, the more interesting and surprising and satisfying their resolution will be for the reader. The more danger you put your MC in, the more exciting the climax will be for the reader.

A book where subplots and plots do not carry through all the way feels episodic; it's not a story, it's a selection of vignettes. This why I stop adding new subplots to the book after the first third (again, I may make an exception if a new character is introduced, but chances are that's actually more of a setup for the next book). Because at some point you have to work with what is already there. You have to deepen and expand what is already there. You have to sink into your story and work at it from the inside, rather than throwing more stuff at it from the outside.

And that's the other big thing (aside from pacing) this structure does for me. It forces me to work with what is already there. I can't write a deux ex machina, because I have to work with what is already there. I can't veer out of the story and suddenly decide to change the focus, because I have to work with what is already there.

It keeps my books focused. It keeps my mind focused. It keeps my pacing even and makes sure my middles aren't long saggy stretches of not-much-happening. It gives me discipline, and discpline is tremendously important for a writer.

So there you go. :-) Like I said, I think the third act is very difficult to write about, because what it essentially boils down to is 'finish the book'. Pick up the seeds and hints and clues you dropped and make sure they have a solid place to land. Make sure you keep the tension high. Make sure you use everything you can in the climax. Remember that if you've written your book logically, so your climax and resolution will also come out logically.

And then you have a book.

Questions? Thoughts?

Oh...sigh

2009-02-09T18:33:00.010Z

And sigh again.

I wasn't going to talk about this, I really wasn't. Because I don't want to piss off or upset people. I certainly don't want to make readers, the lovely people who spend money on books, angry with me.

But I just...It's like the opinion is a pot of coffee, percolating in my chest, and it's going to explode. (Incidentally, I feel kind of weird thinking that nobody uses percolators anymore. My parents were never coffee drinkers, but my Grandpa was. And when he would come visit the smell of coffee and especially the sound of the percolator, that particular burble-sploosh noise, would wake me up in the mornings. I used to really like it; I was fascinated by the percolator and could never figure out quite how it worked, you know? All those childhood machines that seemed like magic to me, and none of them are in use anymore. The percolator, the 8-track tape, the flashlight that ran because of how fast you squeezed the trigger thingie...anyway. No time for this; this is going to be a little long anyway.)

So everybody knows about this Stephen King/Stephenie Meyer thing. Basically, Mr. King said in an interview that Ms. Meyer "can't write worth a darn."

And for reasons I cannot fathom, it's being treated like he said Hitler was a really good guy or something, or that in his spare time he enjoys molesting children.

Leaving aside the truth or lack thereof of his statement itself, and leaving aside the fact that although he claimed Meyer can't write worth a darn he did say he understood the appeal of the books...

So what?

There seem to be two schools of thought among the "Fry him! FRY HIM!" crowd. The first is that he's jealous of Meyer's success, which is, IMO, patently ridiculous. Stephen King is arguably the most successful writer the world has ever seen (and no, you cannot bring up the people who wrote the Bible or the Talmud of the Koran or whatever). No, I'm serious. Think about it for a minute. How long has the man been writing bestsellers? How many of his books or stories have been made into major films? Adapted for television? Turned into series? How many of those film adaptations have garnered Oscar nominations in any category?

Now think of one other author, living or dead, which that kind of success. ONGOING success. I suppose it's possible to argue that JK Rowling hits it, but King's written something like thirty books. JKR has not. Tolkein had massive, unprecedented success, but again, not as many books.

So the idea that Stephen King is jealous of Stephenie Meyer is silliness. I'm sorry but it is, and there's another reason why it is, and it ties into my whole feeling about this so I'll get to it in a minute.

First I want to address the other silliness surrounding this, which is the idea that writers shouldn't criticize other writers. Which is bullshit.

I'm not even going to discuss the fact that without writers criticizing other writers we would't have Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses. We wouldn't have Virginia Woolf's comment about Ulysses: "The work of a greasy undergraduate scratching his pimples." We wouldn't have ANY of Dorothy Parker's fantastic reviews; we wouldn't have any of Florence King's; we wouldn't have a huge, varied, and wonderful library of critique and wit and style. Since fucking when is it not okay for writers to comment on and criticize the work of other writers? In what world has that *ever* been the case?

I would say that it stopped being okay when women got in on it, since it seems to largely be women playing the "Stephen King's just plain mean!" card, but that isn't right at all. Especially not after I just quoted or mentioned three women in the last paragraph, not one of whom behaved as though a critique of her work was tantamount to touching little kids in their Swimsuit Areas.

But I suspect womanhood has something to do with it, yes I do. And that something is, everyone playing the "professional courtesy" card (professional courtesy, what a bunch of crap. We're writers, not fucking insurance salesmen) seems to be female, and more importantly, seems to be upset not that one writer is commenting on another writer's work, but that the commenting writer has a protruding pee-pee and the one being commented on does not.

I know.

But seriously. King said some not-very-nice things about a few male writers in that article too, but nobody seems to be jumping up and down all over the internets to say how Mr. King is just jealous of Mr. Patterson. In fact, no one seems at all bothered by the fact that not only did King call Petterson "a terrible writer," he didn't even qualify that statement anywhere by saying he sees the appeal of Patterson's work, or that Patterson has very cleverly tapped into something in his audience's collective subconscious.

So...why? Why does it seem okay for King to criticize Patterson, but not Meyer? Why isn't anyone throwing "jealous" around? Why isn't anyone acting as though writers are supposed to keep their mouths shut when we see each other butchering the language, as though we're all the very best of good, clean pals and every Saturday night we sing Kumbaya in the park and roast hot dogs?

Yeah. I think a big part of it is that Meyer is a woman. And I think there is a very ugly assumption beneath this, which is that a woman cannot take criticism. And sadly, I think there is a segment of the female writing "society," for lack of a better term, which truly cannot take criticism, who flounce around saying things like "If you've never written a book you can't criticize" or "It's hard work to write a book and the author deserves something for that and it's mean to say her book isn't very good" or whatever other whiny little excuses these namby-pambies toss around to justify their own total and complete lack of professionalism.

We've seen these people online. We see them all the freaking time, in fact. They're the ones who stalk Amazon reviewers or decide to name transexual AIDS-riddled prostitutes after people who give them mediocre reviews (and let's keep in mind, btw, what sort of person thinks "transexual" is a worthy insult) or send nasty emails to reviewers or start blogs where they put up nasty cartoons or send hate mail or have hissy fits in comments or whatever the fuck it is, and thus make all female writers look as though we too have never progressed beyond the 9th grade.

This attitude seriously makes me ill. You know what, gang? I seriously doubt Stephenie Meyer gives a fuck what Stephen King says. And good, because she shouldn't. I love Stephen King. I think he's fantastic. And I would love to think he'd read my work and enjoyed it; that would be a huge thrill. But you know what? if he loved it, that's just one man's opinion. And if he hated it? That's still just one man's opinion.

And jealous? Why is this argument so rarely brought up when two men are involved? Why do we hardly ever see someone claiming, for example, that Steve Jobs is just jealous of Bill Gates? or that, I don't know, Javier Bardem is just jealous of Benicio del Toro? Not that I'm aware of these men making comments about each other, but really, can you imagine it? So why then, does this crap come up when women are involved? Stephen King is a grown man, people, and I don't know about you but I've never seen anything before that would lead me to believe he's the kind of man for whom jealousy of other writers is a problem. Have you?

Stephenie Meyer is a published author; she's written four enormous bestsellers. Let's give her a little credit, shall we? Let's assume she's mature enough to shrug this off and go on writing, and not behave as though she's crying in the bathrooms by the gym and she won't come out until Stephen writes her a note that says he's sorry and gee, golly, the dance is tonight and she was our ride and we're gonna get Stephen and pants him in the cafeteria?

We're all entitled to our opinions. (In fact, one could argue that Meyer is one of the few people Stephen King can actually criticize *without* looking like a bully; who else is big enough?) And in the grand scheme of things, this is such a non-issue it's not even funny.

I was going to tell you about a book I bought the other day, which I haven't finished, but which is so well-written my jaw keeps literally dropping open--but that will have to wait until next Monday, because this is so long already. Sigh.

A novel in three acts: Act Two

2009-02-05T12:53:00.003Z

First, thanks to everyone who responded to this last week! Your questions and feedback were very much appreciated.

Patrice Michelle brought up an excellent point at Fangs Fur & Fey, though, and it was one I failed to stress adequately in my little disclaimery thing. Guys, this is NOT the only way to write books, and it is NOT something you should get hung up about. Seriously. It isn't. Even I, who loves doing this with my books, do not look at it as gospel.

From Patrice's comment:

For new writers, the goal is to just write the story and then once it's written, go back and look at advice like this to see if it can help you tighten and streamline your story to give it the most impact to readers.

And this is exactly true. Just as there is no magic bullet to finish your book, there is no one exact right way to write. If stuff like this bogs you down, don't do it. If it feels too tight, don't do it. You can, as she said, ignore this while writing and go back later once it's done and see how it works for you. But please don't ever think that because you handle things differently, you're not "doing it right." Whatever works for you? That's what's right. Period.

For me this is just a way of keeping track and making sure I'm pacing correctly. When I hit 30k words, have I put in all my basic clues? Have I laid the groundwork? Have I given myself plenty to work with and expand later? Are all the characters introduced who need to be, is the basic set-up of the world and story clear?

And there's a little more to that as well; simply being 1/3 done is a little achievement. Writing a novel is hard work. When you first start out it can seem daunting. But once you get through the first 30k, you know you can do it. You only have to do another 30k and you'll be in the end zone. And that's a good feeling.

So. Last week I mentioned pacing. Anyone who's spent any time reading about writing is familiar with the phrase "sagging middle." The sagging middle hits all of us at one point or another; it is, basically, the long stretch of book from, well, 30-60k words or so, where...not much happens. The story falters. The characters start spending too much time thinking or talking and not enough time doing.

This is also, to put it bluntly, where characters start acting stupid. This is where, in our eagerness to have *something* happen, we send our characters alone into dark alleys, or have them pick fights with each other, or any number of things. Bad things.

It is my firm belief that the main cause of the sagging middle is pacing, and that the main cause of pacing problems is failure to allow for structure. There are other reasons, of course; too much telling is a big one, too. But I'm assuming you all know the basic rules of writing (such as they are) and so are not writing a book that's nothing but a big long infodump.

We have pacing problems because we have inserted too much information into our first Act, and we have pacing problems because we have not given ourselves enough clues to work with.

It sounds like an oxymoron, I know. But let's go back to last week's example, Jennifer the detective with the elderly grandma and the just-ended relationship.

Our story started when a body was found. Let's say there was no obvious cause of death. Now, using the three-act structure, we can make a decision; do we want to find out the cause of death before the act ends, thus giving ourselves the second act to explore it? Or do we want to wait, maybe pile up at least one more body?

It's up to you and the story you're telling. But if you're not thinking in terms of using Act One for clues and Act Two for expansion, if you're not using that first act to thoroughly ground your characters and their world and introduce some issues for them to deal with, you may find yourself with no choice but to give us a cause of death, simply because something has to happen next. If you've gotten too deeply into your subplots in the first act you may not have room to add complications to them in the second act, either.

Here's the thing. If in the first 30k you have introduced plenty of characters and situations, the second act will essentially write itself, and I'll tell you why.

Because of logic.

Your entire second act is simply adding more complications and doing what would logically come next.

For example. At the end of Act One Jennifer finds another body. In the beginning of Act Two she learns cause of death. So what would Jennifer logically do next? She would start studying/researching that cause of death. Let's say it was an overdose; a particularly pure, new form of heroin. Okay. We learned a little about our first victim in the first act (because we were planting clues). So we know the victim was not an IV drug user; that's a dead end.

To gran a few examples from mid-air, Jennifer might now logically start talking to drug dealers or users. That could be a nice suspenseful scene, her interview with a tough local drug dealer. That could have enormous complications that might effect the main plot; it could draw some new people into the case, perhaps, or cause jennifer problems with the police.

And we have her grandma. The poor lady might have a stroke at the end of Act One and thus be in the hospital. The plot if to some degree resolved; Jennifer knows that her grandma can no longer safely stay with her. But that introduces new complications; Jennifer has to research homes and residences. Perhaps she decides to kill two birds with one stone, and go to the residence where the first murder victim's mother works? That might provide us with a nice way to tie those subplots together later, right?

So already we have some action for the second act; we're meeting drug dealers and having wary conversations with them--perhaps a flirtation, depending on what kind of book this is?--and we're getting involved more closely with a victim's family and trying to find a place for grandma and expanding conflict with the cops. When we add that to researching the second victim and trying to find connections between them--perhaps they went to the same college, and Jennifer can go there and discover they had a class together? we've got a good 15-20k or so worth of action.

Any time you get stuck in writing that second act, every time you feel the story flagging, you have only to stop and think back or look back at your first act. What seeds did you plant there that now need to grow a little? Maybe in the midst of all the turmoil with meeting scary drug dealers and putting her beloved grandma in a home, Jennifer's ex shows up and wants to get back together, there's a complication. Maybe the college connection falls through but it's there that Jennifer gets another idea for a possible motive, one she needs to explore. Your Bad Guy should show up again, for whatever reason; let Jennifer interact with him/her, however briefly. Let her feel close to or uncomfortable with the BG.

Your second act is all about expansion and information. Otherwise known as "the plot thickens." The second act is where a new clue or two turns up; the second act is where you might illustrate a connection between one of your subplots and the main plot.

And remember, nothing should be easy; we need conflict on every page! You don't want Jennifer to just meet someone who tells her who the Bad Guy is in exchange for money; you want them to tease her with the info, make her perform tasks, put her in danger. Information should be a reward or compensation, never (or very rarely) a given.

There are two other things I like to do/check with Second Acts. One, just as the first ended with a bang, so should the second. An even bigger bang (sometimes literally, heh heh; see below). I used Silence of the Lambs last week, so I'll mention it again here; Dr. Lecter's escape comes right around the end of the second act.

The other is, by the end of the second act, I like to leave the reader with no idea how things are going to work out, or who the bad guy is. I like to know, at the end of the second act, that all of my main threads are still loose but are closing in on each other; I like to be in a position where there's only one more big clue, or one more fact to be uncovered, before everything falls into place and we're ready for the climax. I like to think of someone reading to that point and thinking there are so many open holes there, there's no way they can all be resolved by the end.

Now, I write UFs with thriller-y, mystery plots; you may write romance, in which case the end of the second act is right about where you'll put your big sex scene and have it make everything even worse. (The end of the second act is a place I tend to put sex scenes as well and always have, and I'm not alone. I think most romances or UFs with romantic elements do the same; it's usually a bit past the halfway point, so anywhere from 50-60k words, but again, that's not set in stone and of course if you're writing a more heavily erotic story you may well have had sex all throughout.)

But the end-of-act-2 bang should put everything in jeopardy. It should leave the reader doubting they'll get a happy or even a decent ending. It should raise the stakes exponentially.

So, to sum up (and I realize this segment was a bit longer and wordier, sorry, but I think I covered everything I needed to):

*The second act should be about expansion and information.
*The second act is the logical next step of the first; I always think "What would they do next?"
*The second act is where you watch your first-act seeds grow. Don't forget them!
*The second act is where everything gets deeper and more complex. You can solve a msytery or two and that's fine, but you should bring some new ones in to replace it, or have the resolution of one question only bring up more questions.
*The second act is a good place for sex scenes ;-)
*Nothing should be easy; good information or realizations are worth paying for. Keep the conflict high, don't let that middle sag!
*The second act must end with a very big complication; just as the 1st-act-end raised the stakes or made the problem more personal or trapped the hero/ine into solving the mystery, so the second should make it clear there is no out, this is very dangerous, and they have no choice but to follow through. Thus setting us up for Act Three and the climax.

So, any questions? Anything that doesn't make sense, or needs expansion?

Yes! The new League! Yes! I am busy!

2009-02-02T20:52:00.002Z

Yes, yes, those rumors you've been hearing? Totally true.

The NEW League of Reluctant Adults is here!

There's a TON of us now, seriously. A whole bunch. Go check it out. AND, there are FORUMS! Which I'm really happy about, because I love forums. Seriously. A lot of you know I spend a lot of time--waaaay more than I should--hanging around on Absolute Write. Because I just think forums are fun and nifty and all that stuff.

I even have my own subforum on the new Reluctant Forums; each of us has one, in fact.

This means I now have:

*a website (still under construction; there is a site up but it's horrible
*two blogs
*Twitter
*Facebook
*MySpace (grumble grumble. I hate MySpace. I will probably delete the MySpace page eventually; I never do anything with it.)
*Yahoo group

So is there anything *else* I'm supposed to have? Sigh.

So, remember the other day when I mentioned how January just sucked? Yeah. So far, February is TOTALLY KICKING ITS ASS ALL OVER THE PLACE. I've written over 10k words in the last two days. I have a new project that I'm falling-all-over-myself excited about. Seriously. The kind of shivery, gleeful excitement I felt when I started working on Unholy Ghosts. I started the thing yesterday; finished the third chapter tosay and wrote up a little synopsis/proposal, so we'll see what Mr. Agent Man thinks of it. I can only hope he likes it as much as me.

Also listed under "Ass-kicking" so far is the third Downside book. Oh yes. We crossed 30k; I have one little scene to twitch through and then all hell breaks loose, including getting to write a few scenes I've been anticipating with glee since I thought of them while writing the first book over a year ago(! I can't believe it's been that long! I finished the book in December 07, though, so...yeah, that long.) So, *very* excited there.

And of course I'll be back on Thursday to do Part 2 of our Novel in Three Acts. Part 2 is my favorite part, frankly; or rather, it's my favorite part to explain. So I'm looking forward to that. Last week I cross-posted the first part over at Fangs Fur &Fey, the livejournal group for published UF writers, and it got such a great response that I'm going to post the whole thing there as it goes up here. So if you're interested in getting in on that discussion, head on over and check it out!

It's kind of intimidating posting at Fangs Fur Fey. I've been a member there for over a year as well; a little over a year and a half, in fact, if memory serves. But there are so many members, some with multiple series and awards and all that Big Pro Writer stuff, that it's very difficult to think of myself as anyone who belongs there in any real way. I'm trying to get more involved there, as a way to give back and to try and boost my confidence level, so... We'll see how I do. :-)

...and I guess that's it. I thought I had something more to discuss but frankly my head is all over the place at the moment. That blasted miserable shiteating Mercury Retrograde has finally ended and I literally feel like I can breathe again (despite the cold. Or maybe because of it? Perhaps it's not Mercury redirecting, but Sudafed, that is to thank for my sudden sense of lightness. Hmm.) Hence the sudden big spurt of work and happiness and all of that. I'm sure part of it is that I was having a bit of tension with someone I consider a friend and we've resolved that, which is nice, and part of it is excitement over the upcoming scenes and the Shiny! New! Project! All I know is, for the first time in a while I feel pretty good, and I want to keep it that way.

How about you? Are you feeling better now that Mercury is behaving itself again?

A novel in three acts: Act One

2009-01-29T12:23:00.007Z

So, first, sorry. I didn't post on Monday. It was a Bad Day. I've been having a lot of those lately, but Monday was particularly Bad and I honestly just couldn't get my head around anything well enough to blog. So, sorry about that.

Seriously, is this month over yet? It's been AWFUL. One of the worst months I've ever had; I feel bruised all over from the beating it's given me. Part of it might be the Mercury retrograde; part of it might just be that it's January and the weather is a neverending stream of miserable (and has been for two years.) Whatever it is, I just want to go crawl under the covers and hide.

But of course I cannot. :-) I have kids to raise and a novel, a short story, and a proposal to write. So, no hiding for me. And actually, although it's been a slow month, the novel is coming along and so is the proposal (haven't started the short yet) so I feel good about that; I'm 25k or so into the third Downside book, which I'm calling CITY OF GHOSTS for now (although I'm not sure how unique that is, so we'll see if I get to keep it. It might end up being something like UNDERGROUND GHOSTS or maybe GHOSTS UNBOUND. Don't know. Reminder to self: Google "City of ghosts" and see what you get.) Shame, really, as it's the perfect title for what I think is going to be a kickass book; I'm actually extremely pleased with it so far, which is nice. I have a couple more clues to drop in this first third and my subplots are simmering along nicely.

See, here's what I do. I separate the novel, in my head, into three parts; assuming a 90k book, which of course it won't be exactly--the final version of UNHOLY GHOSTS is about 98k; DOWNSIDE GHOSTS before edits is about 101k. So we'll see. Anyway.

It occurred to me that this particular way of structuring a book might interest some of you, so here's what I'm going to do. This Thursday and the next two I'm going to outline my basic method; feel free to ask questions at the end of each post and I'll answer them the following Thursday, and we'll do a little summary at the end.

So. Why would you want to do this? Why would you want to structure your books this way? What is the benefit of it?

I can only answer what the benefit is for me, and how it helps me organize my thoughts and work, and the ways in which I feel it's improved my writing. Honestly I think most of you probably do this anyway, either consciously or unconsciously.

I'm not an outliner or planner. I start my books with a couple of characters and a problem which needs solving. Occasionally I'll have a couple of ideas for Big Scenes in my head, but that's really it. An idea excites me and I start writing, period. If you are an outliner or planner, this may not be necessary for you or, again, you probably already do this. And as with any other writing advice I give, this is my way and only mine; it's not in any way a "You must do it this way" or "This is the best way". But I mentioned my little structure elsewhere and a few people really liked it, so I thought why not share it a little more widely.

Also keep in mind that if your projected word counts are shorter, you will of course need shorter thirds, and especially remember this is not set in stone. Every book is different. Every book will have its own needs. You do not have to do this the way I do in order to write well, not at all, not remotely.

So. Here is what this does for me:

**It improves pacing. Separating the book into three 30k chunks, and knowing basically what purpose each chunk has to serve, gives me a structure on which to hang my wild imaginings (hee). Also, because of the way each "Act" is set up, it draws the reader into the story at a predictable pace and keeps the flow of information steady.

**It gives me a much stronger first draft. You pantsers know exactly what I'm talking about here. By the time our book is finished we have so many clues we need to go back and add, so many changes that need to be made, it's like rewriting the book. But keeping the structure in mind makes it easier for me to fit in anything I might need; I know where the additional info needs to go or from where it needs to be removed.

**It means I'm not cramming to fit things in at the end, or left with too many loose ends.

**It eliminates the problem of the "sagging middle". I believe the sagging middle is a pacing/information problem; sagging middles occur when too much information is given in the beginning of a story. By structuring my books this way I make sure there's plenty of action throughout.

Assuming a book is 90k words, by the end of the first third--or 30k--I need to have all my basic information in place:

*Who the major players are. The bad guy needs to be introduced here, even if--as is usually the case--the reader is unaware that s/he is the bad guy. Hell, I'm not usually aware at this point who the bad guy is, especially given how much I enjoy my red herrings. So I usually set up two or three likely suspects here. I can always edit later to strengthen or remove the connections, once I figure out who the Baddie really is. We also need, of course, the main characters.

*The basic plot. What is the mystery or problem we're solving? A lot of people will tell you this should be in the first chapter, and they're not wrong. The sooner the better. But I'm also a fan of the Indiana Jones opening, whereby the first chapter is an intro to character and action that clears up events which occurred before the book's opening. So I feel that as long as we introduce the issue in those first three chapters, we're good.

*At least one subplot, hopefully two. They don't have to be delved too deeply into in the first 10k or so, but by the end of 30k they should be (and we're going to go into the structure of each act itself as well). But the basic stage needs to be set early, in this first act. For example, in PERSONAL DEMONS, Megan's interview with Brian. We also met our Ultimate Baddie in those first chapters and added our little subplot with the vision of the Yezer's house on the astral plane. And of course we met our romantic lead as well and (hopefully) had a nice little attraction/irritation vibe going fairly quickly, at least by the end of that 30k.

ALL THE BASIC CLUES NEED TO BE IN PLACE BY THE END OF THE FIRST ACT.

This doesn't mean at all that by the end of the first act the mystery would be solvable. Oh, no. Not at all. But everything that comes later has to build on what's already in those first 30k words. No deus ex machinas for us; we need to lay our groundwork.

For example, let's say we're writing a murder mystery. It can be set in any world, from "normal" to total fantasy.

For example, let's say we're writing a murder mystery. It can be set in any world, from "normal" to total fantasy.

So, in the first 10-15k words we want to introduce:

Our main character
Sidekicks, if any
The mystery itself
The bad guys
The world we're in
Our basic clues

Is the murderer out for revenge? Then we might want to mention, in that first section, how many people loved (or hated) the victim. Out for money? Then we mention how rich (or poor) the victim was. We might introduce some physical clues here; the bloody knife or gun, say. Or there may be no obvious cause of death, and we introduce the cause at the very end of this act (we may even wait until the second act, but if that's the case we should have a lot of other stuff going on.)

And in the second 15k or so we want to start exploring the word, pick up a few additional clues, and get to our first Major Complication (beyond the basic plot-laying one).

Every act ends with action and deepening conflict.

Well, technically, every sentence, ever scene, every page, needs to deepen conflict, of course. But for the sake of our structure we're going to focus on Major Conflict.

To go back to our murder mystery, let's say our MC is Jennifer, a private detective. The subject of one of jennifer's investigations turns up dead, and she decides to work with the police--or behind their backs, perhaps--to solve the crime for whatever reason.

It's a pretty basic plot and one I think we're all fairly familiar with.

So our first act is the dead body, the introduction of Jennifer and her frenemies on the force, the world, whatever. And we pick up info here and there, and perhaps we learn that Jennifer is debating whether to put her grandmother in a home, and Jennifer's just broken up with a lover, and Jennifer needs a new car, or whatever.

We'll probably have some excitement in those chapters, and some uncoverings. But it's right around the end of that first act that things go from bad to worse. Jennifer is attacked at her home. Or a witness is found dead. Or she's kidnapped. Or the police tell her in a very shady way to get the heck out of their investigation.

Whatever the plot is, the end of the first act is where you generally put:

*A major action scene
*A major complication

Preferably at the same time. That first 30k has to encourage the reader to keep going; you want the end of that act to be an "Oh crap" moment, you know what I mean? I tend to think of those, and of those major action scenes, as "beats", and each act should end with or right around a beat.

This isn't to say at all that you shouldn't be having those moments as you go, because of course you should. But the end of that first act is where everything rolls on its side; it's where the MC finds him or herself in jeopardy somehow or where someone else is put in jeopardy (like, for example, the kidnapping of Catherine Martin in Thomas Harris's Silence of the Lambs, to pull an example out of my--ahem--hat. The abduction, in fact, occurs on page 104 of my copy [I just went upstairs and grabbed it], which is 352 pages long, and is especially masterful there as just a few pages before Harris showed us the autopsy of a Buffalo Bill victim. Thus at the end of that book's "first act" we have a graphic representation of how different this killer is; we have a significant clue in the throat larvae; and we have the abduction--so we know exactly what is waiting for that girl.)

The end of the first act is where the stakes jump higher. It's not just an investigation anymore; this time it's personal, if you know what I mean. Something Bad Has Happened. It's going to happen again, unless we stop it. There's often--again, as in Silence--a time factor introduced here too. Either way, this is where everything that's come so far raises to a fever pitch, and the reader is (hopefully!) left breathlessly anticipating the second act, where everything gets deeper and more complicated.

Remember, none of this is set in stone. All stories are different. It's just a guideline.

So. Any questions? What do you think; is this a structure you use? Do you keep these things in mind as you work?

Late and Light

2009-01-22T17:40:00.002Z

Yeah, I know. I don't know where my day has gone, but I've spent a good portion of it kicking ass on the third Downside book, so I'm feeling pretty good about it.

I have a couple of really exciting things to say today that do NOT involve me, though!

FIRST, my pal Stacey Jay, who write kick-ass, hilarious paranormal YA, has her first release today and OMGYOUMUSTBUYIT. YOU ARE SO UNDEAD TO ME was listed by Publisher's Weekly as a "Spring Galley to Grab" for 2008; Kidliterate Reviews called it ""...a cross between Stephenie Meyer and Joss Whedon.....high school angst with more than a dash of otherworldly danger."

Megan Berry's social life is so dead. Literally.

Fifteen-year-old Megan is a Zombie Settler by birth, which means she's part-time shrink to a bunch of dead people with a whole lot of issues.

And things are about to get even worse. Someone at school is using black magic to turn average, angsty Undead into flesh-eating Zombies and it's up to Megan to stop the zombie apocalypse...

Now...Stacey is awesome, and is one of my incredible crit partners. So I got to read this one waaaay back in the beginning; I got to beg for more when it was done, and I've realy read the sequel, UNDEAD MUCH, which is even scarier, funnier, and awesomer (I'm making it a word!) than the first one, which is already chock-full of scary, funny awesomeness.

And I'm sure I don't have to tell you all that while it's all well and good to buy the book from Amazon, it's even better to head out to the bookstore near you and buy it there. Stimulate the economy and save our bookstores, okay? Because we need them, bad.

Run, don't walk. I promise you, you will enjoy the book.

And after you grab that one, I have another one! An adult one. An awesome, awesome, totally kickass urban fantasy; STREET MAGIC, the first book in Caitlin Kittredge's upcoming "Black London" series.

Again, I was lucky enough to read this one in ms format, and I am seriously jonesing for it to come out in print. Seriously. WANT. It is, I believe, the best UF I've read, and I mean no disrespect to any of my beloved UF-writing pals. Just that this book has something I hadn't, and haven't seen yet, and I seriously loved it.

And you can too! Because although STREET MAGIC won't be released for a while yet--June 2, sigh; I'll be back in the US before I get to hold that gorgeous cover in my hands--if you are a book blogger or a commercially published author, you can get yourself a digital pre-ARC ARC! How's that for cool?

From Caitlin's blog:

Here's some excellent news for book bloggers and authors who blog:

St. Martin's Press, who publishes both of my adult series at the moment, is offering a sneak peek of /Street Magic/, Book 1 of the Black London series, to the blogging community as a way to say thank you for their continued support of my work.

All I ask in return is a little bit of blogging action about the novel.

Here's the flap copy:

/Her name is Pete Caldecott. She was just sixteen when she met Jack Winter, a gorgeous, larger-than-life mage who thrilled her with his witchcraft. Then a spirit Jack summoned killed him before Pete's eyes--or so she thought. Now a detective, Pete is investigating the kidnapping of a young girl from the streets of London...a case that brings her face to face with Jack./

/Strung out on heroin, Jack is a shadow of his former self. But he's able to tell Pete exactly where Bridget's kidnappers are hiding: in the supernatural shadow-world of the fae. Pete follows Jack into the fae underworld, where she hopes to discover the truth about what happened to Bridget..and what happened to Jack on that dark day so long ago.../

If you're a book blogger or a commercially published author who blogs, and you're interested in reading an electronic, advance galley of /Street Magic/ (ARC's won't be printed for another couple of months), please leave a comment with a link to your blog and an email address where the galley can be sent.

NOTE: You need to leave a comment at Caitlin's blog, on this post here.

Seriously, you guys, I am not kidding. I loved STREET MAGIC. Passionately. And I loved YOU ARE SO UNDEAD TO ME. Passionately. Go to the bookstore. Buy UNDEAD. Hell, place a pre-order at the desk for STREET MAGIC as well, so that on release day you can trot on down and get a copy; trust me, after reading the digital ARC you will totally want one.

And that's basically it. I had more to say today, but my bloggy thoughts have all been erased by the fact that, in addition to having her school uniform sweatshirt (it's the uniform here; a sweatshirt with the school color and the school crest on it) STOLEN while she was in PE last week--they make the kids change into PE clothes and leave their own clothes in the classroom (don't get me started on that alone), today she was not allowed to participate in PE at all. Why? BECAUSE DURING THE WEEK, WHILE SHE'S BEEN HOME SICK, SOMEONE HAS STOLEN HER PE KIT AS WELL.

AND, her PE kit, because of the freezing weather, contained two of MY long-sleeved undershirts. So, two of my own tops, which I wear fairly often, AND her special frigging gym shoes, AND a pair of socks, AND her new warm-up pants, were stolen. While the teaching assistants there--who, I have been informed, should not be expected to do a good or responsible job because "they don't get paid much"--apparently were not paying any attention at all.

So, I am ready to scream and hit people and things, basically.

But you should still go buy YOU ARE SO UNDEAD TO ME! And contact Caitlin! And pre-order STREET MAGIC! AT THE BOOKSTORE!!! Because it's important, and you'll be glad you did.

And it just might help to alleciate some of my rage, if you do.

A little Bonus Post

2009-01-21T11:33:00.006Z

I know! It's Wednesday! This is a Bonus Post!

Okay, well, let me get this out of the way first. Remember last week when I told y'all about the arrangement between Juno and Pocket regarding my book(s)?

Well...I wasn't entirely honest. Or rather, I was, but I was only telling you what you had already been told; the Amazon listing and S&S page were there, in public, for anyone in the world to see, and judging by the number of emails I received before I made the announcement, a hell of a lot of the world had already seen it.

But NOW I can tell you the best part, which is...it's not just me. Juno Books has in effect become an imprint of Pocket Books. This is the press release:

POCKET BOOKS IN CO-PUBLISHING AGREEMENT WITH JUNO BOOKS
TO PUBLISH CONTEMPORARY FANTASY FICTION

New York, New York (January 19, 2009) – Louise Burke, Executive Vice President and Publisher of Pocket Books, has announced a new co-publishing agreement with Juno Books, best known for contemporary fantasy novels that emphasize strong female protagonists in richly imagined contexts. Juno will become an imprint of Pocket Books, publishing one title per month with the first release, AMAZON INK by Lori Devoti, slated for June 2009.
Juno Books began its publishing program in Fall 2006 and quickly became noted in the fantasy fiction genre for such breakout successes as Carole Nelson Douglas and Stacia Kane and garnering critical acclaim for many of their titles.
“Pocket Books and Juno Books are a great fit,” said Louise Burke. “We’ve seen great growth in this category, are delighted to now have a dedicated line, and look forward to helping to cultivate a wider audience for Juno’s terrific roster of authors.”

Juno Books Editor Paula Guran said: "I'm tremendously excited about the opportunity to help take Juno to the next level through our association with Pocket Books. Both Juno and fantasy readers in general will gain immensely by sales and marketing reach of Pocket Books and Simon & Schuster, while still getting the best of our editorial sensibility."

Pocket Books Senior Editor Jennifer Heddle will work in concert with Juno Books Editor Paula Guran.

So. My Demons books and all Juno books will now be released by Pocket.

Does this make me a Pocket author? Well. Honestly? Not as far as I'm concerned. I signed my deal with Juno; it somehow feels to me as though to run around calling myself a Pocket author is a little grandiose; distasteful. I didn't make a deal with Pocket, I made a deal with Juno. While I am of course absolutely thrilled by this news, and thrilled to be working with Pocket and to have the opportunity, hopefully, to work more with Pocket in future, until I'm offered a contract that says "Simon & Schuster" at the top I'm not going to behave as though I personally dealt with Pocket since the beginning. Nor do I claim that I "write for" Pocket; to date I haven't actually written anything for Pocket. I've written two books for Juno, which Pocket has acquired (not sure what the sitch is for PD but I'm saying "two"; that's not an announcement of any kind). To me to run around saying I "write for" Pocket implies that they have offered me contracts themselves, on new work, and that they have asked for more, and that is not yet the case. Juno acquired me, and that's that. So we'll see what happens, and I'd absolutely love to be able in future to say I am in fact a Pocket author. But my own hatred of pretentiousness forbids it at the moment.

Anyway. I actually started this post because I was going to talk a little about the inauguration and how it's great that we're all so proud again but we should be proud every day simply by virtue of being good people, but I've decided it's too political--even though it's actually not at all political, it could be read as being political--and deep and it's not something I want to get into. So, you'll have to make do with this.

And I'll be back tomorrow. :-)

Cookbooks. And a recipe. And a few other things.

2009-01-19T15:05:00.003Z

Yes, it's a recipe! I know, I haven't posted one of these in quite a while; I'm actually considering putting a page on my new website for them all, or would that be lame? What do you think?

Anyway. Most of the recipes I've posted have been my own inventions. This one isn't. It's taken from Nigella Lawson's "How to Eat", which is one of my absolute favorite cookbooks in the world ever. Certainly out of all the cookbooks I own, this one is my favorite that was written after about 1980.

Okay, I started to put this little rant in parentheses but decided it was too long to be parenthetical. I buy most of my cookbooks from used bookstores, or especially from antique/antiquarian bookstores, for one simple reason. Good recipes.

The thing is, most modern cookbooks aren't written for people who enjoy cooking or who cook on a regular basis. They're just not. They're written--so it seems to me--for people who enjoy reading and eating more than cooking; for those who enjoy "food porn"; for those who cook once a week, an elaborate Saturday or Sunday lunch or brunch.

I like those books, I do. I own a few and love to look through them. But they are not practical at all. I am a stay-home Mom, as you guys know. I cook dinner for four people at least five nights a week (usually six, but we do have the occasional Leftovers Night, or fish & chips craving, or whatever, so I'm saying five even though it's usually six or seven). When you cook dinner for four people, six nights a week, you do not have the time to spend on these ten-step recipes every night. Nor do you have the money for some of the ingredients in those books. Nor, especially, is there a snowball's chance in Hell that your four- and seven-year-old daughters are going to even consider eating anything served on a bed of crispy-fried frissee lettuce, with capers, and bearnaise sauce, and whatever else. Seriously. I love those cookbooks. But I cannot actually cook from them; I do not have the money or the equipment or time, and I need to cook food that my children will actually eat.

Older cookbooks were written for housewives who had to cook for their families and their picky children. The recipes in them are less expensive. They use more common ingredients; no hunting around for passionfruit or beef marrow. No dirtying dozens of pots and pans. And that's what I need.

I also feel that modern cookbooks are waaaay too full of salads and desserts. You know, I know how to make a salad, and I rarely make or eat dessert. I don't need those recipes, I need main courses. Actual food. Not thirty different salads that are really all the same; it's a freaking salad, you know?

And that's one reason I love Nigella's book. I love her, frankly. I love how the book reads more like a novel than a cookbook. (Funnily enough the few negative Amazon reviews are from people who don't like this; they just want recipes and pictures.) It's like a little wander through someone's culinary life, and it's a lot of fun. And while I admit some of the recipes don't appeal to me, some of them do, and are delicious (although I do wish she would stop putting chiles in everything as I cannot take spicy food with my delicate stomach.)

Anyway. This is for gooey chocolate puddings. And they are fantastic. I made them New Year's Eve. This is the kind of recipe I love because it looks really complex and sophisticated when you serve it; it's like a little chocolate cake still all melty in the center. And I could never figure out how that works, and now I know.

Preheat oven to 400F; turn it on at least half an hour before you want to cook the puddings so it will be nice and evenly hot.

4 1/2 oz high quality chocolate, chopped. (4 1/2 oz is 125g; see what measurement the chocolate bar uses. I'd make sure the chocolate is at least 70% cocoa solids. Also, I used "Mayan dark" chocolate, with spices, do you know the kind I mean? It has a little cinnamon and stuff. It was really good, but plain choc would be fine.)

8 Tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter (I only had salted and it was fine, so I wouldn't worry about that too much)

3 large eggs

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

In a saucepan (or double-boiler, if you're fancy) melt the butter and chocolate together slowly, stirring fairly often.

In a bowl, whisk together the eggs, sugar, and flour until just blended. It will be this weird sort of translucent yellowy goo. Slowly whisk in the chocolate mixture; set aside.

Butter four 1-cup ramekins (I used my special heart-shaped Le Creuset Xmas gift remekins! Oh joy! I felt *very* grown-up and special) and flour them. Pour the misture into the ramekins--mine were filled just over halfway--and set them on a baking sheet, in the middle of the oven, for 10-12 minutes, until the tops are firm and cracking slightly and the edges are set. I'd actually give them maybe a minute more; oven temps vary a little so keep an eye on them.

Serve immediately, with cream. I'm not usually a fan of simply pouring cream over things--I used single cream, which is like half-and-half I think, but you could use whipping cream too. It doesn't need to be whipped (though you can, I didn't), just pour some of it over after you've taken the first couple of bites.

The thing is, these are *very* gooey and *very* hot inside, and *very* chocolatey. So the cream is cool, and actually does provide a little relief from the strong chocolate flavor, so it adds a nice contrast. So I would definitely have the cream. I liked it much better with than without, and so did the hubs. Loooovely.

A few more things:

Friday night I was hanging out on Twitter, wishing AW was up (I've heard it's back now but haven't had time to go check yet), and I got into a fun little chat with Colleen Lindsay, who is probably one of the most--if not the most--successful new agents to, um, start agenting, in the past few years. She's with Fine Print, an excellent agency, and is the living embodiment of my "A new agent at an established agency is a good bet" dictum. Anyway. I thought Colleen was a nice, friendly sort, until she practically throttled me and pushed my face in a muddy puddle until I agreed to allow her to set up a Facebook page for me. I gave in.

So now I have a Facebook page. Which some of you already know because I Friended you. If I didn't friend you, it's because I did not know you were there, so please don't hesitate to friend me if you want.

I'm actually really enjoying Facebook so far. Much more adult than MySpace, which you all know I loathe. We'll see if it becomes a major timesuck; so far I've been doing okay.

A terrifying thing happened Saturday night. No, really. Hubs went to his Mum's on Friday to discuss some things with her. He came back Saturday; I picked him up at the train station at 7 pm. It was dark. It was pouring down rain. It was horrendously windy.

Unlike pretty much every other town in England, our train station is miles away. You have to take a separate highway to get to and from it. It's a four-lane highway, two lanes on each side, with a metal dividing rail between, and it is a very hilly, very wind-y road with lots of twists and turns. No lights, of course. That would make it safer and we can't have that.

So. We are headed Westbound, in the left-hand lane (which is the outside lane here, remember.) Toodly-doo, along we go, chatting, when we turn a corner, go about half a mile, and a car passes us going Eastbound.

Eastbound. In the Westbound lane. On a dark and windy night, on a twisty narrow road.

(Another fun feature of this road, as with so many roads in the Southwest, is there are no exits for miles. You get on, and you are not getting off for a while.)

So of course we take a second or two to wonder if we actually saw what we think we did. Another second or so to freak out because we could have all just been in a head-on collision at 70 mph. And we dial 999 to report it. We would have liked to have turned around and followed along with them (on the correct side of the road) blaring our horn or something to try and warn people, but again, it is impossible to exit or turn around anywhere on these roads. And that probably would not have been particularly safe either.

One really cool thing they do here is, if you call to report a crime or incident or whatever, they are legally required to update you on it. Which is a tremendous violation of privacy, but is still really cool. We arrived home, still freaking out, and waited.

Fifteen minutes later the phone rang. It was the police. There had been a massive car accident.

Luckily, she said no one was killed or even injured very seriously. And she said thanks to us they already had police etc. on the road, on the way, when the call came in. So we were at least able to help.

The driver was apparently very elderly.

Just awful. Very scary. And I believe it is entirely possible that had there been street lights the accident could have been prevented. Seriously, getting onto the highway here at night is like being in a submarine plunging into black water; the lights stop at the top of the exit ramps, and you're on your own. It's incredibly dangerous.

But the important thing is no one was killed.

See? I told you it was terrifying.

But on a brighter note...there's an Inauguration tomorrow! I love Inaguration Day. I always watch them--I always love to watch them. I don't care who's being inagurated, I just watch and take pride in the whole system. That we elect a President. That we swear that President in with great ceremony and pride. That we are solemn and joyful at the same time. It's fantastic. It makes me proud, and it usually makes me cry a little, and I just love it and I'm very excited. So who's going to be watching with me? (Assuming I get to watch of course; I don't know if CNN or Fox will be covering it, and those are the only news we have access to that might show the whole thing. So fingers crossed. I haven't missed watching an Inauguration in...oh, gosh...since Reagan's first, so this is a Big Deal to me.)

Oops, I forgot to title it

2009-01-15T12:49:00.005Z

Wowee. LOTS of ground to cover today!

First of all. If you are a follower of Urban Fantasy Land (and if you aren't, why the hell not, because those girls are awesome; they love the genre, and they're fun and well-informed, and they're doing Reader's Choice Awards at the moment and you could win stuff) you already have some inkling of this, as they broke the news a couple of days ago. If you are a member of my Yahoo newsgroup you already know this, as I sent out a message yesterday (see? There are some benefits to belonging to the group!)

I can't tell you everything. I honestly don't know everything. What I do know is that DEMON INSIDE and any future books in the Megan Chase series will be distributed through Pocket Books (S&S) as part of a new arrangement with Juno Books.

So. DEMON INSIDE is up on Amazon! And I have my very own Author Page on the new Simon & Schuster website, which is here.

Both pages give the new release date as JULY 29, 2009. Mark your calendars! Place your pre-orders now! Riot and dance in the streets (you know you want to)!

But seriously. Here's what this hopefully means for you. It hopefully means that DI will have a much "harder" release date; there will be more copies on the shelves, on the release date and after. It will likely be easier to get and find. (And I certainly hope you think that's a good thing.)

What it means for me? I honestly don't know yet. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

But wait! There's more!

Again, if you're a member of the Yahoo group you know this already, but yesterday I got the official word that I will be a Guest at Dragon*Con, September 4-7, Atlanta GA. (It is very weird to see my name on that list, especially right above Susan Kearney's, as she is a USA Today bestseller and I am just...well, me.) So, I will be signing books, participating in panel discussions, and generally jibber jabbering away at Dragon*Con! I am totally excited; D*C is awesome. Check out the rest of the site and see:

Dragon*Con is the largest multi-media, popular culture convention focusing on science fiction and fantasy, gaming, comics, literature, art, music, and film in the US.

...and I'm going to be part of it! Holy crap!! I'm already thinking of fun promo activities and stuff; a scavenger hunt, perhaps? Miss Caitlin Kittredge and I have some Nefarious Plans in the works as well...muahahahaha!

Now, this last bit of news hasn't been announced to the Yahoo loop, as I thought two big announcements were quite enough for one day. BUT, this is really, very exciting.

My Ellora's Cave novel Demon's Triad, co-written with the excellent Anna J. Evans, will be a print book, available for signing at the Romantic Times convention in April!!

Those of you who were here when the book had its ebook release last year will recall, this is our supersuperdirty X-rated book; the one almost too dark and wild for Ellora's Cave. I repeat that here not just because I'm kind of proud of that in a sick sort of way, but to warn you. The blurb says "This book is not for the faint of heart" and that is NOT a warning to take lightly. At least one reviewer was apparently not shown the blurb, which also explains that the book contains female/female sexual activity, male/male sexual activity, and non-gratuitous scenes of rape and incest, and gave the book a terrible review for it; who can blame her, really? If you're expecting a sweet romance, well, you will get that; it *is* a romance and one Anna and I were very proud of. But it is also a dark, violent, and graphic book, so if you're not interested in that or if it's simply not what you expected--especially considering most of my EC work leans toward snarky and humorous--you will want to give this one a wide berth, okay?

But I'm extremely excited and proud that it will see print, and I am extremely happy to say that Anna J. Evans, my darling co-writer, will also be at Romantic Times, so this is your chance to have the book signed by BOTH of us.

So. That was the fun stuff. Now we have a couple of serious things to talk about.

This week marks one year since the Cassie Edwards plagiarism scandal broke, on the Smart Bitches Trashy Books website. You guys know I love the Bitches; they're clever, they're funny, and they are always interesting, in addition to being--I think--two really lovely, kind, and caring people. I think it can be easy, when dealing with review sites, to tar them all with some sort of "Snarky reviews=Mean Girls" brush, and I think that's wrong. If you read the Bitches' site regularly, if you pay attention to the discussions there, you can see the deep respect that shines through even the snarkiest comment (though I don't think their reviews are particularly snarky anyway, personally); respect for themselves, respect for readers, and especially respect for writers. (The fact that they are both writers themselves may contibute to this; they have their own book coming out in April, a non-fiction book about romance novels, and I imagine it will be a must-have for anyone who likes or loathes romance.)

Anyway. A year ago one of the Bitches loaned a friend a few Cassie Edwards novels. The friend did not enjoy the novels, but more to the point, the friend noticed some distinct differences in the authorial voice at certain points in the text. The friend was, I believe, ill at the time or recuperating from a broken bone, and so, having time on her hands, she decided to Google a few of the oddest passages.

And discovered that they were stolen.

They were not Cassie Edwards' original work. They were entire passages lifted verbatim from research articles; from old novels (one of which was a Pulitzer Prize winner); from magazine articles and websites.

In short, Cassie Edwards was a plagiarist, and the Bitches posted the evidence of her CRIME, of her BREACH OF MORALS AND ETHICS AND HONOR, on their website.

And all hell broke loose. (The post I linked to above is tagged "Cassie Edwards"; clock the tag to view the whole saga. Astounding. I was especially interested to see a statement, purportedly from Edwards, which claimed that "...all romance authors who use research for historicals have to use reference books to do this." Um...yeah, I used a lot of reference books and materials in writing Black Dragon, my Cerridwen Press medieval. But funnily enough, I didn't realize I was supposed to lift entire passages verbatim; I actually went through the trouble of incorporating my research in (what I hope was) a smooth manner, and, you know, writing it myself in my own words, rather than simply copy-and-pasting it into dialogue and figuring my readers wouldn't know the difference. Silly me. I guess I was absent from Writer School the day they told me that, contrary to what I'd been taught my whole life, that was okay).

But this is the thing. This really isn't about Cassie Edwards. It's not. I've never read one of the woman's books; I don't know her or anything about her.

What I do know, and what this is about, is that plagiarism is wrong. It is a moral and ethical absolute: PLAGIARISM IS WRONG. YOU DO NOT STEAL THE WORK OF OTHERS AND TAKE CREDIT FOR IT.

And here's what I don't understand. The Bitches broke this story. They alerted the world that this egregious wrong was taking place. In doing so they drew attention to the actual writers of the stolen work, people whose words were earning money for Ms. Edwards, while they struggled. People who'd put years of effort into the work she so carelessly, irresponsibly, and coldly stole from them for her own gain.

In alerting us they made publishers and readers more aware of plagiarism; what it is, and what the consequences are. Not just to the thief, but to all of us. When our words--our self-expression, the contents of our minds and hearts, the basis of our very selves, the tools of our souls--are stolen, it is a vicious and terrible crime. It is the raping of the mind. It tells us, on the most basic level possible, that we are nothing but grist for the plagiarist's mill, nothing but a series of sentences for the plagiarist to steal.

Who among us has never had this happen? There's a reason why "copycat" is such a vivid playground epithet; the copycat is not original. The copycat is stealing your ideas and pretending they're his or her own. Who among us has never had anyone copy us? Has never had a co-worker take credit for one of our ideas? Or a boss? Has never told a joke or come up with a witty comeback, and heard someone else use it later, pretending it's their own? Who has not felt that impotent rage when it happens? The feeling that nothing is sacred, not your thoughts or words or self?

Plagiarism is disgusting. It is foul. It is wrong. It is a behavior that should not be tolerated, by anyone, for any purpose.

And yet...the Bitches are being threatened for it. As though they've done something wrong.

When someone breaks into your home and steals from you, and you catch them in the act, do you deserve to be blamed for their subsequent imprisonment? How about if you catch someone stealing from your neighbor's home; are you then to blame? What if you witness a murder or rape? Or any crime? Are you obligated to keep silent? Or are you obligated to tell, because the basis of our society is respect for ourselves, other people, and the law, and every incidence of turning a blind eye, of excusing such crimes, of pretending it doesn't matter, is in and of itself a crime, a show of incredible disrespect which takes us one step further away from civilization and toward an unfeeling, inhuman anarchy?

There are people actually sending threatening notes to the Smart Bitches--especially regarding their appearance at the Romantic Times convention--for doing what was and is RIGHT; for standing up for the abused, the stolen from, the ignored and the ill-treated. For standing up for the basic human right of all of us to own our own words, thoughts and feelings, and not have them ripped from us by someone else looking to benefit financially from the sweat of our brows and the fruit of our souls.

This is disgusting. It is wrong. It lessens the humanity and fairness and integrity of our society as a whole, and of the community of readers and writers.

Thank you, Smart Bitches, for standing up for writers; for treating what we do as something individual and valuable, and for recognizing our right to our own intellectual property.

I had more but I think that's long enough for one day, huh?

Ladies, do you match?

2009-01-12T12:02:00.003Z

So, first, a HUGE thank-you to everyone who commented on my "Author Photo" entry. I admit I am totally shocked by your picks; I thought #4 was by far the worst of the bunch, that it made me look moon-faced and elderly. #3 was my favorite by far, followed by 2, then 1, then 4--which I really didn't like that much at all. So, quite a surprise, indeed. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do; I keep thinking if we do one more round of photos I might hit The One.

But I will say that after years of hating the way I photographed I was very surprised by how nicely most of the pictures we took came out. And that made me feel pretty good.

Something else that's been making me feel pretty good lately is my expanding collection of matching bra-and-panty sets. (Yeah, I'm talking about my underwear, so? We're all adults here.)

Soo, for years I haven't really owned anything remotely like a matching set. Well, I have, I just never really wore them together. I have a couple of velvet bras the hubs bought me when we were engaged; they came with matching velvet boy-shorts, which were adorable but tended to be too warm under clothes (in South Florida, remember) and also tended to slip cown or bunch unattractively. I also bought myself a few sets, but the panties always seem to get worn out so much faster than the bras, in large part because while panties are washed after one wearing, bras aren't. (Again, c'mon. I can't be the only woman in the world who'll wear the same bra for several days. If I'm doing something where I'm sweaty of course I change it immediately, but for day-to-day use...I dunno, am I disgusting for this? It's just bras aren't cheap and I don't have that many.)

Anyway. Yes, I don't have many bras. So there's this new store in Barnstaple called La Senza, and they have really nice, inexpensive stuff. So because I'm low on bras I bought a couple. And because they were half-price and the panties were too, I've ended up buying several sets over the last couple of months. With the result that I know own like six matching bra-and-panty sets.

And it's pretty neat, I have to say. It's kind of fun to have matching stuff. It makes me feel like a grown-up. And they're so pretty! I bought this one, for example, which isn't usually my style but is just so cute. Or this one. And several more that aren't on the website; a pinstripe set (I love pinstripes); a bright baby blue set, a red satin set with black tulle over it, a red set with black stripes...and all so inexpensive!!

So while I'm not always matching (I still have some older bras I love, that don't have matching panties) these days I seem to match more often than not. And so I'm wondering. Ladies, do you match? Was I weird for not matching before? Am I weird for matching now? Men, what do you think? I've heard that men could care less, is that true?

A few other things:

Urban Fantasy Land is having a "Best of 2008" poll, with some neat categories, so go on over and vote. I am actually nominated, which is cool as hell, in the "Best Demons/Zombies" category, but as I'm in the running against Mark Henry, Richelle Mead and Jackie Kessler, in addition to Justine Musk (my new Twitter friend, which just about stunned me out of my shoes), Jenna Black, and Kat Richardson, I haven't the proverbial snowball's chance. But you know, it really is an honor just to be nominated, so I'm content. Anyway, go on over and vote!! Link to the poll! Let's get some numbers over there!

And when I say "Go over and vote" I mean vote for whomever. Do not vote for me unless you really are crazy enough to think I deserve to win more than those other great writers. As has been mentioned all over the internet in the last few weeks, the Preditors & Editors poll has begun, and while (again) it is very exciting to see my name in it--although I don't know if I am this year, I haven't looked, but I know someone nominated me last year and I actually ended up ranking fairly high--it really doesn't mean anything at all save who has the most buddies with the most dummy email accounts. I love P&E; I think Dave does great work there.

But the poll...ugh. No offense, but you cannot tell me that award is fair, or that the winners always make sense. I hate polls like that, which are nothing more than popularity contests or seeing who can best game the system. When the top tens are consistenly filled with books, publishers, and authors of whom no one has ever heard, something isn't right.

Also. Our buddy Psynde has a new pet, a really cool fighting fish whom she has named Terrible, after one of my Unholy Ghosts characters (I let Psynde have a sneaky peeky at the ms). "Stunned" does not begin to describe my reaction, no shit. This is probably the most exciting thing that's happened to me in my entire career; someone actually liked one of my characters so much they named a pet after him. That shit just doesn't happen to me.

Anyway, stop on over to Psynde's blog to take a look at Terrible in all his fishy glory and say hi to Psynde, and let's keep our fingers crossed that my horrendous luck with fish (every time I try to have one it dies within a few hours) doesn't extend to Terrible.

And I think that's it for today.

If you have a few minutes, come help me choose a picture

2009-01-09T14:30:00.002Z

So apparently I need another one of those Author Photo thingies for my books and my website and all that stuff.

I've posted a few options over on the livejournal; want to come help me decide? I have a definite favorite but I thought I'd open it up to other opinions.

Come on over and ogle me! And comment!

You can use Open Id or just comment as anon and tell me who you are, if you want.

The coming year

2009-01-08T14:05:00.001Z

Well.

So here we are, all in our places with bright shiny faces, ready for 2009, right? RIGHT! And 2009 is going to be a great year, really really really. I can feel it in my bones. No more whining about the Year That Ate My Happiness; we're all about the 09, now.

And what a way to start the year, because I have several announcements to make, and a bit about my schedule--which includes (gasp) appearances!

So. Here's an announcement, first of all; a pretty big one. The hubs and I have booked our tickets, and are moving back to the US in April. There are a number of reasons for this, which I won't go into, but suffice it to say we're very excited about going home. England is a beautiful place, and I will always be grateful that we--especially the girls--had the opportunity to live in another country, but we've been here for just over three years and it's time to go home.

However. This does mean that for essentially the entire month of April I am going to be unreachable. My BlackBerry contract runs out in March; I had really hoped to extend it another couple of months so I can still get my emails, but I can't guarantee it.

The good news about this, though, is that in April I *will* be at the Romantic Times convention in Orlando, and should be signing some books.

So. My schedule for the year is basically as follows (don't worry, I'll update throughout the year as well):

Jan-March. Regular schedule; I have to finish the third Downside book (which I hope to do by the end of Feb) and obviously we'll have some moving things to keep us busy, but I will keep everyone informed as we go along.

April: Moving. We'll be spending a few days in NYC, which I am incredibly excited about (I've never been there) as I already have plans to tour the Del Rey offices and have dinner and drinks with my fantastic editor, to meet up with my agent, all those fun things. Whee! And then we head down to Miami to visit our friends and family down there; we can't wait to see them all again.

Then I'm attending the RT convention in Orlando, April 22-26. As of now I'm not doing any panels or "official" events save the booksigning on Saturday the 25th. BUT, on Thursday morning, from 10:30 to 11:30, Team Seattle (of which I have been informed I am a "satellite" member, which tickles me to no end and makes me feel all warm and gooey and loved), including me and a few other technically non-Seattlites, are doing a Club RT event, with fun and a seriously kickass prize, so you will NOT want to miss that; come hang out and talk with us!

May: Traveling; hopfully visiting friends and family in TX.

Summer: Hopefully buying and settling into new house in time for girls to start school with everyone else. If anyone knows any realtors in or around the Alpharetta/Marietta/Cummings area north of Atlanta GA, please let me know. We aren't sure we'll be in the market for a house but we're hopeful. :-)

September: Dragon*Con! I will definitely be there; I have no idea as yet what if anything I will officially be doing there, but I will definitely be there, and it would be great to see any of you there too!

October-December: Don't know.

I am also currently in the process of building a new website, and I'm really excited about it. It's a long slow process, ugh; writing website content is horrible, really. All this stuff all about me and my books. It's weird. I always feel like I'm coming off as a lunatic.

It does mean, too, that I am going to be doing some new FAQs. So if you have any questions you'd like to see answered there, go ahead and ask them. I'm willing to pretend they're "Frequently asked" if you are; it will be our little secret. :-) And of course I'm trying to come up with other stuff, bits and pieces that might interest people about the books, that sort of thing. I also plan to have a couple of pages on the business of publishing and maybe a bit about writing as well; we'll see. And one thing I'm very excited about and I think will be way cool, but it's not ready to be discussed yet.

I'm building the website for now at staciakane.net (no, there's nothing up yet.) Once it's been launched I'll be directing the staciakane.com domain name there, so either address will get you to the same site.

The December Quinn site will not change, and I haven't yet decided if I'll link to it. Probably not, though.

I'm also considering building a blog into the actual site, but I'm not sure. Copying-and-pasting my posts from here to livejournal (or vice versa occasionally) isn't a big deal, but I don't know that I can keep up with comments posted in three separate places. Not sure what to do there, really. I may end up letting Blogger go dark. Again, that's up in the air at the moment, and I'm open to any thoughts.

We're making some changes at the League of Reluctant Adults, as well! More on that later but it will of course be a hoot, whatever we do.

Um...I think that's it for announcements for today. I will post the Big News as soon as I can, and I'm hoping to have release dates for the Chess Putnam books starting with Unholy Ghosts within the next few months. Which is to say, I hope the release dates are scheduled and I can announce them soon, not that the books will actually be released in the next few months. But that would be fun, wouldn't it? Sigh.

I believe that is it for the moment. Like I said I'll keep everything updated as we go along.

2008: Boy, am I glad that's over

2009-01-05T18:14:00.002Z

***This is NOT my big news'n'announcement post, although there is an announcement IN this post. That post will probably--hopefully--be Thursday, so stay tuned.***

Yes, I'm a little late on this. Everyone else did their year-in-review posts last week. But you know, I've never been one to keep up with the Joneses.

2008 sucked.

Oh, sure. By all outward appearances, and by some measures, 2008 was awesome. Seriously awesome. Personal Demons was released, and the critical and reader reaction to it totally blew me away with its warmth and enthusiasm. Seriously, y'all, if no other good things had happened for me professionally in 2008, that would have made it one of the best years of my life, period.

But that wasn't all that happened for me professionally in '08. In March I signed with Mr. Kickass Agent. In July we got the first offer for Unholy Ghosts, and an extremely minor--but very exciting--bidding war of sorts began. NOT an auction, I'm not claiming that by any stretch, but we did have more than one editor in the game and that was intensely gratifying, even if it did leave me feeling lousy when I ended up not getting to work with some people with whom I would have seriously enjoyed working.

And then there's another good professional thing that I can't talk about yet, but am really looking forward to being able to discuss. (No, I haven't sold a new series or anything, keep your shirts on. Or, well, don't; I can't see you, so you wear whatever you like.)

So on that level, 2008 was The Year That Could; it rocked.

And a few other great things happened in '08. I got to spend a week or so with Caitlin Kittredge, which was undoubtedly a serious High Point for the year. Caitlin is so awesome and lovely and wonderful, and it was a delight to have her as a guest.

This is the year--sort of--that I lost 35 pounds. I say "sort of" because technically ten of those were lost in 2007, but the fact remains that 2008 was and is the year that I hit my ultimate goal weight of 108 pounds (I'm only 5'2, remember, and very small-boned and petite) and I have remained there for four months now, and I am quite proud of myself in addition to being thrilled at all the clothes that fit and flatter me again.

But for everything else? Man, 2008 blew.

I cannot remember the last time I was able to go outside without at least a cardigan. While it didn't rain for nine solid weeks this summer the way it did in 07, it was still far from sunny. This is the year I really, fully realized that I have no friends in this part of the world. This is the year my friends and family in the States needed me and I couldn't be there for them.

This is the year my husband and I spent the entire summer fighting like cats and dogs, only with more foul language. This is the year the raise he was supposed to get--the raise which his bosses promised would be "significant"--ended up being barely visible thanks to company-wide mandate. However insignificant it was, it was enough to kick us into a new tax bracket (so to speak), resulting in the monthly loss of an additional 20% of our income. 2008 was the year we ate a lot of soup; it was the year we couldn't buy new books or warmer clothes. It was the year we couldn't afford to take hubs' suits to the drycleaner often enough. 2008 was the year every one of life's little annoyances felt like heavy weights around my neck and drained the energy out of me; it was the year I found myself reduced to tears by a snippy Tesco clerk because I just couldn't take one more isolating incident, one more reminder that I was in a world whose rules I just couldn't grasp.

2008 was the year our couch broke and we couldn't afford a new one; I am writing this sitting on a stack of catalogs placed strategically beneath the cushion, in order to replace the broken springs. It was the year I realized there was no way I would ever please my mother-in-law, that she is determined to see me and everything I do in the most negative light possible, and that goes for everyone else I know in the area; 2008 was the year they essentially stopped speaking to me altogether.

In other words--and to stop the self-pity-party that is already well underway--aside from work, 2008 was miserable and scary and unhappy, and I am glad to see the rear end of it.

BUT!!

2009 is already gearing up to be great; I can feel it in my much-less-padded bones. So no more of this. I am looking ahead, and I am seeing some fricking amazing things coming, some of which I will tell you about very soon.

Meanwhile, here is my announcement, such as it is.

I have been the lucky recipient, over the last few months, of many emails and blog comments regarding the release date of the second Megan Chase book, DEMON INSIDE. (I say "lucky" and mean it; it's amazing to me that people actually care! Thank you, each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart.)

As some or most or all or none of you know, DEMON INSIDE was originally scheduled to be a Jan 2009 release. And as you may have noticed, it is not.

I am not yet at liberty to discuss the reasons behind the delay; hopefully all will be revealed very soon. What I can say is that the delay has nothing to do with me or the book; it is certainly not due to problems at or with Juno Books. There are business reasons behind it, but I promise they are good and positive ones, and I wouldn't lie to you, would I?

As soon as I am able to discuss it, I will, I swear.

As soon as I have a solid release date, I will tell you, I swear. You'll be the first to know.

Right now I'm hearing late summer 09, but that could very well change, so please stay tuned.

In the meantime I apologize very sincerely to each and every one of you for the delay. Please be assured that if there was any way to avoid it, we would have done so. I hate things being late and delayed, especially books, and I'm really sorry. I just hope that you'll be pleased--um, or at least care a little--when you hear the reasons behind it, and that you'll forgive me, and that you'll still be willing to read DEMON INSIDE when it does appear on the shelves.

And of course, that you'll enjoy it when it does.

And that's it. Stay tuned; no matter what I'm allowed to say by Thursday, there will definitely be some announcements made which will hopefully interest you.

Meanwhile, I'm going to raise a glass and breathe easily, and hope that 2009 holds better things, and that the small professional success I found in 2008 was not a fluke. :-)

Thank you all for spending the year with me. Here's to all of us!

A few bits before I "officially" return

2009-01-02T22:38:00.002Z

Yes, I know. You're all waiting with bated breath, right? Ha.

Okay. First, yes, I am messing about with the template. I attempted to download the new CSS template I'm using for my shiny! new! website!, but Blogger kept insisting something was wrong with that code. Nothing was wrong with the code; I've run it through three different programs to make sure. The problem, I guess, is that it's a webpage code and not a blogpage code. I dunno. Anyway, it blows, because I love my shiny! new! website! template. (Above is a sneak preview of the header.)

Anyway. Feedback is appreciated. I can already see the sidebar fonts are too light; I will fix them over the weekend.

Second.

I hope the person in question doesn't mind me posting this, but a friend said something to me earlier--and I said something in return--that I felt the need to repeat here publicly.

In a nutshell, my friend is getting ready to begin the query process. I sent her a list of names of fantasy agents I esteem--Jim McCarthy, Rachel Vater, Miriam Kriss, Kim Whalen at Trident, Katie Menick at Howard Morhaim, to name a few--to add to her list.

Of course, at the top of the list I put my own agent. :-)

My friend thanked me for the suggestions but mentioned she probably wouldn't query my agent because she didn't think she had a chance at interesting an agent with such a prestigious agency (Look, this is what SHE said, okay. I'm not trying to brag or anything here, I'm really not, so I hope I don't sound like one of these people who's constantly running around talking about their agent and how their agent is the greatest agent who ever lived and how other writers would kill, yes, kill, to be repped by my agent because my agent gets a billion queries a minute and is clearly The Most Important Person In Publishing and the business would stop dead if this person were ever to leave it because they are so, so, so important and amazing and thus by extension so am I. So please don't think I'm doing that.)(Although I do obviously think my agent is pretty fucking cool.)

Anyway.

She told me she didn't have a chance with him, because she didn't have any prior publication credits and she's not writing in a "hot" subgenre, and this is what I said in return:

Don't be ridiculous. Prior credits have nothing to do with it and you should know that. Chris signed {another cool writer} and I don't think {writer} has any prior credits. I know my prior credits didn't matter one bit to him.

Query him. Query him, unless you just don't think you're good enough to get a really good agent; in which case, why query anybody at all? Believe me, if I'm good enough for him--me, of all people--so is anybody else.

What's the worst that can happen? You'll waste under a minute cutting and pasting a query letter? You'll get a polite rejection? Oooh, scary. :rolleyes

Yes, I'm being deliberately harsh here in an attempt to show you that you're being silly. Query EVERYONE who can give you proper representation. EVERYONE. So they say no, so what? Chris isn't some sort of beast; he's not going to come to your house and throw poop at you if your query isn't for him, or send out an email to every other agent in NY making fun of you for having the effrontery to think *he* might be interested in your work.

Either you believe you're publishable or you don't. (Yes, I use boldface a lot; so? You got a problem with that?) And if you do, you query everyone. Period.

Hugs, dear. I'm trusting that you know I'm really not trying to be a bitch here; I just don't want you to limit yourself like that. Where would I be right now if I hadn't decided to go ahead and query him? Maybe I'd be repped by somebody else, sure; I had five or six other fulls out when he offered. But you know, maybe not. Who knows?

Just send the fucking query. At worst you'll get a form rejection. At best you'll get a great agent.

And that goes for you too, readers. Don't give me that shit about how The Big Guys aren't going to be interested in you. Either you're ready or you're not. Either you think your work is publishable or you don't. Why limit yourself at the query stage? If they say no, they say no; big damn deal. What if Bigtime Agent is the one, and you never find out because you're too chicken?

There are LOTS of great agents out there. Try them all.

Thus ends your new year inspiration for the day.

The Coming Year

2008-12-28T14:14:00.007Z

A few holiday pictures

2008-12-25T14:34:00.005Z

Just a couple of shots, from last night's present-opening extravaganza!

Hope you're all having a lovely holiday!

Odds and Ends

2008-12-18T14:39:00.002Z

Well, folks, this is my last scheduled blog post until after the new year. I'm officially going on hiatus until then. Unofficially, of course, I'll still come back and post if I have anything to rant about or share, but I'm not going to be sticking to my regular schedule for the next few weeks. Too much going on, both for me and for you, I imagine.

One of the things I'm going to be doing is working on a new website. I've narrowed it down to a couple of layouts/designs, and need to pick one and get started. It's a little--okay, a lot--scary, because I'm going to be doing it myself (I had planned to pay to have one designed, and still hope to at some point, but for the moment I just can't quite justify the expense, and since I'm not sure exactly what I want anyway...sigh.)

So, does anyone have any suggestions for what you'd like to see on my website? What do you like to see on any writer's website? I'll have excerpts and release dates (what release dates I have, anyway, which isn't any at the moment, sorry), and FAQs and stuff like that. But I'm trying to think of other fun features and things to put in there. I do have one thing planned which I'm not going to share at the moment, but if it goes well it will become a regular feature and should be pretty cool (at least I think so.)

Another thing I may do--something I've been thinking about for quite a while--is switch my main email from the December account to the Stacia account. Right now emails sent to Stacia get forwarded to December, and I may switch that. Because Stacia gets more email.

And also...because I've been thinking of phasing December out entirely.

See, here's the thing. In another corner of the internets, I mentioned--quite without thinking--that I haven't written any new erotic romance in over a year. And it kind of hit me a little later that day, that that was correct. I haven't written any new erorom in over a year. Accustomed to his Fangs was the last December release for at least some time; I don't have any new erorom ideas percolating. It's not really where I'm focused these days.

And I'm not really sure what that means for me or my career, honestly. But at some point, unless I start writing erorom again--which is entirely possible, I'm not saying at the moment that I never will, just that as of now I don't have any real plans to--there's no point in keeping my erotic romance pen name.

So I'm not really sure what to do about that. I imagine it's something I'll make a decision on in the next few months; I'm not worried about it right now. But it is a concern for me, or rather, it is something I'm thinking about.

And on a totally different note, hubs and I were very interested to see the Broward County PD has now officially closed the Adam Walsh case, and declared Ottis Toole to be the guilty party. We're not really sure how we feel about this, given that Toole has long been a suspect but has also long been doubted as The Guy.

And here's the thing. Of course it's not bizarre for us to be interested in the Adam Walsh case--really, who among us who were children in 1981 doesn't remember it? But we have a particular interest in it, which is a little chilling. See, while in 1981 I was safely tucked up in the suburbs of St. Louis, the hubs was living in Davie, FL. And the Sears from which Adam was taken was less than fifteen minutes from his house. And of course, hubs was the same age as Adam. And, in fact, just a day or two before Adam was stolen from that Sears, hubs's Mom had taken hubs to that exact same store--and left him alone in that exact same toy aisle while she did her shopping. Kind of chilling, isn't it?

I know, it's hard to remember now that there was a time when parents used to leave their young kids unattended in the toy aisle. But they did, all the time. We used to stay in the car, too; I have lots of memories of reading in the car while my Mom ran into one store after another. Nobody thought anything of it, or worried about it at all; it was perfectly normal. Whereas now... It's a very sad commentary on what the world has become, isn't it?

On a cheerier note...I got my coat back from the dry cleaner's today, thus ending my weeks of substitute-coat misery. (Remember, I fell on my ass in Tintagel mus?) My coat is nice and clean, and they fixed the rip in the lining too. Yay coat!

And, BFF Cori sent us a package, which arrived today, so we now have the entire first season of The Big Bang Theory on DVD. This makes me very happy, because I adore this show. Yay DVD!

And I guess that's basically it. I keep thinking I had another topic to bring up today, but I don't.

So I will be here, but only sporadically (the good news is this means I can spend more time *visiting your blogs* than I normally get to have), and if you have any thoughts or ideas or suggestions for my nifty new website--which I will NOT be using GoDaddy's horrible WebSite Tonite program for, thank you very much--please, share them! I'd love to hear what you guys like to see in a website.

Have a wonderful holiday, everyone, no matter which one you celebrate. You all have made my days brighter over the last year, and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your comments, emails, and thoughts. Mrs. Giggles did a post on her blog not long ago about my blog readers, and what a great variety of clever, cool people I have (no, seriously, she did!) and I can't agree more.

Sigh

2008-12-15T13:15:00.002Z

I was going to do another post about the RWA today, specifically focusing on their stated purpose, which is "...[to] support the professional interests of its more than 10,000 members..." and "...to help its members pursue a career in romance fiction..." (which is a bunch of bullshit, is it not? Since they have no interest in helping ALL of their members pursue a career in romance fiction, only those who write romance without that dirty sex stuff in it) and on their Code of Ethics, which, in light of the new RITA rule, is a total and complete joke.

Check this out (it's the middle "principle" of ethical conduct an RWA member should exhibit):

"RWA members strive to treat fellow members, RWA staff, and others with respect."

There's also one about adhering to RWA's bylaws, to which I no longer have access since I decided last year to stop throwing my money away by giving it to them as "membership dues". Last time I read the bylaws they didn't allow discrimination, but my memory could be faulty. Either way, I hardly see telling writers who qualify for PAN that despite qualifying (by earning over the minimum "professional" amount--in other words, RWA considers PAN members to be professionals and thinks they should be treated as such), they're still not allowed to enter the RITA, respectful. Or honest. I certainly don't think the rule belongs on the same website as the words "integrity" or "honesty".

Oh, members are also not permitted to engage in "conduct injurious to RWA and its stated goals"--that of helping members pursue careers etc. etc. Seems to me that the new RITA rule is awfully fucking injurious to a lot of writers' career goals, and that that might be something a group of those of you who retained your membership in order to "change from within" might be interested in looking into--why not get that change started now? Why not DO SOMETHING from within the organization?

There are disciplinary actions in place, you know, designed to deal with violations of the Code of Ethics.

I'm just thinking out loud here.

See, here's the thing. I know I'm actually blogging about the RWA when I said I wasn't going to. But there's something I realized a while ago, and it's something I think is worth sharing with everyone else.

The RWA is a writer's organization--at least, it's supposed to be. Membership is not obligatory for success. It's a nonissue. The RWA board is made up of writers. Not agents. Not editors. Not anyone who makes any decisions as far as your career is concerned.

You do not have to be an RWA member to get an agent. You do not have to be an RWA member to get published. You do not have to be an RWA member to have a long and successful career.

The RWA is a straw man. So many writers are, I think, a little afraid of speaking out against the RWA. And I understand it, I do. We all hear so often that editors and agents are reading blogs and paying attention to our conduct, and that if they get the slightest whiff of us behaving unprofessionally we'll be blackballed. No more contracts for us! We're done.

But it's not true. Not at all. The RWA has NO power other than what writers give it. None. And while I'm sure most agents and editors are happy to attend RWA events and genuinely enjoy them, I really don't think they're going to leap to defend the organization as a whole and decide writers who speak out against the disrimination in the organization--discrimination against paying members who have done nothing wrong except write the word "cock" a few too many times in their books--are Bad Eggs, unprofessional attitude problems they don't want to deal with. In fact, I imagine it would be extremely difficult to find an agent or editor who actively CARES what anyone says about the RWA; and I bet you'll find one or two agents out there who represent writers who are also epublished, who are just as angry about this on behalf of their clients as I am on behalf of friends of mine who are hurt by this.

The RWA is NOT the publishing industry. They're not. They're just a group of writers. In the past they have gotten together AS WRITERS and done some good things--forcing Harlequin to give up rights to pen names, for example. But they didn't do that as Publishing Movers & Shakers. They did it as writers. Because that's all they are.

They don't make decisions about your career. The board members don't spend their days on the phone with agents and editors discussing in what direction the industry should go. CEOs of publishing houses do not have them on speed-dial to ask them for advice.

In other words, speaking out against their shameful discriminatory policies is not going to get you blackballed from publishing. It just isn't.

The only reason they have ANY power, any at all, is because their members give it to them. And by saying that I don't mean the RWA is like Freddy Krueger, gaining power from fear and becoming stronger and stronger with every scream (well, okay, maybe I do mean that a little.) But what I really mean is, they are powerful because you give them power in numbers. If the RWA was comprised of fifty people nobody would give a shit what they did (well, a lot of people still don't give a shit what they do, but you know what I mean). But because they're so large, they have power. Because they tell people they're there to help and advocate etc. etc., and people believe it, that gives them power. Because they have somehow managed to spread the propoganda that belonging to the RWA is an important part of having a professional career in romance writing, a lot of people join believing it--and stay even when they're not sure what they're getting out of it.

But their scope is so limited. The RWA has power over the RWA's members, and that's it. Not over any individual, not over the industry as a whole. They just don't.

So don't be afraid to speak out and insist that the RWA--which is your organization, and you should have a voice in it--account for itself. Insist they live up to that Code of Ethics. Insist they start treating their members equally according to their own rules (PAN members are RITA-eligible if they released a book in the last year, period.) Insist that they represent ALL their members, not just the ones of whose books they approve.

You do not answer to the RWA. They answer to you. Without you they're nothing. Make sure they know it.

RIP BETTIE

2008-12-12T14:58:00.002Z

*cries*

Hey readers! Guess who thinks you're tacky and stupid and unimportant?

2008-12-11T15:47:00.009Z

Our old friends, the RWA.

Well, to be fair, it's not the entire RWA by any stretch. Just the ones who make the rules.

These women; the RWA board. (Although to be fair I don't know if the President-Elect or the District Heads have any say or not.)

Published romance authors all of them--in other words, people who depend upon YOU for their living--who have nothing but contempt for readers who enjoy reading ebooks, particularly erotic romance ebooks. They think your tastes are too lowbrow; they think the books you enjoy reading are garbage; they think the fact that you prefer (often [but not always] less expensive) environmentally sound and convenient ebooks means you aren't really reading books. They think what you like is low quality. Beneath them. They think you are obviously not capable of recognizing good writing or good stories. They think you're rabid, filthy onanists who spend all your free time slavering over porn and wearing out batteries or giving yourself carpal tunnel.

And they are determined--DETERMINED--to see that the books you enjoy will never gain any sort of respect, because such books are no-good crap. And your opinion matters not one bit to them. They are going to make absolutely goddamned sure that you realize how nasty and gross they think you and your tastes are. The fact that you might enjoy them? The fact that you might find it difficult to read books because the print is small and you can make it larger on your ereader? The fact that you live in a small house and don't have much room to store books, so you buy ebooks instead? Perhaps you're an environmentalist. Perhaps you simply are a fan of certain ebook authors. Or maybe you just enjoy reading really hot explicit romances.

The RWA board has one thing to say to you: Fuck off. The books you like are shit. (Okay, that's two things. But still.)

Do you wonder what's brought this on? How I know that the RWA board--people who sure want you to buy their books--thinks this way of you?

I'll tell you why (like you thought maybe I wouldn't.) I might have mentioned this before, I don't recall exactly. But there was a new rule added to the RITA contest this year. This rule was NOT given to the general membership for voting; it wasn't even mentioned to the general membership. No one was warned it would be in there. It was simply sneaked in under the wire, because the RWA board didn't want to openly discuss it--they didn't want to take any chances that RWA members might hear about it and point out what a disgusting and contemptuous way this is to treat paying members of an organization, and the fans of those paying members, or readers who simply like ebooks.

These are the RITA-specific rules:

"Books entered in the 2009 RITA contest must:

Have an original copyright date (printed on the copyright page) or a first printing date or a first North American printing date of 2008.

Not have been previously entered.

Be mass-produced by a non-Subsidy, non-Vanity Publisher in print book format.

Meet the requirements for the category in which it was entered.

Be a work of original fictional narrative prose."

On other words, no ebooks allowed. Only mass-produced books, books with print runs, are good enough to enter the RITA.

The purpose of these rules, in general, is to ensure the contest is fair; but more than that, rules about non-vanity, non-subsidy publishers are there to make sure RITA judges don't get snowed under by a flood of self- or vanity-published, unedited books. In other words--deliberately inflammatory ones--to make sure they don't get snowed under by a bunch of crappy, poorly edited books.

And apparently ebooks qualify, in the eyes of the RWA board, as crap.

That's right, readers? That ebook you read that touched your heart and made you happy? That kept you on the edge of your seat? That made a long train journey more enjoyable?

The RWA board thinks it's garbage, and you're a dipshit for enjoying it.

It's possible right now that you're thinking, "But that just means the RWA board doesn't consider epublished books really published, right? Isn't there another contest for unpublished authors? Maybe this is ebook discrimination, but in a different way; maybe they're not saying ebooks are crap, just that they don't consider that 'real' publishing. Which is bad, but, y'know, not quite as bad as telling a whole bunch of readers that the RWA board thinks the books they like are shitty."

And that might be a fair assumption, except epublished books are not eligible for the Golden Heart contest for unpublished writers.

See here:

"The Golden Heart contest is open to writers who have not accepted a publishing offer from a non-Subsidy, non-Vanity Publisher for a work of original fictional narrative prose of 20,000 words or more by the contest entry deadline."

See? It doesn't say anything there about a book not being considered "published" if it's an ebook.

And to further clarify, RWA's President, Diane Pershing--a woman who wants you to buy and read her books, remember--had this to say:

"The phrase "mass-produced" as it pertains to the RITA contest, is intended to define eligible books as those that are produced in sufficient quantity by the publisher to be offered for sale to the trade (booksellers and librarians) at standard discount rates and returnable."

So there you go. The RWA thinks its dues-paying members who write ebooks should not sully their precious fucking RITA with their dirty, substandard books. And because those books are dirty and substandard it stands to reason, then, that people who LIKE those books are somehow themselves dirty or substandard. Ms. Pershing thinks you're an idiot, in other words, with bad taste in books. You don't know what romance really is, according to her; you wouldn't know a good story if it bit you on the ass (although, don't say "ass" around her because that's one of those filthy words.) Your tastes are crap; you are incapable of judging the quality of a book or story, and she wants nothing to do with you (oh, except, of course, hopefully buying one of her books! Because you need her help to learn what a real book is, you see; hopefully one day you'll wise up and learn that what you like isn't good enough.)

This is bullshit. This is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever seen in my life.

Why is anyone standing for this? Why the hell are epublished writers still paying dues to this organization that clearly thinks they're a bunch of useless hacks? And why the hell would romance writers, women who spend so much of their time feeling forced to defend their genre to snobs of every other genre, turning around and being such insufferable, unapologetic, discriminatory snobs themselves?

And seriously, why does anyone bother being an RWA member? As I've said before on numerous occasions, aside from the local chapter meetings (which I gather some people enjoy, but I still think you could organize a good writing group without the RWA sticking their lousy noses into it), the RWA offers NOTHING. It does NOTHING. I can quite honestly say that being a member did not advance my career one iota. Not one bit. It did nothing for me, at all. The RWA provides not one bit of information that cannot be had online anywhere else for free.

As it is? It seems to me paying dues to the RWA is like having a store tell you they won't hire you to work the register because you're (too short/too fat/blonde/black/a woman/a man/Asian/insert some other offensively discriminatory adjective here) and then continuing to do all your shopping there.

Any other market or group or whatever in the world would react to this type of discrimination with outrage. Any other market or group or whatever in the world would not countenance this type of discrimination, period. "Some are more equal than others" isn't permissable anymore, not in this day and age.

Now, I know I've said before that readers don't need to care about the RITA. And I still feel that way, to a large degree. But this isn't about the RITA itself. It's about the books you love, and how a group of writers of other books has gotten together to tell you they don't consider those books to be worthy of their time or their awards, and that as writers in the genre you read, they think you ought to be toeing their line and reading what they want you to. They think your judgment is bad; they think you and your favorite books suck, and you can all fuck off.

I am hugely, HUGELY offended by this, and you should be too. Because what the RWA board is saying, very clearly, is that they do not want members who write ebooks, and they do not consider readers who enjoy ebooks to be readers they are interested in. They don't want to give the books you love awards; they barely tolerate authors you love as members. They do not want to invite the writers you love to signings or events. They don't think the writers and stories you enjoy are worth their time or effort; they think you have bad taste and are not particularly smart.

And what's particularly funny about that is, this is the same group of writers who not only have never bothered to learn anything about epublishing, but who STILL cannot figure out how to define "erotic romance". WRITERS. WHO DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF BASIC WORDS. Who after three or four YEARS still haven't figured it out. They don't want to have to give awards to erotic romance, because remember, they don't think books with sex in them are "real" romance; they think you erotic romance fans are just dirty, filthy consumers of dirty, filthy porn, and they want nothing to do with you. (Wow, that definition thing inspires a lot of confidence in their ability. Is that like a professional violinist who can't find F-sharp?)

Oooh, this pisses me off. I am so glad I let my membership lapse. I had actually considered entering the RITA this year, but I'm glad I didn't, because I will never, ever give the RWA another penny of my money until they change this shameful policy.

Party pictures

2008-12-08T11:49:00.004Z

Two of them show me in the little velvet jacket I took along to keep warm, one of them shows just the corset. Two of them show the hubs, one does not. In two of them I look okay, in one of them the hubs and I both resemble zombies. Two at the party, one after back at the hotel room--the red shoes at my feet are not the ones I wrore; I wore low-heeled black suede boots. The top one is my favorite; I think I actually look like me in it.

If anyone cares, my waist in that corset was a little under 25 inches.

Today's post is below, so scroll down. Feel free to comment on the pics--if you're going to--in the comments to the actual post, rather than commenting 2x. Um, if you were going to, anyway.

Oh, boy, what a day

2008-12-08T11:10:00.002Z

Today is my little Faerie's birthday. She's four. I'm not sure how I feel about this.

That sounds kind of weird, but I don't mean it to. See, Faerie is my baby. My baby. The last baby I'll have, seeing as how I recently turned 35 and have always said that's where I'd draw the baby line. Not to mention that I had some issues with contractions etc. throughout my pregnancy with her, and have had two c-sections, so another pregnancy would probably not be a great idea anyway, especially as I tend to have lovely big babies (Princess was 8lbs. 6oz. the day after her due date; Faerie was 7lbs 13oz two weeks before hers. Keep in mind I am very small.) One of these days I'm going to try and dig up the pics we took of me a week or so before Faerie was born; I was HUGE. Anyway.) So, while I readily admit part of me really wants to have another baby...it's not going to happen. We're done.

So it's fairly hard/weird for me, to see my baby get older, and know that's it. We will never need diapers on a regular basis again. We will not keep a supply of onesies in our house; we've been debating how much longer we'll keep the stroller my dad bought us when I was pregnant with Princess and has now carried both girls longer than I did. We have a crib in the garage we won't be putting our children in ever again. No more big wobbly heads, no more big baby eyes.

Sure, there's a real upside to that. In our last we're-sad-no-more-babies chat, hubs and I spent some time discussing the great things about Faerie turning four. I'm 35, he's 36. When we're forty the girls will be old enough to leave alone in the house for short periods of time during the day; we'll have some freedom again. By the time I turn 50 both girls will be out of the house, at college (fingers crossed lol). Fifty isn't old, and we'll be totally independent again, able to go anywhere anytime. I have a career I love and can focus on more and more every day; hell, next year Faerie will start school and I'll be alone at home all day, and will be able to write solidly instead of killing myself to get 2k words in by one am so I can get at least six hours of sleep. I've lost all that weight, I certainly don't want to get pregnant now and have to start the whole process all over.

All good points. And not even the complete list of good points. But there is still part of me, will always be part of me, that hates these birthdays, that wants to add another birthday to our family calendar, that has a very hard time dealing with the idea that my childbearing years are past me; that part of my life, the pregnancy and baby part, is over. And yes, I'm sorry if this offends anyone--I have actually known people to be offended by this although I cannot for the life of me understand why--it hurts that while I have two fantastic little girls whom I adore and wouldn't trade for anything, I always wanted a little boy, and I don't have one and never will.

None of which changes the fact that my baby is four today, and she is beautiful and smart and funny and adorable, and everywhere we go people smile at her because she is the most charming little human who ever lived (save only her older sister, of course.) Today Daddy is taking her to McDonalds for lunch; he takes Princess for breakfast every year on her birthday (she loves it and so do we; he's really proud of creating that little tradition) but Faerie isn't a big breakfast eater so we've decided to do lunch for her, as we know she'll actually eat that.) It's her first year of doing McD's-with-Daddy, so we're excited about that. And we have lovely gifts for her, and tomorrow we'll put up our holiday decorations--we decided when she was born that in order to prevent her b-day from being overshadowed by the holidays we would hold off on decorating until after.

So happy birthday to my sweet baby; and if I'm a little maudlin today please forgive me.

In other news...

Bettie Page has had a heart attack and is in a coma. Please send your positive thoughts and energies to Bettie; she means a lot to a lot of us. (Yes, I have twice attempted her hairstyle; what girl like me hasn't? My face isn't quite the right shape for it, but it didn't look awful. I'm tempted to try it again now that I've lost so much weight, actually.)

And...oh, dear. I'm not going to provide any links, but remember back in September '06 when that poor girl decided the way to get her book sold was to encourage strangers to spam the acquiring editor? And how it backfired hugely, and the editor found out about it and was furious, and it was a big old mess? Yeah, someone is trying it again--different person, different editor, different house, but same BAD BAD BAD idea. Dude. This is probably the surest way I know of to get your book rejected. EDITORS ARE BUSY FREAKING PEOPLE. THEY DO NOT HAVE TIME TO SCROLL THROUGH AND DELETE A BUNCH OF SPAM ABOUT YOUR BOOK, OR WORSE, OPEN PHYSICAL LETTERS ABOUT YOUR BOOK. THIS IS SO UNPROFESSIONAL IT MAKES ME HURT INSIDE.

I don't know. Maybe I should link to it. I don't want to do to this girl what happened when the last one appeared on Miss Snark, but then, let's face it, I don't have one-tenth the readership our beloved Miss S had. But still. I get the impression the girl in this case is very young. I dunno. Someone should tell her to cut that shit out immediately though.

It's just such a BAD idea. So, so, so bad. I know it's tempting, but seriously, y'all, make sure everyone you know (none of my readers would ever do anything like that, I know) that while this may seem like a clever and fun idea, it is NOT. (Not to mention, there is no way you could possibly get enough letters and emails sent to even come close to swaying an editor.) Editors aren't stupid, and they aren't for fricking sale.

Grrr.

A few things

2008-12-04T11:27:00.004Z

(Yes, some of this is copied from my post at the League today; sorry to those for whom it's a repeat.)

First, a bit of shameless drive-by promo: I'm doing an interview and chat-type-thing today at Bitten by Books, so come on by and say hi, ask me inappropriate questions, call me names, whatever you'd like to do! The interview will go up at 8 am PST, and I'll be giving away a $25 Amazon gift card, which you can use to BUY BOOKS. BOOKS, got it? No DVDs or CDs, no spatulas or bracelets or whatever. YOU WILL BUY BOOKS. (Lol. Of course you can buy whatever you like. But it would be nice if you bought books.) Oh, since it runs 8 am PST to 8 am PST, I will have to come back to announce the winner on Saturday, and I will be away when it actually ends. Sorry.

Second, since buying Chinese Democracy, we've been listening to it almost constantly--mainly because we are very lazy and will just leave the CD playing over and over in the car until we can't stand it anymore. I am pleased to report it's really grown on us. It's still no Appetite, but it's pretty good overall. It has hidden depths.

Third, as I mentioned above, tomorrow night is the Xmas party. And of course we're supposed to get snow and rain and all that miserab;e crap. Keep your fingers crossed it dowsn't happen, because I'd rather not freeze to death with my shoulders bare. And again, yes, I will post pictures as soon as I can.

Oh! Good news! (Well, for me, anyway.) UK iTunes has finally gotten at least a little bit of its butt in gear and I was able, this weekend, to download a few Pagans and Lazy Cowgirls songs. Yay!! (Of course they didn't have the Lazy Cowgirls' cover of the Straw Dogs' "Reborn", which sucks because that is a GREAT song, but it's something anyway.)

But here's another question about iTunes. Why do they always have lame crappy "new" versions of songs? I had a desire to download some cheesy 70s rock--stuff like that song "Brandy (You're a fine girl)", you know the one I mean? Which is totally nerdy and amusing to me. But the only copy iTunes has, is not the original version. I don't know for sure if it's the actual band, but it's been remastered or re-recorded or something, and it blows. This has happened to me several times now. I am not happy about it.

Oh, and one final thing. Go read this post from the lovely and clever Janet Reid. Take a deep breath, and read it again. Nod wisely. Take it to heart. Get on with your day.

Leave your hat on

2008-12-01T13:06:00.003Z

So. So so so so so.

Finished (almost) line edits for Unholy Ghosts over the long weekend, which was awesome. I love edits; I think they're so much fun. And it's made me even more excited aboutthe book than I already was, and I have ohsomany plans for its release (date TBD.)

This sort of (but not really) ties into something else. Well, several things. Almost.

First, I was reading Empire magazine earlier. I hardly ever read Empire anymore. It used to be really good; lately there have been errors galore--shit people writing about movies really should know. Like the time they claimed it was the Jerry O'Connell character in Stand By Me who threw up blueberry pie all over the people at the pie-eating contest, when everybody knows it was Lardass who did the vomiting, in a cunning revenge plan. And you know, a movie magazine should not be making that kind of stupid mistake, especially not when at least two people would have had to read it. There was another one, too, but I don't remember what it was. I think it might have had to do with The Breakfast Club. Anyway.

They did an article about this new movie with Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, which is going to be kind of like Heat but about John Dillinger. And they had some pictures of Depp and Bale and several other men, in costume. Which included hats.

Why, oh why, did men stop wearing hats? They look so good. So sharp and sexy; tough and sophisticated at the same time. But it's nearly impossible to find a man in a hat these days--and by "hat" I mean a real hat, a fedora or a porkpie or a snap-brim, not some fucking baseball cap. Baseball caps can be just fine, say, on an actual baseball diamond, or when doing work outside in the sun; I will never forget watching the hubs and my roommate (who was my ex) putting up plywood over the windows (hurricane coming) at our house, both wearing baseball caps. It was quite pleasing to see, I admit. Especially since they were both sweating profusely (summer in South Florida, remember.) While I hovered around, bringing drinks and taking advantage of the fact that not only am I a girl, I'm a petite girl, and thus was of no use at all to two men, both of whom stood over six feet (and, uh, still do of course), when it came to drilling holes in the walls and doing heavy lifting and stuff like that.

Sorry, I digressed a little bit there, didn't I? My point is, I wish men still wore real hats. One of my favorite bits in the book The Way You Wear Your Hat--which is an awesome book, btw--was the discussion of Sinatra's many hats, and how he loved them.

So I want to do something for hats. I think when I have signings and stuff I'm going to bring along special gifts for men wearing hats. I seriously doubt I'll get any takers, but it would be cool, wouldn't it?

This weekend is the formal Xmas party for hubs's work, so looking forward to that. Last year only one or two other women beside me actually dressed up; I have no idea why, considering that the men were all in tuxedos and it is a black-tie affair. I seriously considered dressing down this year, and possibly wearing something where people could actually see my legs. But my conscience refuses to allow it. If my husband is in a tuxedo it is inappropriate for me to be in a dress I might wear just as easily to the mall or something, and all the Cosmo articles in the world about making accessories "dress up" your look fail. Formal is formal. So I have a skirt (which requires a crinoline--luckily I own several) and a corset with a ruffle at the top, and I am ready to go. (Yes, I will post pics as soon as I have them.)

And there are two other cool bits of news!

First, Mark Henry--my fellow Reluctant Adult and great pal--has unveiled his new website!! MarkHenry.us is a treasure trove of fun stuff, music, little lists and funnies, info about Mrk and his (awesome) books--make sure you check it out, and be ready to spend some time! It's as full of zombie goodness as an all-night Romero film festival.

AND. This Thursday, December 4th, I'm going to be spending the day over at Bitten By Books, chatting and answering questions and generally having fun. My event starts at 8 am Pacific and runs until the same time the following day (although as I have the party and have to leave my house Friday morning for it, I'll have to come back to get to any comments I might have missed on Saturday). I'm even giving away a prize--a $25 Amazon gift card. They're lovely over at BBB, and it should be a good time, so make sure you come by to hang out! (I will post this again on Thursday.)

And that's pretty much it. Thanksgiving was okay but the turkey was dry; I tried something new and it was Not Good. But we watched our movies and hung out with the kiddies and generally enjoyed ourselves, so it doesn't matter. And, as I admitted in the comments to my previous post (on blogger), I don't really like turkey much anyway, so no big loss.

So, to sum up:

1. Empire is not as good as it used to be.
2. Men should wear hats.
3. I am dressing up properly on Friday.
4. Mark Henry's new site rocks.
5. I am hanging at Bitten By Books on Thursday
6. Cooking the turkey upside down for the first hour or so is the best way to get a juicy turkey.

Don't you have anything better to do?

2008-11-27T12:10:00.003Z

So, first, happy Thanksgiving everyone! We're celebrating here, of course; turkey (all they had was a fifteen-pound behemoth, so we've got plenty of turkey, oh yes), mashed potatoes, cornbread, green bean casserole, rolls, corn, cranberry sauce, and of course, homemade pumpkin pie. Ahhh. With fresh whipped cream. (We can't get Cool Whip here, and call me a philistine, but I love Cool Whip and don't care that it's made of inorganic substances. It's not like we eat the stuff every day.)

And of course, we're watching the news and keeping an eye on the terrible tragedy in Mumbai. And we're horrified, and distressed by it.

But you know what? We're still having Thanksgiving. I'm still blogging (and doing line edits for Unholy Ghosts, yay!) We're still going to watch Jaws and L.A. Confidential later--our traditional Thanksgiving movies--along with Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.

And I refuse to feel bad about that.

Just like I refuse to feel bad about getting caught up in whatever the internet scandal du jour is when the economy is having problems and there's a war on or whatever. Just like I refuse to feel bad about doing Christmas shopping when there was a tsunami. Or about taking my girls to the park or the play center when...well, insert-very-serious-issue-here.

I'm sure you've seen this, too. A little conversation starts on some blog or something about, say, Michelle Obama's election-night dress. Or Britney Spears. Or any one of thousands of inane and silly--but fun and diverting--discussions. And there's always got to be some grumpyass, more-intellectual-than-thou person who comes along and chides everyone for "wasting [our] time" talking about clothing or recipes or whatever, when "the economy is in the toilet/there's a war going on/people are dying/seals are being clubbed/whatever."

And oooh, does that ever piss me off.

You know what? I'm perfectly aware that there's a lot of misery in the world. I'm perfectly aware that thousands of people go to bed hungry, or that right at this moment someone could be dying, or losing everything they own, or someone could be measuring themselves for a pretty white seal-sin jacket. And yes, it bothers me. I hate it. Of course I worry about those things, of course they upset me.

But I cannot spend my entire life focusing only on Serious Issues. And neither can you, or anyone else. We're human; there's only so much we can take, you know?

Not to mention, even those topics cannot possibly take up entire days and weeks of conversation. You cannot spend your every waking hour writing, talking, or thinking about those topics because they are simply not complex enough to require it.

And what would be the point, anyway? I don't make government policy and neither do you (well, maybe you do; I know I have some readers in the DC area. *waves*) So we can spend our every waking moment involved in serious discussions about rainforests and ice caps and indigenous peoples, and it won't make a damn bit of difference--oh, except, apparently, to make us feel superior to others and prove how intellectual and above-it-all we are.

Because really, that's what's behind those comments. I love it when people inform me that my interests are silly and my conversations a waste of time--taking time out from their busy schedule of Judging Others and Improving Their Minds, it seems, to drop in and educate the Little Stupid People on what we should really be concerned about. Um, hey, if you have so many Serious Issues on your mind, why are you dropping by here anyway? Did you think perhaps over at the TalkAboutBooksandClothes blog (which I just made up) conversation has suddenly turned to terrorism and its root causes, and your input is sorely needed? Don't you have anything better to do, like maybe setting up a soup kitchen in your backyard and learning how to weave fabric so you can sew fresh clothing for everyone who needs it? Or maybe you'd prefer to make yourself some clothing--a t-shirt that says something like "I am superior to you in every way, as I only think of serious issues and am very, very smart. This makes me a total boor, but I don't care because I'm above all that too." I mean, that is the message you're trying to get across to us all, right? That you're better than we are because you're smarter and more serious, whereas we're a bunch of flighty idiots? And how dare we have discussions that don't meet your criteria, or interests that don't coincide exactly with yours?

I am a human being, and so--I presume--are all of you reading this. And you know what? I have a very wide range of interests and opinions, and I imagine you do as well. I think we ALL do. And while some topics may be more serious than others, I don't see any reason at all why we should all force ourselves to sit gloomily around, staring at each other and occasionally talking about unemployment.

We NEED diversions. We NEED things to remind us that life goes on. That the world is more than just a vale of tears and misery. There's good things, too, like high heels and french fries and great books and silver nail polish and action movies where the good guys always win and comedies where you laugh so hard tears roll down your cheeks and music and beer and fast cars and...any one of thousands of other things. That things might be bad now, but that doesn't mean they're never going to get better--and that maybe they're not as bad as we think. We need to remember that even in the midst of tragedy, one of the amazing things about being human is our ability to feel complex emotions; we can laugh through tears, or wear a bittersweet smile. We are perfectly capable of discussing many things, of feeling and thinking many things, all at once.

We're not one-note beings. And there is nothing in the world wrong with that, just like there is nothing in the world wrong with visiting Go Fug Yourself for some diversion from the misery we see on the news. Just like there is nothing wrong with trading gossip with friends because it's fun and we need a little break; something to take our mind off our problems.

Just like there is absolutely nothing wrong with being thankful today, even as we spare a thought for the victims in Mubai and their families. And there is nothing wrong with sitting down to a big feast today. There is nothing wrong with planning to go shopping tomorrow to take advantage of all those sales.

Because we need the break. We need the relaxation. We need the comfort of having our families and friends close to us. We need a laugh. We need to remember that in the midst of the bad, there is good, and that we can still laugh and talk and smile; our hearts can still lift, our heads can still clear, and above all, there is still hope in the world.

Because life goes on. And quite frankly, if you don't know that...maybe you're not as clever as you think.

Are bad books good for us?

2008-11-24T16:05:00.005Z

Funnily enough, I started planning this post on Saturday, and yesterday I wandered over to Smart Bitches and saw they were wondering the same thing--as, apparently, was a writer at The Guardian.

I'm not sure I agree, though.

See, I read a bad book this weekend. A bad book (and no, I am not going to tell you what it was, so don't even ask). A book I found almost no--no, make that no, period--redeeming features about. It was badly written and clunky. It was all tell, no show. There was some awful sex in it; really, really bad, complete with orgasms that sounded more like epileptic fits and terrible, unsexy word choices. I was informed characters were smart, when in fact the book showed them to be insipid ninnies; I'm surprised they were able to figure out how to work a faucet. The hero was an asshole, of the self-pitying crybaby type; the heroine was a hateful, childish moron.

Bad characters are one thing, but bad writing is insulting. And this was badly written, oh yes. I cringed. I gave so many snorts of incredulous laughter the hubs asked if I was coming down with a cold.

Now according to the Guardian writer, and the fabulous Bitches, this should be a positive experience, and make me better able to appreciate the really good books I've read. And I suppose to some degree that's true.

But reading that dreck made me think. It made me think about a review I saw once on Amazon, in which the reviewer complained that a character's backstory was not explained in the beginning of the book--in other words, she was upset there hadn't been an infodump.

And it got me thinking. What sort of books did that reviewer normally read, that she expected the main character's entire backstory to be explained right up front? You don't generally find those as much in popular fiction (and by "popular" I mean NY-published books with large readerships.) Oh, sure, you see them on occasion, but I think most professional editors see infodumps for the marks of amateurism they are, and don't buy novels with that sort of thing in them.

Which tells me that in large part, that reader was probably reading largely Bad Books.

I could be wrong, of course. It could simply be that she doesn't read much (or he; I don't remember the name of the reviewer or anything else about them.) Or it could be he or she does read good books and dislikes all of them for the same reason.

But I'm always amazed when I see books I've read and thought were just terrible on a technical level get great reviews. I don't mean books where the writing wasn't stellar but was serviceable, and the plot was good enough to keep me involved. I'm talking about really, truly awful books. The kind we've all read; the kind where, for example, historical characters use modern verbiage, or every other sentence ends with an exclamation point, or entire sentences fail to make any kind of sense despite several readings. (Here's an example of what I mean, that I just made up:

She held a hat in her hands and walked along the river, before it falls and blew away into the night sky with the water flying everywhere and tears hit her shoes.

See what I mean?)

So I see those positive reviews, and I can only assume one of two things. Either the reviewer hasn't actually read the book, or the reviewer is simply so well attuned to terrible prose that they don't notice it anymore, in the same manner as someone living near a dump wll eventually no longer smell the garbage.

Now, I'm not claiming my own writing is so great, either. This isn't about me being better than anyone else. Who knows, maybe the book I read this weekend is actually great, and I'm the dipshit who isn't smart enough to get it (although the reviews of it I've seen elsewhere agree with me.)

But whether or not it's a skill I truly possess, good writing is important to me. Words that snap and flow, images and metaphors that are poetic and clear. Characters who practically climb off the page, but not in a creepy The Ring kind of way. Plots that make sense, and fall neatly into place.

These things are important. Good writing should be both easy and difficult to read; it should resonate while challenging us. It should feel strange and familiar at once.

But once you grow accustomed to reading books where that challenge, that strangeness, that unique voice, isn't present...perhaps good writing becomes harder to see? Harder to recognize? Isn't it possible that, much as a person who only ever eats potato chips may have a hard time eating something more complex--indeed, may begin to hate something more complex, as it forces them to experience something new and different--reading nothing but bad prose may make good writing seem too hard? Too much of a challenge. Instead of wanting to watch a story unfold we begin to want everything up front; we don't want to get to know the characters, we don't want to spend time in the world. We don't want to have to pay attention to what's on the page, in other words.

I'm not saying every book we read has to be incredibly high quality, not at all. And again, I'm not saying I'm such a great writer, either.

I'm just wondering if perhaps bad writing, instead of teaching us to appreciate good writing, only breeds more bad writing. When a writer reads published books as part of their learning process, and those published books are lazy, lousy, and unclear...what does that say to them? What level of work will they shoot for, if they think the terrible book they've just read is where they need to be?

What do you guys think?

A little more about self-publishing, and a little more other stuff too

2008-11-20T15:25:00.002Z

In a funny coincidence, on Monday or Tuesday evening I received an Author Questionnaire in my email, from the wonderful folks at Del Rey. And, well, wow.

They are THOROUGH. There's a lot of stuff on there. While I don't actually have answers for some of it--since nobody wants to give me awards and I never went to college, and am a big old loser who doesn't belong to any professional associations or anything, which is actually quite depressing--it's a clear sign that there is a nice, big publicity dept. at Del Rey, and they're waiting to do whatever they can to promote me and my book.

You're not going to get that from a self-publisher. Not at all. Not one bit. You'll be on your own, floundering around in a very confusing world.

See, the thing is, the writing world is all about competition. Not directly--well, sort of, but I'm getting there in a minute--because all books are different. But yes, directly, because there has to be a reason for a reader to pick up your book instead of someone else's.

A professionally published book has a lot of competition. And while a publisher can and will do whatever they can to sell your book (remember, we talked about that "Publishers don't do any promo" myth a week or two ago), they can't make anyone read it. All they can do is get it into stores, send it to review publications and websites, and set up whatever signings or tours or events or whatever they can. They can get the word out, and put the book in front of readers who may be interested in it. Promoting Unholy Ghosts to, for example, elderly ladies who spend their time playing tennis and gardening is probably not the best use of promotional dollars; those ladies are not likely to be interested in a book about drugs, ghosts, and ghettos.

And my publisher knows that, which is why they will probably not be advertising the book in the AARP newsletter (I mean no disrespect here, of course, to AARP members or kick-ass grandmas who love urban fantasy; I'm sure there are some out there. I'm just saying the market is very small.)

But for that market, my book is in direct competition with books those ladies would like better. Danielle Steele or Maeve Binchy novels, for example (and I loves me some Maeve, foreals). Books about how to perfect your backswing by repotting ivy. Women's fiction with older female characters. Family sagas. Reams of non-fiction and memoirs. All of that stuff is likely to attract those grandmas before they start looking for books about junkie witches set in punk-rock ghettos. So if we decided to go for that audience, we'd have a hard slog convincing them to give me a go, with all that other stuff out there attracting their attention.

Worse than that, all the other stuff out there is right under their noses, at the bookstore or the grocery store or Wal-Mart or Sam's Club or wherever they buy their books. In bookstores I'm on an equal footing with them, because my book is there too. But if they buy their books exclusively at Publix? There's a good chance I won't be there.

And therein lies the main problem with self-publishing fiction. You cannot get into bookstores. When the rep from my publisher and/or the rep from the distributer talks to the bookstore, they talk about my book, because that's what they're paid to do. When you're self-published, you're not even going to get a meeting. You might--might--be able to get into your local bookstore, if you talk to the manager. But nationwide? Forget it. There's a very, very slim chance it will happen, but it probably won't.

Why?

Because readers aren't stupid.

This is not a reflection on you or your ability, it really isn't. You may be a wonderful writer who simply has no interest in "going corporate". As I said on onday, it's a feeling I sympathize with and understand.

But readers don't. Readers, real readers, know about books. They know what good writing is. They know who their favorite authors are, and they can probably name at least two or three of the big publishers, if not more. They know when they're looking at a book not published with one of those houses. They know, when they open the book, if it's badly written. Quite frankly, if they don't know that? They're probably not big readers to begin with, and so are even less likely to be looking for something new to read, and grabbing your book or ordering it online. (I see countless self-published or vanity-published writers out there who admit they don't read and/or don't like to read; yet they expect people to buy and read their books. Why? I don't like playing video games, so I wouldn't expect anyone to enjoy playing a game I came up with. If I don't like to do it, why do I think other people would waste their time with me?)

I know you're thinking, "But they don't have to be real readers. I want the people who only buy a couple of books a year! That's all I need." To which I say, with some sadness, "Good luck." Because those people? Are even less likely to be trolling the internet looking for new novels. They're less likely to buy a novel by someone whose name they don't recognize. We're talking about people who buy ten copies of the latest NY bestseller to give as Christmas gifts, and never walk into a bookstore the rest of the year.

Nor do most review sites want to review self-published books, for the very reason of their not having been through a "vetting" process. Good as yours might be, you have to bear the weight of all those terrible ones out there; yours will be lumped in with them. Not to mention that, while we do have issues on occasion with professionally-published writers who throw internet tantrums over poor or lukewarm or simply not stellar reviews, the incidence appeares to be much higher with self-published books; these are people who don't understand that reviews are written for readers, not as cheap or free promo for authors.

The simple fact is, in self-publishing fiction you are competing against every other novel out there. Novels published by companies the public trusts. Novels in bookstores. Novels with reviews in magazines and on websites. Novels in other stores. Novels their friends and family are talking about. Novels that people have turned into TV shows or films. It's a tough world even for writers published by the major houses; imagine if you didn't have any of that backing at all.

As a self publisher you're not just a writer. You have dozens of jobs, including sales. As a professionally-published writer, you have one. Writing. Yes, it takes a lot of hard work and time to get there. But it's so worth it. And really, if you're self-publishing because you don't want to do the work and/or the wait to get a NY contract, do you really think you'll have the time, patience, and persistence you need to do all those extra jobs too?

Anyway. In other news. As I mentioned early at the League, I have started a new Yahoo group. My old group was shamefully dead; I never did much with it at all. It was also a December group, whereas the new one is for Stacia's UF. So. Head on over to the new Stacia Kane Newsgroup and sign up. I really am going to do stuff with it, I promise. Excerpts, teasers, actual news--I even plan to do a semi-quarterly newsletter--all those good things. So I hope to see you there. Especially as there should be some interesting news soon, and it will go there first.

When self-publishing can work

2008-11-17T16:32:00.003Z

Oh, I'm back, for the most part. I'm still knee-deep in edits and about to get back to serious writing work. And I forgot today was Monday because I was hanging out at Murder One in London on Saturday, and we went shopping in Bristol on Sunday (Xmas gifts for the kiddies--we think we're actually about done with the girls already as far as buying presents, which is great), so yesterday felt like Saturday and I'm all confused.

But, I did say I would do a post on this, so here it is!

I used to be a little punk girl. I guess in a way I still am, even though I don't actively keep up with the scene or go to shows anymore because, y'know, that whole I-have-two-young-children thing. And really, at 35, I don't necessarily want to be the oldest person in the room. But it never really goes away. I still listen to the bands I used to listen to; every band I mention in the Downside books is a band I listen to and like.

So the word "indie" is one I'm familiar with, and one whose meaning I know well--which is to say, I know it well enough to know that a band released by a major label is not an indie band, no matter how they might want to pretend they are.

And I admit, it feels kind of weird to be such an advocate of Big Publishing, when I spent so much of my late teens and early 20s hugely involved in the indie world. My ex ran a very small record label, which I used to help him with. I remember being told by a certain member of a certain band that they were about to sign a major-label contract and being fairly horrified. I didn't say anything, but the words "SELL OUT! SELL OUT!" appeared shreiking red in my brain. And I still think of them that way.

But there's a big difference between the punk music world and publishing. Music is a very different medium; there is an entire subculture--with its own subcultures--devoted to certain types of music, whose members eat, sleep, and breathe that music. There's magazines like Maximum RocknRoll ("MRR"), or smaller personal zines, who do reviews and interviews, and whose tour dates are listed. You can go see a band play and buy their CDs and t-shirts; the only record stores I went into for years were small indie stores.

And everybody knows everybody else in the punk world. We used to have bands stay at our house; they'd have friends who were in other bands with them. You got to know which labels produced the kinds of bands you liked. It's very easy to grow in that world, if you're any good.

Publishing does not have this kind of supportive underground. It just doesn't. Hordes of kids don't gather to hear a writer read from their indie novel. I think this is largely because it's not as much fun to drink beer and leap around and listen to somebody read out loud as it is to drink beer, leap around, and shout along to music. You can't jump up onstage and start reading along, like you can at a punk show. Not to mention how much more subjective reading tastes are than musical tastes.

So while an indie band stands a good chance at some sort of success (even if it's simply not having to spend any of their own money to tour), an indie book has a much, much harder slog. There are no big shows where people get together and talk about books and share copies of books. There is no MRR to review indie books (although MRR used to do some book reviews on occasion.) There just isn't this thriving group of dedicated people.

Which is why self-publishing for fiction is so difficult.

Non-fiction has it a bit easier. For example, say you are a model train enthusiast, and you've written a book about a particular aspect of model trains. A major publisher would probably not be that interested, because the audience isn't likely to be more than a couple of thousand. But you could self-publish that, and your friends and fellow model train enthusiasts would probably be eager to buy it. You could earn yourself a tidy little sum with that book; you could have a lot of readers. You could take it to model train conventions. You could set up a model train website and sell copies; you could be interviewed in model train magazines. In other words, although you yourself do not have a platform, your subject already does.

Or perhaps you're a teacher or professor, and you've written a book about your topic. You could sell it to your students and do well. Same if you're an inspirational speaker or regularly give talks on a subject; maybe you give tips on public speaking, and do seminars on it. Your little book of public-speaking tips could be sold at your engagements, and bring in an extra few hundred bucks at all of your speeches. Or maybe you're an ex-pilot who's written a book for people afraid to fly. Or you make historical costumes and have put together a book of tips, which can be sold at vintage clothing stores and/or websites, of which there are hundreds. Or you've written about Barbie collecting (though of course you'd need to be careful in that case about copyright and trademarks). Or knitting socks. Anything that ties in with something else can be a nice little platform for self-published non-fiction.

Or for another example, there's my summer series on sex scenes. I still haven't decided fully what to do with it, but in addition to other thoughts, I've considered simply turning it into a PDF and offering it as a free download on Lulu, even giving the option to have it as a print book (the reader would have to pay for the book itself, but I would probably either not charge anything over the printing cost or it would be a dollar for charity or something.) I don't have a huge platform but I do have one, by way of the blog and my published books. So I anticipate if I did that it would sell fairly well. A lot of writers do this sort of thing; I know Holly Lisle offers a lot of writing-guide downloads etc. on her website and she's probably far from the only one.

But in those cases there is already a platform, and that is so important for self-publishing. And they're both non-fiction. For fiction...

Well, for fiction you're going to have a very hard time.

I'm always amazed when I see authors's websites which do not have any excerpts or anything. This happens often with, say, PA authors, and it confuses the hell out of me. Why would you not show the readers what they're getting? In what world do you expect people to buy a book without knowing anything about it? Your website is supposed to help sell your books; nobody cares about your cats or your husband, they want to see your book. And if your book isn't in stores, you need to work harder to suck them in. You need to build the platform you do not otherwise have, basically.

This is why I don't normally think self-publishing is a good idea for fiction. How are readers going to find you? They might find your non-fic book because they're looking for model trains, but what will they be looking for to find your novel? What is going to draw them to it? Why would they buy it instead of a book in stores?

Because contrary to what some scam publishers may try and tell their ~~victims~~ "authors", most people buy books from bookstores. Oh yes, some buy at WalMart or Target or the grocery store, but most novels are sold in bookstores. (Those statistics about the huge percentage of books not sold in bookstores include vanity-press books, textbooks, technical pamphlets and guidebooks, self-published books, etc. etc. etc.) It's difficult to impossible to get self-published books into bookstores, or any stores, and that's why if you're writing fiction it's best to go with the biggest publisher you can. And if you keep getting rejected? You write a better book until one of them makes it.

I know it's not what people necessarily want to hear. And I know it kind of sucks. And I think on Thursday I'm going to talk about this some more, because I have more to say.

But the bottom line is, self-publishing is not necessarily a bad thing, and it's not necessarily a sign that your work isn't good enough to interest a major house or even a smaller one. It can work. Specialized non-fiction can do very well self-published.

But fiction's another story, and I'll talk about it a bit on Thusday.

Tintagel

2008-11-14T12:12:00.001Z

Caitlin's going to put pictures up tomorrow, but I'm going to beat her to the punch a little on this one, heh.

Tintagel is cool. What is not cool is trying to figure out where the damned castle actually IS.

We parked. We walked in the general direction indicated by the sign. And walked. And walked.

It was rainy and extremely foggy. Great for atmosphere ("ooh, the land of the Celts and maaaagick,") but not so great when you're trying to find your way around, while simultaneously hoping the turn you're about to make isn't going to take you right off the edge of a cliff and down to the rocks below. Because, seriously? I wouldn't even have seen it until I was five feet out into thin air, ala Wyle E Coyote.

Anyway. We saw a sign for the Castle View, and a handicapped symbol, so figured we'd head that way, and ended up at the Castle Hotel. Now, there would indeed have been a lovely view from there, had we been able to see it, but we weren't. And it clearly was not the way to the castle anyway. So we decided to go inside and ask the clerk, because at that point we'd been wandering around in the fog for a good half hour (and hadn't gone back in time or anything once, what a gyp) and our time was limited.

The desk clerk, a very sweet-looking lady with a Norswedstrianfinerlandnordicmark accent, warned (when--this is important--we asked how to get to the castle) us that the path was steep and it's very misty, but we should go down the path marked "Coast Walk."

Um, no. The "Coast Walk" was almost as bad as those one-lane hedged roads we ended up wandering on Tuesday; practically a 90% angle, and wet, and muddy. But we braved it, and were fairly cheerful, even, until my right foot slipped and I FELL ON MY ASS IN THE MUD. SMELLY MUD.

I was not happy. And poor Caitlin thought for a minute I was dead or something, apparently, and envisioned herself trying to figure out how to get home from THE END OF THE WORLD.

But of course I was not dead, only mightily pissed off, and getting more pissed by the minute when we realized that our friendly hotel desk clerk either A) Had a sick sense of humor; B) Hated either all Americans, or just us; or C) was confused, when we asked--in Tintagel--where the castle was, and thought we meant this other ruin on the other side of the hill. Taking that coast path would have eventually gotten us to Tintagel Castle, after wandering over cliffs and bushes for a few miles. But seriously, when someone asks you--in Tintagel, where everything is named after King Arthur or Merlin, and you work in a hotel called "The Castle", and you have a big sign advertising the beautiful views of the castle--by which they mean Tintagel--all over your workplace, how they can get to the castle...well, you'd think directing them to Tintagel Castle would be kind of the first thing you'd think to do, right?

No. We made our angry and overheated way back up the hill--did I mention how incredibly fucking steep it was?--and back into town, ready to give up and go get a beer or something, when we finally saw a sign for the castle, previously hidden by mist.

And that was a fuck of a steep walk too, but we made it. And Caitlin has pictures--it's freaking gorgeous, that place--but here's a fuzzy one of me, complete with rain-curled hair and odd expression. I don't think it really looks like me--and jeez, the size and expanse of that forehead!--but it will do (and hey, it may not look like me, but at least I do look thin, and not like I have ten chins or something).

Professionalism and You!

2008-11-10T17:11:00.001Z

Yes, today's post and Thursday's post will probably be short, as I do have a houseguest, and I am currently editing two novels. So, sorry everyone, don't expect much from me--although I am hoping that Thursday I might be able to do my "Projects self-publishing is good for" post. (If I don't get to it, I will do it next week. Thursday we're going to Tintagel so I think it will probably be next week, when I will be all by my lonesome again.)

Anyway. So here are some random thoughts about professional behavior and YOU. (Like one of those filmstrips they showed you in elementary school.)

There's been a bit of discussion around online about whether publishers should censor authors or tell them what they should and should not be saying online. And in the main this is ridiculous. My publishers are not my employers; and even if they were, why in the world would we have them censor me outside work?

It strikes me as intensely amusing that the same people who want publishers to tell their authors to shut up online, tend to be the same people who go crazy when, for example, bloggers are fired for keeping a blog. How is that not the exact same thing? And we rightly recognize that firing people for keeping blogs outside of work hours--blogs in which they criticize an employer or indistry, usually, but sometimes it's just innocuous writing--is shameful and wrongheaded, and a violation of rights.

But we want publishers to drop authors for saying or doing things online that we don't like? No. That is not right, any more than firing anyone else for what they do in their free time.

At the same time, though, there is a line that can be crossed. It can be very difficult to keep author and publisher separate in the ebook world, and when an author is just a flat-out shithead (no, I'm not thinking of anyone in particular, just in general) it can be difficult to remember that there's every chance the publisher is cringing behind the computer screen, same as we are.

And really...being a shithead doesn't mean someone is a bad writer. Being a shithead doesn't mean they don't deserve to have a job.

But it does--or rather, it can--place a rather unfair burden on the other authors with that publisher, or on the publishers themselves. They have a choice. They can ignore the issue. They can show up to apologize and make clear that Crazy McShitheady does not speak for them. Or they can indulge in their own shady obfuscation.

My favorite Unprofessional Publisher Behavior--gee, I've been seeing a lot of this lately--is to turn up in the message board thread or blog comment thread to defend one's own company by claiming the publisher is being flamed, or that the other people commenting are jealous because their work was rejected (that one is popular; apparently several companies to which I have never submitted are now claiming they rejected me, and that is why I'm engaging in such vicious and nasty "flaming" behavior as pointing out that epublishing is a different industry from print publishing, or informing people that the "You have to give back your advance" lie is exactly that--A LIE.)

Asking questions--like "You've claimed X; can you provide details?" is not flaming. A professional publishing house should welcome the opportunity to announce their successes, not run away when asked to provide details. Just like the only agents you see online who refuse to list their sales or clients tend to be agents who have no reputable sales and no clients published with non-vanity/subsidy/PublishAmerica houses. (If you see an agent who refuses to diculge this information, do not submit to them.)

A professional publishing house should answer those questions. A professional publishing house should not call people names. A professional publishing house should not tell its authors that the people who are asking questions about it are "bitter rejected failures"--especially not when the people asking the questions have easily-findable professional credits; hell, even when they don't, going for the "She's just jealous because she was rejected" is disgusting, an easy way for the publisher to smear others and downplay the criticisms levied at them without actually having to provide any facts.

Funnily enough, all of this behavior makes me think I would prefer to not be connected with such publishing houses, far more than one crazy author. A crazy author is nothing; one could argue we're all a little crazy. But how it's handled makes a huge difference. A publisher who laughs it off, sets the record straight, and answers questions openly and honestly has my vote, no matter what demented, pretentious twits their authors might be.

A house who insists they're being "harrassed" and "flamed", a house who says they'll answer all questions and then refuses to do so or simply never shows back up to answer them, a house who avoids the issue when asked simple questions or when told that someone claiming to represent them said X, and it was a terrible thing to say, and is it true?...

All of these are warning signs, plain and simple.

My publishers don't tell me what to do or say, and I'm glad. There are some subjects I choose to remain silent on for my own reasons. There are some subjects I would never touch, or things I would never say, simply because my own internal censor cringes at the very thought ("My book is so much better than the plotless shit those other houses put out" would be one such statement, and yes, I've seen comments just like that before [for the record, I would never even think such a thing about my work, much less say it].)

And there are some subjects I avoid because they were told me in confidence. I would never, for example, publicly repeat private conversations with my agent or editor. I don't discuss the submissions process much, until there's something to tell. I don't discuss the editing process, save generalities; I'm doing edits, I'm having fun with edits, that sort of thing. Those things are private; in the same way I don't discuss my sex life or arguments with my husband, I keep those to myself.

But my publisher shouldn't tell me what to say; quite frankly, as long as they behave professionally, I doubt I'm much of a threat to them. It's when both writer and publisher seem to be riding the CrazyInternetLoon Bus that my eyebrows go up and my opinion goes down.

How about you? What do you see as "red flag" behavior?

Don't believe everything you hear Pt. 2

2008-11-06T20:18:00.005Z

Sorry this is so late, everyone. I have been swanning around Devon with Miss Caitlin Kittredge, doing awesome things like taking pictures of gravestones and eating chips by the river. Yes, we rock.

Okay. On Monday we talked about the Big Myth--usually spread and perpetuated by vanity presses who are trying to convince you either that there's no difference between vanity publishing houses and major NY houses or legitimate small presses, or sometimes even that vanity publishing is SUPERIOR to those (often along with the other bullshit they'll throw in some crap about how NY editors will change your Golden Words and not give you a say, which is also Not True)--that you have to give back a NY advance if the book doesn't earn out. This is a lie.

Today's lie is even more widespread and insidious; I see it everywhere. Even people who should know better spread this one, and it is:

That a major house will do nothing to promote you unless you're a bestseller anyway. First-time or midlist authors are left to twist in the wind.

The reason this one is so widespread and insidious is there is some truth to it. No, first-time or midlist authors don't get the same kind of ad push that Stephen King gets, of course not. Stephen King gets full-page ads in People or Entertainment Weekly; most new or midlist authors don't get that.

But you know why? It's because in the main those ads do not work. It might help get a writer's and book's name in front of readers, but if it's a writer they've never heard of they don't really care or pay much attention. Magazine ads are effective to readers for whom King is an auto-buy, and it's a good way to let them know a new book is coming. But in general, ads for books don't really work for new authors. People don't buy books because the ad is neat; they but it because their friends liked it, or they read an interesting review, or because it attracted their interest in a book store and they flipped through it and liked it.

And that is where a publisher comes in.

The idea that a publisher publishes a book and then leaves it to languish is just silly, if you think about it. WHY? Why on earth would they publish a book and then let it sit around doing nothing? You do realize that by the time a book goes to press the publisher has already spent thousands of dollars on it, right? Between the advance, and the editing, and the cover design? (We'll get to ARCs in a minute.)

The only chance a publisher has to recoup that money is to sell the books to readers. That's it. So on what planet would a company produce a product and then stick it in a warehouse and forget about it? Is that a sound business plan?

Publishers need to sell their books to readers. The way they do this is to get the book in stores. That doesn't happen by chance. There's no guarantee every book printed will be in stores, far from it. This is where the publisher's sales team comes in. They sell the book to stores. They push the book; they talk it up. They arrange end-cap or front-table shelving (and pay for it; well, not the sales staff personally, but you know what I mean.)

So. Your publisher isn't paying to send you on a multi-city tour? Okay. But is your book in stores? If it is, then you have already received promotion--far more promotion than author-cheating scamsters PublishAmerica or any other vanity/subsidy press can provide. Their books do not get shelves in stores; they do not have a sales staff that will tell the bookstore buyers that your book is the greatest thing since sliced bread. The only way a vanity press like PublishAmerica gets books in stores at all is if their authors personally visit the stores and beg the managers to carry the books (I say "beg" because most bookstore managers know that PA books do not have standard discounts and return policies, so a lot of the time they refuse to shelve it or make the author provide copies to sell on consignment.)

If your book is in stores, you have received promotion.

Publishers--real ones--produce ARCs (Advance Reading Copies) of books to send to various reviewers (and you as the author get copies free, too; how many is usually specified in your contract). These are free books; nobody pays the publisher for them. ARCs are sent out at least three months before publication, because publishers know reviews sell books. They do. Nothing else sells books like reviews and recommendations, nothing.

Did you get ARCs? Did your book get pre-release or release-day reviews?

If so, you have received promotion.

Yes, of course in this day and age writers are expected to do a lot of promo themselves. It might not be a contractual obligation, but frankly, both publishers and readers expect you to have some sort of online presence, even if it's just a basic website. They want to be able to find you. If they see a review of your book they want to be able to learn more about it. If they find your blog and like it they want to read blurbs and excerpts. And what's wrong with that? Nothing.

But the difference between the promo you do for a professional house, and the promo you do for a vanity press, is huge. With a professional house you do what you enjoy. Don't like blogging? Don't blog. Personally I love blogging. You might not. You might love doing loop chats instead. So you do those. That's fine. You're just getting your name out there a bit.

With a vanity press? YOU have to convince managers to put your book on the shelves. YOU have to work 2-3 times as hard to try and get signings because nobody wants a signed vanity-press book. You have no one helping you; big publishers have PR people who work with authors to set up events, and on other forms of promo. A vanity press will not offer you this.

To put it another way, a novel published by a major house gets promotion. It gets in stores, it gets reviews, and you get respect.

With a vanity press, all you get is your book, and you have to do even more work to attempt to make people read it.

That's not to say all vanity presses are scame or that vanity or self-publishing is always a bad idea; there are some markets, and some people, for whom it can work very well (maybe I'll talk about those next week.)

But anyone who tells you a major house is going to print your book and then not lift a finger to sell it is lying. Publishers HAVE to sell books; that is their business. It's the only way they make money. Why in the world would they not want to do that?

Okay, yay!

2008-11-05T07:47:00.002Z

WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP NOW (by you, I mean the media, the candidates, the pollsters, and everyone who turned every discussion into a political one)? CAN WE FINALLY STOP TALKING AND THINKING ABOUT THE ELECTION?

My election-day statement on voting

2008-11-04T18:45:00.000Z

Don't vote.

Seriously. Who cares? I don't. If you want to not vote, that's a-okay by me.

Every election year I dread the rush of cheerful reminders to vote, vote, vote. You know, I know it's election day. I know I have the right to vote. And it's not that I don't think voting is a good thing; I absolutely do.

But I also think if the general populace has its head so far up its ass that it has to be constantly reminded and pushed into voting, much the same way my children need to be told five or six times to pick up their toys before they actually get around to it... Then man, I'd rather they not do it.

I am not a child. I don't need to be henpecked into voting. All this "Go vote! Get out and vote!" stuff makes me feel like a little kid whose Mommy pinned a note to my coat reminding me not to forget my mittens.

Seriously. If you want to vote, that's great. If you don't? That's fine with me too. And you know what else? If you don't vote, you still have every right in the world to bitch and complain, because whether you vote or not you're still an American and you have the right to bitch and complain. Nobody has the right to tell you you can't bitch and complain about who's in the White House or the Senate or whatever, just because you didn't vote--voting is a right, not an obligation. What if the candidate you would have voted for lost in a landslide, and your vote wouldn't have made a difference at all?

Participate in election day, or don't. I'm not bothered either way. And if you hate both candidates and decide you want no part of either of them, good for you. I can never figure out why people insist you participate in a process when you don't want to. Or don't care. The simple truth is, there is a large portion of the population whose lives change not one bit no matter who the President is. There are some people who are genuinely undecided, and what's wrong with that? Why should they be forced to make a choice, when they're equally happy or unhappy with either?

Nobody should be insisting you vote for a candidate in whom you don't believe, simply so you can get your sticker or whatever and not be given dirty judgemental looks by strangers--strangers for whom it's none of their goddamn business if you voted or not, or what that vote was.

So there you go. That's my election-day statement. Vote or don't; I'm certainly not going to tell you what to do. You're welcome here either way.

Don't believe everything you hear

2008-11-03T13:39:00.004Z

So, I've seen this a lot lately, and for the life of me I can't figure out why. I had no idea people actually still BELIEVED this one, but in the last week or two I've seen it mentioned by several people, so I'm going to talk about it here.

Of course, Victoria Strauss has already discussed it at the Writer Beware blog, but hey, the more the merrier, right?

Here's the big myth:

If your book doesn't sell enough copies to earn out the advance, the author has to give the advance back.

This is NOT TRUE. It is, in fact, 100% FALSE.

For whatever reason, as well, the numerous people I've seen making this claim, are all saying it was "a Random House author" they know who had to give back the money. I found this particularly interesting considering RH is now my publisher.

Let me tell you all something. When my lovely agentman was negotiating my contract, the ONLY things discussed about the advance were A)How much; B)When; and C)Joint accounting (I'm not saying whether or not I'm subject to joint accounting, mind, just that the subject came up). Not once, not ever, did the suggestion that if the book doesn't earn out I should give back the advance come up. It never occurred to any of us that this would be the case; in fact, I'm sure that if I'd asked Chris about it I would have been met with a long, puzzled silence, followed by a "No...why on earth would you think you'd have to pay it back?"

Of course, my denials--and the denials of far more knowledgeable folks than me, people like Cathy Clamp and Victoria Strauss--are brushed aside with the excuse that "Everybody's contract is different."

Well, yes, to some extent they are. Advances are different. Royalty rates may be different; grant of rights may be different. There's any number of little things that could change. But making the author give back the advance? Do you seriously, honestly believe that there are contract out there with major houses that require that?

Do you really think there are some authors out there who'd have to pay back their advance, and we've never heard about it? That such behavior wouldn't cause a stir, that nobody in the legitimate publishing world would have heard of it?

Really. Think about it. When Del Rey offered me an advance, what they were in essence doing was saying, "We think this book is good enough that it will sell X number of copies, which will equate to X amount in royalties. So we'll give her that amount now."

Why in the world would they even offer me an advance if they were going to make me return the money if they didn't earn it back? Why not simply offer me publication in and of itself?

For that matter, why wouldn't they have given me a much, much bigger advance? I'm not complaining, trust me, but seriously. If they knew whatever they didn't earn back, they'd get back, why not give everybody a million dollars? Why not give everybody only a thousand dollars? Why bother, in other words, with P&L statements or calculations?

Why be so choosy in what they accept for publication, if there's no risk? They get their money back either way, so why not? (Of course, there IS a publishing model that works this way--it's called vanity or subsidy publishing.)

And can you imagine the accounting nightmare if returning advance money was a standard practice, or even an occasional one? Advances aren't paid all at once, as everyone knows; usually you get a chunk on signing, a chunk on delivery of the edited ms, and a chunk on publication. Sometimes it's just signing and delivery, sometimes just signing and publication, but it really doesn't matter. Just imagine, for a minute, the complicated calculations and enormous staff publishing houses would have to do and have; Okay, we've paid Author B X amount of dollars, and we still owe her X, but before that check goes out we'll see what she owes us here...

Let's not even get into the thought of when that money would come due. Okay, Author B, we paid you 10k as an advance, and your book has been out 3 months and only earned 7k, but of course it could still sell for another two years, and then there's returns, and...

Seriously. You'd need a byzantine legal agreement and a huge team of accountants and lawyers in order to figure that one out.

It's silliness. Just plain silliness. There is no way in hell an arrangement like that would work, and if any of these people seriously thought about it for more than two minutes they'd see that.

Trust me. If Unholy Ghosts never sells a single copy (ohpleaseletitsellmoreohpleaseohpleaseletpeoplebuymybookpleeeeease) I still keep my advance. Every penny of it (save my agent's cut, of course, and the stupid taxes). I can spend it on whatever I want; it's MINE.

The other thing that interests me, though, about this rumor, is how many people claim they heard it from a real author who did a book or an article or gave a seminar. Why is this so interesting?

Because--and this is something we've dicussed on this blog before--any dipshit can call themselves an author, and claim to be an expert, and write article and seminars. Anyone.

Recently on Absolute Write we had a man who'd paid a vanity press to publish his books. The Amazon ranking for those books--yes, I know it's not a really reliable indicator but still--hovered in the millions. And yet, this man gave "publishing seminars" and charged a lot of money for his advice. I know one of the ~~lies he told~~ pieces of misinformation he gave out at his seminars was this same "You have to give back the advance" crap.

It never fails to amaze me how many people out there, who have no experience in real publishing, claim to be Published Authors (always capitalized) and to be able to help and advise others on the business of publishing.

And lots of them look impressive. They'll have fliers or posters that list them as "multi-published authors" or "bestselling authors". Never mind that they're multi-published with a vanity house, or that they're bestsellers in their particular genre at that publishing house, where they compete against two other books and hit bestseller status by selling five copies in a month. (Seriously; remember in the Publishing series when I talked about the girl with the starup ehouse who was excited about being a bestseller there, only to discover at royalty time that she sold three copies? That did actually happen.)

Anybody can claim to be anything on the internet, don't forget. Anyone can charge you money to listen to their useless and misleading and bad advice, don't forget that too. Just because Bob Bobbs (not his real name) charges you $800 for his advice, doesn't mean his advice is any good.

Just as with checking out publishers, just as with everything else, be careful who you listen to and give your money to. Check the credentials they present; do they call themselves best-sellers but you've never heard of them? Google them, what do you find--is it other people talking about them, or is it them talking about themselves? (If you goggle me, you get a lot of me, but a lot of other people talking about me, too, and I'm not particularly big or important. Someone whose only online presence is one they've made themselves, or among one very small group of people, is obviously not that big.) What is their Amazon ranking (yes, not too important, but it's something you can check)? How many reviews do their books have on Amazon, and are those reviews well-wrriten or do they sound like somebody's aunt cobbled something together ("This is an amazing book event! I couldnt put it down it was beautiful. Every one shuld read it. Bob Bobbs is a much better writer than Steven Kings or JK Rawlins. This book take the reader on a magical trip to world you never thought you would ever see." That sort of thing.)

Who are their publishers? What other books do those publishers put out? Check them out the same way we checked out publishers in the Publishing series; are they a vanity press? Quite frankly, unless you are claiming to be an expert in self-publishing, your credentials should be with real presses. A "publishing expert" who has never actually dealt with a major house is no expert. (I did my series on epublishers, yes, but I had/have a lot of experience with those. I wasn't claiming to know a lot about publishing in general, just about epublishing.)

Seriously. Do NOT believe everything you're told, especially not by people who don't know what they're talking about. Authors DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT have to pay back advances if their books don't earn out.

Trust me on that one; or better yet, trust every other published writer in the world along with me.

Thursday I'm going to talk about promotion and marketing myths and lies, because that's another big one I've seen recently.

Calling all MEN!!!

2008-10-28T13:20:00.002Z

So...this won't come as a surprise to any regular readers, but I think facial hair on men is pretty sexy. Remember Macho Week? I particularly like muttonchops. And big, droopy mustaches. No, seriously.

So the hubs--who is an on-again, off-again facial hair guy, which is just peachy with me--has been trying for some time to interest the guys he works with in growing mustaches together, or doing some fun facial hair thing.

And he forwarded this to me this morning, and I got all excited.

TAH-DAH! IT'S MOVEMBER!

It's a month-long mustache-growing event, for men's health charities, and I think it's AWESOME. Seriously, there's breast cancer and cervical cancer and uterine cancer awareness EVERYWHERE, but very little attention is paid to specific men-only cancers like prostate or testicular cancer.

Movember is an international event; each country has its own charity sponsors (they're listed on each country's page there.)

So guys...here's your chance! Grow that Fu Manchu or droopy handlebar! Grow those muttonchops! Grow the "Santa" or the "Anton LaVey"! It's fun! It's awesome! It's for charity!

Go sign up at the Movember website, seriously. Get your offices involved, or your manfriends.

And please, send me pictures. I'll post them on the blog if you want--that could be fun, huh? And I'll give something away. We'll do, say, a Movember contes, and we'll put up pics of your facial hair, and vote or I'll pick a winner, and the winner gets an ARC or my entire ebook collection or something spiffy like that. What do you say?

Are you macho enough, my beloved manfriends?

Halloween Week at the League!!

2008-10-27T15:45:00.002Z

Oooh, we've got a fun week planned!

We have Halloween stories and anecdotes from writers, editors, and agents. We have Halloween recipes (and Samhain recipes). We have funny stories, and scary stories. We have pictures and videos. We have, in short, everything we need to make this week awesome...except YOU, so head on over, and keep checking back! There will be new content all the time!

Because remember, anything can happen on Halloween...

(Does anyone else remember that movie? Geez it was awful, wasn't it? And that video makes me laugh my ass off every time. So cheesey they should serve it on toast.)

ALSO...to celebrate Halloween, Juno Books is giving away a FREE EBOOK! And it's seriously kick-ass:

Five frightening classic tales--all written by women--that should send a shiver or two down your spine. FIVE CLASSIC GHOST STORIES: A HALLOWEEN TREAT FROM JUNO BOOKS includes "Let Loose" by Mary Cholmondeley (1890), "The Striding-Place" by Gertrude Atherton (1896), "The Lost Ghost" by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman (1903), "Kerfol" by Edith Wharton (1916) and "Spunk" by Zora Neale Hurston (1925).

You can download it directly right here: this is it. But before that or after it, pay a visit to the Juno site and wander around a little!

I am quite excited about Halloween. Did I mention my goth zombie costume? I will take pictures, of course. The costume is made for someone shorter than me, it seems--quite odd, considering I'm barely 5'3--so the waist hits me in a weird place and makes me look stumpy, but it's a Halloween costume, so who cares? I'm just going to sit home that night and hand out candy anyway, while hubs takes the girls trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. I'm looking forward to it. I love trick-or-treaters.

And there was something else I was going to say, something quite interesting, too, but my children are making SO MUCH DAMNED NOISE I CAN'T HEAR MYSELF THINK. So I've forgotten it. Damn.

If I remember I'll come add it in. Meanwhile, head over to the League for some fun!

Oh and incidentally...

2008-10-24T11:11:00.002Z

(Head over to my lj to read how my daughter's school screwed me this morning, if you're interested.)

I saw this headline this morning and, of course (as an always-a-St.-Louisan-in-my-heart), immediately clicked on the story:

HIV scare puts MO school in uncertain territory. And much to my chagrin, saw that's it's Normandy high school.

I didn't go to Normandy (I lived in West County), but I knew Normandy. Everyone knew Normandy. I was particularly drawn by this line in the story: A competing school's football team initially balked at playing Normandy's 8-0 team.

Um...hell yeah, they balked. But the HIV thing? An excuse. Nobody wanted to play Normandy, because they knew they'd get their asses handed to them (see that 8-0 record?) Normandy consistently ranked in the top echelon of Varsity football teams nationwide; and their marching band is fucking legendery (among band geeks, at least, lol.)

You know how the stands usually empty at half-time? At Normandy they filled up, so everyone could watch their marching band tear that fucking field up. They were AWESOME. Amazing to watch, especially their legendary drum line, which at the time was coached by an awesome guy whose name I believe was Terry, and who stepped in to help out my own high school's drum line at one point, because he was kickass.

I was in my marching band for two years (color guard; groan, I know.) And Normandy was the band to beat. We went to competitions knowing we had no chance of beating Normandy, but just thrilled that we would get the chance to watch Normandy. (We usually came in second, if memory serves; our band director was one of the biggest assholes who ever walked the earth--I loathed him with a passion, he was a total cocksucker--but he was a damn good band director, and is I believe directing a college band now.)

So this is really, really sad. I have nothing but fond memories of Normandy and the awe in which they were held by other schools across the midwest. This sort of story would be a tragedy anyway, but I'm really saddened by this, and hope everything turns out okay.

Valuable life advice

2008-10-23T09:55:00.009Z

I had occasion this morning to give a very good friend a bit of advice for an uncomfortable situation. It's a piece of advice I've given before, and one which I might have stated here before as well.

It is valuable in every situation in life. There is, I believe, not a single circumstance in this world which this advice cannot help with, whether it's problems with friends, or getting ahead at work, or family issues, or...well, anything at all.

The advice is as follows. In every situation in life, no matter what fear or worry or problem you find yourself faced with, before acting you must ask yourself: What would Michael Corleone do?

And dude, if you don't know, because you haven't seen the movie or read the book (which is good, though not as good as the movies), you need to go watch it right now. Seriously. You cannot be a fully grown adult having not seen the Godfather Parts I and II (there is a third, but I have cast it thoroughly from my memory). Much like you cannot be a truly educated American if you have not read Gone With the Wind. We actually showed the sd both Godfather films while she was here for the summer, figuring fourteen was a good age to first be introduced to the movies. While she didn't quite get all of it, especially the second--the appearance of Pentangeli's brother at the Senate hearings confused her a bit, and we had to explain why it was a threat and not merely a nice visit from a relative, and the bit with the Senator and the dead hooker required some explanation as well--we felt confident that we had given her her first steps toward an strong adult education and a system of behavior which would see her well throughout her life (in addition to continuing our commitment to showing her some fucking awesome movies, as the usual fare in her house seems to be reality-show garbage. I will never forget showing her Die Hard for the first time Christmas before last; the kid's mouth literally hung open for half the movie. YES!)

Now, I'm not advocating we deal with life's little troubles and interferences the way, say, Michael dealt with Solozzo and McClusky, or Hyman Roth. Wholesale assassination is clearly wrong. And yes, there are some situations where we might do better to study Vito Corleone, who tempered his toughness with a bit more kindness.

But let's see. Casting aside the whole bloody-violence bit, let's see what we can learn from both Corleones:

1. Never take sides with anyone against the family. "Family" in this instance can be, say, close friends, as we don't all have close families. (This is an adjunct to several valuable pieces of advice given in Goodfellas, the most pertinent and valuable of which--it deserves to be embroidered on a sampler, seriously--is "Never rat on your friends, and always keep your mouth shut.")

2. Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

3. Never let anyone outside the family know what you're thinking. (This comes from Vito; and is truly valuable. Think of what happened to Vito because Sonny spoke up at their meeting with Solozzo!)

4. Your home and your family are sacred responsibilities.

5. Friendship is valuable; doing favors for others is a good thing. Always stick by your friends, and make their enemies your enemies.

6. Generosity is important, and will be rewarded. Whether this is generosity to yourself or to others, if you are capable of being charitable and helping those less fortunate, you should do so (puzzled at this one? Don't be. Remember, Vito got his start by being a helpful and unassuming.) This leads to the next one, which is:

7. Never threaten. Don't get angry, don't get emotional, and don't threaten. If they won't be reasonable, it's a waste of everyone's time to try and reason; just give it up. (The obvious corrollary to this is "Then have them killed and take what you want", but as I said, we're not going that far here. I absolutely do not advocate such behavior! But of course, if you wish to commit some small act of non-lethal revenge, that's for you and your conscience to work out on your own. I don't advocate it; it's rarely worth it, and you end up feeling like you behaved childishly, and thinking of yourself in a bad light.)

8. Loyalty is key. Treat people well, and they will treat you well in return; and if they don't, ignore them. Never go behind a friend's back. Always, always, stand up for your friends--Enzo the baker wasn't family, but he sure as hell knew how to pay back what he owed.

9. It's not personal, it's business. It's not personal, it's business!

10. Life means responsibility; live up to yours. (A man isn't a man if he doesn't take care of his family; that again comes from Vito, but Michael clearly agrees.)

11. Again, this relates to number 10. You need to take care of yourself. Nobody is going to do it for you, nobody. ACT. Don't sit around waiting for someone else to fix your problems; fix them yourself. Think coolly and calmly of what you need, and how to best get them. Then do it. Don't wait for permission, don't wait for the stars to align. You do the best you can, and you take the bull by the horns, and that is that.

I am fully convinced these rules will stand anyone in good stead for life. Let's take, for example, publishing. #11 comes first; you work hard and write the best ms you can, and you go about the process of finding an agent or publisher by doing things the way they should be done, and keeping your own counsel. Don't publish rejection letters or your thoughts on them; see numbers 3 and 9, especially. When you sell your ms, keep the details (aside from the public ones) to yourself. Don't get involved in online dramas. Don't freak out when presented with edits. Don't be mean or rude; let other people get all emotional and freak out and whine and throw fits. You are a professional, and an adult. Turn things in on time. Do what you say you're going to do.

Can you think of any I've missed? How do they relate to your life?

Agents: It's not about being nice

2008-10-20T11:22:00.007Z

I had intended to blog today about agents, and what to look for, but Victoria Strauss beat me to it, for the most part. So go read her post, and come on back. I'll wait.

The thing is, several times of late around the wide internets I've seen this subject come up, and I see comments about making sure you "click" with the agent, and making sure they're enthusiastic, and talking perhaps about where they see your career going. All of which is good advice, yes--for when you've got offers on the table.

But when deciding whom to query, you have no idea if you click with the agent or not. You may read their blog, if they have one, and decide you like them from that, which is fine.

The fact is, when sending queries there is only one matter of any importance. It's not their personality; it's not their blog; it's not that you met them at a conference and they were really fun and nice.

It's their sales, and only their sales*. What have they sold? Have those sales been to any of the big houses? An agent whose sales are only to small houses which don't require an agent suggests the agent in question doesn't have the necessary contacts at the major houses. An agent with no sales at all, also likely does not have the contacts*. An agent who's been in business for over a year without any sales likely does not have the contacts. These agents will not help your career; they will hinder it. An agent without any sales* doesn't know what's selling; they haven't yet picked a salesable manuscript (which is an agent's chief job; it's how they earn a living). Their submissions could very well be ignored by editors. If an editor does happen to take a look, and does happen to make an offer, this agent is very unlikely to be able to negotiate the best possible contract for you.

It doesn't matter if the agent is enthusiastic. It doesn't matter if they're nice. It doesn't matter if, in offering to represent you, they buy you a pony and some chocolates too. Because unless a pony and some chocolate is all you desire out of your career, chances are you'll never get further.

It doesn't matter if the agent is listed on Publisher's Marketplace; it doesn't matter if they attend conferences; it doesn't matter if they represent a friend of yours and that friend says the agent is just the nicest, happiest agent in the whole wide world. All that matters at the query stage is what they've sold.

If they don't have any sales*, they don't get your query. It's just that simple. Yes, publishing is a slow business, but that doesn't mean you can afford to waste a couple of years while your submissions go nowhere thanks to your ineffective agent.

If they don't have a website (and not all agents do; my own excellent agent doesn't have a site and isn't listed on PM; he rarely reports his sales [mine was reported because I asked him to; gotta love a man who tries to keep the ladies happy]; his internet presence, in short, in practically nonexistent) then Google is your friend. The sites Victoria listed are pretty good; I used both Agentquery.com and Litmatch.net, and followed up every agent who interested me with searches in the Bewares & Background Check forum on Absolute Write and extensive Googling before I decided whether or not to query them.

Meeting an agent at a conference is no guarantee. It depends on the conference; an agent taking pitch meetings at RWA Nationals, for example, has been vetted (I believe, anyway, that they have to be RWA-recognized in order to take appts. there); an agent who just shows up at RWA as a guest has NOT been vetted.

Seeing an agent keep a blog is no guarantee; I can think offhand of two agencies with blogs, whose sales records are either unimpressive or nonexistent (no, I don't recall their names, I just picture the sites in my head.)

A website is no guarantee; again, I can think of a few I've seen where they list "sales", but when I looked the titles up on Amazon (which is also your friend when it comes to agent-hunting) the books were either PA books or other vanity press books.

Quite frankly, just as there is little excuse in this day and age to give your book to a vanity-press scam like PublishAmerica, there is little excuse to query an agent you know nothing about, and no excuse in the world to sign with an agent with no sales*. This is pretty common-sense stuff here, really.

Just like an agent wouldn't sign YOU based on your pretty smile or charming personality if you'd never written a book, you shouldn't query an agent who's never sold one. Period. Remember when we talked about publishers and guinea pigs? It's the same thing.

You are not in this business to be somebody's practice round*. You are not in this business to help out new agents or give them a chance. You are not in this business to be a learning experience. You are in it to write books and make money from them.

Should you like your agent? Of course! Should you be comfortable with your agent? Of course. But all of that is to be determined later. When you start querying, the first and only thing that matters is what books they've sold. They represent your favorite writer, who's got four books on the shelves? Go for it. They represent your favorite writers who is a NYT Bestseller with dozens of books on the shelves? Go for it.

They represent some authors you know online, who are really great people and talented and say how much they love their agent, but none of them has a deal, and when you check the agent's website there are no sales listed? Nope, sorry. Throw back the little fish.

Mercenary? Perhaps. But trust me. You might feel bad deciding not to query that agent, but you'll feel a lot worse two years down the road, when five manuscripts have made the rounds and been rejected (and are therefore "dead" for all intents and purposes) and neither you nor any of your friends have actually sold any books.

And that's what I have to say on that subject.

I am forming a rather troubling addiction to a particular candy. They're called "Drumsticks"; they're a sort of raspberry-and-milk flavored taffy on a stick. I'm not sure why I like them so much, but I do, and I'm getting to a point where the day isn't complete without one. And it's not like an adult dessert (I baked a honey-and-chocolate cake on Saturday; not bad). This is taffy on a stick we're talking about. There is nothing more childlike than candy on a stick, seriously. Or any food on a stick, really, with the exception of kebabs which I dislike (the meat is always tough, and they always use red peppers which regular readers know I am violently allergic to). But even with kebabs you take the stick out.

So I'm doubly looking forward to Halloween, because the candy assortment we buy comes with many, many Drumsticks. Ahhh.

Also tried on my Halloween costume yesterday and put up our Halloween decorations, which was fun. Unfortunately the waist of the costume is a little high, which makes me look a bit stumpy, but so what. It's a sort of zombie dress with sheer sleeves and sheer panels on the stomach, on which bones are printed. I guess it's supposed to give them impression that my flesh is rotting away?

I will of course post pictures when I have some.

*NOTE: A new agent with an established agency is the exception to this. If Agent X is suddenly taking queries at Writer's House, or Fine Print, or Trident, or Dystel, or whatever established agency, chances are they not only used to be an assistant and thus have some contacts and experience, but one of the pros will be helping them. New agents at established agencies are an EXCELLENT bet for queries.

If you haven't seen these...just for fun

2008-10-17T10:40:00.002Z

These are some damn funny--and classy--speeches. I may never get the debate format I want (both candidates sitting in a room trying to convince the other their way is the right way, with 1/2 hour or so devoted to each topic, with no moderator, which I think would be awesome), but this is fun:

McCain (watch his first, because it leads into Obama's):

Obama:

Enjoy!

...and the angels wept

2008-10-16T09:59:00.004Z

Madonna and Guy are divorcing.

It's just so sad. They seemed so perfect for each other; two human beings of great pretention, marginal talent, and superior marketing skills. Two self-absorbed rich people who found each other in a world of self-absorbed rich people. Sigh. It brings a tear to my eye, to think a marriage so clearly based in ~~strike-while-the-iron-is-hot publicity and the ephemeral promise of a certain lazy one-note filmmaker's lazy one-note films~~ love has come to an end.

No, honestly. I do loathe Madonna, and I do think Guy Richie is a talentless one-note filmmaker who only succeeded on Tarantino's coattails. But they did stick it out well beyond the absolute catastrophe that was Swept Away, so I give them credit for trying.

It does kind of make me wonder, though. Is it really even a marriage when you spend less than half a year together? And how bad do things need to get before you split up a marriage when you only see each other for photo ops? I think even if I were in a bad marriage I'd be able to stay in it for the sake of my kids if I never had to see the man involved for more than ten minutes. Really. Kind of like how for centuries widowhood was one of the best stages in a woman's life*? They could do what they liked, but they weren't sluts because they'd been married; they got to live only and solely for themselves.

I have no desire to be a widow, of course. But I do admit there have been times over the last eight years when I've thought rather enviously of women in polygamous marriages. I know that's not something we're supposed to say, but it's true. Think how nice it would be if, say, you have yet another stupid fucking stomach flu, and there's another wife around to feed and dress the children and take them to school (luckily--or not so luckily--Princess has been sick too, so I haven't had to cart her to and from school, but Faerie still has her nursery school three mornings a week.) Or you had insomnia and didn't sleep, and another wife lets you stay in bed while she handles that stuff.

Or if I have a lot of work to do, I could hand over the dinner responsibilities to another wife while I hole up somewhere with the computer. Another wife can keep the hubs busy (when you've been married for eight years I think expediency can sometimes override jealousy) so I can keep working.

It's not a perfect system, of course (and I don't think I need to tell anyone here how far my tongue is in my cheek.) But seriously, I can't be the only woman in the world who's ever thought this? That it would be quite nice to have a couple of other women around to help with the housework and the kids? To roll eyes with when the hubs is grumpy? Like, I'd tell the hubs to look for a wife who likes doing crafty things with the kids, because I'm not good at that (I have really no visual artistic abilities at all; my stuff looks nice enough but there's no real spark, I can never make it look the way it does in my head). And in exchange I'll teach them all to cook. And there could be an outdoorsy wife, who takes them hiking and to the playground and stuff, while I stay home and smoke and drink bourbon. It sounds frankly ideal, I have to say (and I've only seen Big Love once, sigh; is it even still on? They don't show it here.)

Of course, this assumes I get to be First Wife, as with the feudal Chinese. No Third or Fourth Wife positions for me, no way. I want to be Numero Uno, not the drudge.

But really, am I totally strange in thinking, just occasionally, that this might actually be a really good system? That it might actually save some couples from divorcing, even, if there's less fighting over who clears the table and does the dishes and takes the kids to violin lessons and all that stuff? And everyone gets more sleep.

Thoughts?

*Note: When I say this I'm thinking of women throughout history who made loveless marriages simply to be married; I'm not at all implying this was the case for everyone.

In other news: First, I keep forgetting, like a dumbass, to mention this, but did you all see my good friend Caitlin's awesome announcement? I was lucky enough to beta-read the first three chapters of WITCH NUMBERS, and I have to tell you guys, it was fucking awesome. So awesome that this announcement did not surprise me one little bit. You will NOT want to miss these books when they come out, trust me.

Also, Accustomed to his Fangs got its first review! My beloved Mrs. Giggles gave the book an 85:

Accustomed To His Fangs is a most amusing vampire romance with a plot that is different from most of the vampire romances out there...The story here is actually a predictable one, but Ms Quinn manages to make it a most entertaining story nonetheless. Ms Quinn manages to poke a few sly fun at the expense of the more familiar submissive heroines of this kind of stories by having Becky deliberately not wanting to do what those heroines would have done without a second thought...Accustomed To His Fangs on the whole is a cute and most entertaining fresh twist on the whole vampire romance thing.

Read the full review here

Also, we have some new reviews for a couple of older titles! Bitten by Books has been working its way through my entire catalog, it seems, and they have some lovely things to say:

About Blood Will Tell:

...this is a well-written story by Quinn. She definitely knows how to tell a darned good story. 3.5 tombstones from the cranky Southern Belle.

About Day of the Dead:

Day of the Dead is an interesting story, a classic template with a few nice twists and an pleasant ending. Quinn spins a good yarn about vampires, revenge and love.

And last but not least, Personal Demons:

Personal Demons is fast-paced, well written, and downright scary in places. The action doesn’t let up, although it does slow down enough at times so you can catch your breath, and the love scenes between Greyson and Megan are hot enough to steam up your glasses.

So there you go! It's Thursday, and I finally don't feel like I'm going to throw up at any second!

Bio and other fun

2008-10-13T11:22:00.004Z

Isn't that cute? It's a little icon thingie I made on one of those website where you can do that sort of thing. They didn't have any hair options that are really like mine, but this is okay.

I have a new bio, which I sent to my Del Rey edtor last week. It is:

Stacia Kane has been a phone psychic, a customer service representative, a bartender, and a movie theatre usher. Writing is more fun than all of them combined.
She currently lives with her husband and their two little girls. She wears a lot of black, still makes great cocktails, likes to play music loud in the car, and thinks Die Hard is one of the greatest movies ever made. She believes in dragons and the divine right of kings, and is a fervent Ricardian.
Visit her online at www.Staciakane.com.

My editor really liked it, so hopefully that's a good sign that it doesn't make me sound like a loon. I do hate writing bios; I try to write serious ones and end up sounding like a pretentious git, so I try to funny it up and sound like some sort of escapee from Arkham ("Stacia Kane spends her nights in a bunny suit, stealing candy from children and plotting the destruction of do-gooders," that sort of thing).

The bio also apparently started a debate in the DR offices about Richard III, which is awesome. (One political point I will make at every turn is the innocence of Richard III. "Because truth should be more powerful than lies...and truth is important.")

Anyway. What else. Oh, I just got to explain to my almost-four-year-old what a panty liner is, that was fun (sorry, is that TMI?)

We bought Halloween costumes this weekend. Hubs tried to drum up some interest in doing some sort of Halloween activity at his work, but that did not go over well. Apparently Halloween is "not Christian" and is therefore inappropriate. Yes, really.

The checkout girl at Woolworths mentioned this to us as well, that it's hard to get anyone interested in Halloween for that reason (it's seen as "un-Christian" and therefore wrong to celebrate. Yes, really), and she found it confusing because she thought America was a fairly religious country, but we seem to love Halloween, how does that work? So hubs and I basically explained to her that while you do occasionally hear of some religious group or lone pastor who thinks Halloween is evil, most Americans simply see Halloween as an amusing and light-hearted holiday that hurts no one, and the schools and a lot of churches and workplaces enter into the fun of it, and only sourpusses and the supremely unimaginative do things like hold candlelight vigils to pray for the souls of those poor unfortunates who are led by Satan into committing the great sin of dressing up like Superman or Princess Leia and asking strangers to put mini Snickers bars into their pillowcases or plastic pumpkin carriers or whatever they're using (when I was a kid we used pillowcases, as they are much bigger. In trick-or-treating, as with so many things, size matters.)

In this pro-Halloween, anti-stupidity stance I have no worries about offending potential readers; frankly, if you think Halloween is evil, you're probably not really the target audience for my books about sexy demons and drug-addicted atheistic witches anyway, right?

Objecting to the celebration of Halloween for religious reasons makes about as much sense as objecting to evergreen trees with lights on them for religious reasons; we're talking about trappings, not beliefs. Halloween costumes are fun; trick-or-treating is fun. Trees with lights in them are pretty. Get over it. (Yes, for some of us Oct. 31st is a holiday with deeper meaning, but that doesn't mean that's all the holiday means or should mean to anyone, and it certainly doesn't mean no one should be allowed to have any fun that night.)

Anyway. I'd intended to do this "as me anything" meme thing, but maybe I'll save that until Thursday, as my little Halloween story developed a life of its own here. So on Thursday I will invite you to ask me anything, no matter how scandalous or shocking. Be prepared. Heh heh.